I was notified about this Huffington Post article by a BGLH reader who wished to remain anonymous. She was bothered by the author’s conclusions, which downplayed any negative psychology behind black women’s decisions to relax and denied any significance to Michelle Obama’s choice of hairstyle.
I was able to get in contact with the article’s author, UK based novelist Lola Jaye.
She was willing to answer some tough questions. Read through the interview and post your thoughts!
BGLH: Lola, first off… It’s awesome that you had a gig writing for a leading blog like Huffington Post! How did you get hooked up with that?
LJ: Thank you. I’d heard about Chris Rock’s upcoming movie and had come across a few articles on your wonderful First Lady Michelle Obama and her hairstyles, so I decided to marry the two topics together and have some fun. Luckily, it just so happens that both topics are kind of hot at the moment.
Having my writing displayed on a website like Huffpo is such an honor, even if some of my friends hadn’t heard of it!
BGLH: Before we talk about hair, I’d like you to talk a bit about your book “By The Time You Read This”. Where did you get inspiration for that story? And how long did it take to write?
LJ: I had been writing, unpublished for years. But one day, I was sitting at home watching Oprah and the show focused on a dying mother who had left a collection of keepsakes for her daughter. I started to ponder this terrible situation and wondered what would happen if I wrote about a man’s love for his daughter and his desire to raise her – even when he couldn’t be around to do that.
I felt really strongly about writing something from the point of view of a man; a man who thinks, feels and loves. A strong, beautiful man who loves his child with everything he has, and is not afraid to cry or to tell his daughter that he loves her. That was important to me. The story had such a pull that I wrote the first draft in six months – whilst holding down a full time job. My agent sent the manuscript to a UK publisher and the USA followed. My novel By The Time You Read This has now been published in some other languages including Korean. I still have to pinch myself!
BGLH: Do you wear your hair naturally now? And when did you make that decision to go natural? What spurred that decision?
LJ: I don’t wear my hair natural at present, so shall I leave now!? Seriously, I’ve had many styles; braids, weaves, funky ‘fro, curls. I even shaved my hair off once! Oh, how liberating that felt – until I had to go to work (I promptly lost my nerve and bought a wig, which felt awful because I kept imagining a lone stranger walking up to me and whipping it off!). Currently, I am wearing thinly plaited –in extensions, which cost loads to get done here in London. In Nigeria, I get it done for a fraction of the price (if we ignore the air fare!).
BGLH: Why did you lose your nerve?
LJ: My head was completely shaved off – bald, clean and I needed the insulation! Have you been to London in the winter? :)
Some ladies – like Solange Knowles, look absolutely beautiful with very short hair – but I have a really big head and with no hair on it, this shows!
BGLH: When you were natural did you view it as a style, or was it an attempt to be more accepting of your hair in its natural state?
LJ: I think for many people, it can be a bit of both. I was totally bored with the straight look so rocking a funky afro seemed a million miles away from that style.
BGLH: You said in your Huffington Post article
“We debated the historical and psychological factors many feel are responsible for the rise in women who relax or weave their hair and it all got a bit confusing and we were unable to reach firm conclusions.”
Why did the discussion get confusing, and why were you unable to reach firm conclusions?
LJ: I think it’s such a contentious issue. A lot (not all) of my girlfriends do wear their hair relaxed and in effect they were having to justify themselves. However, the discussions ranged from the ‘need’ for straight hair dating back many years, to the manageability argument, to the accusations of buying into the notion that current perceptions of beauty do not include Afro hair or anything remotely African. It was a long discussion!
However, without dismissing any theories, we ended up concluding that women are a myriad of differences. We aren’t all the same and should not be defined as such. One woman’s reasons (psychological or not) for relaxing her hair are not the same as another woman’s reasons for relaxing her hair. Everyone (thankfully) is different.
BGLH: You also said this;
“From my girlfriends’ perspective, being able to change hair styles with the aid of hair extensions or weaves once a month has more to do with having the power to look different on a whim, than a deeper psychological reason. Oh and a lot to do with laziness as the thought of just giving the mane a quick run through with the hand before heading out for the day as opposed to a thorough comb job is quite appealing. Leaving them time to get on with other things (although one could argue that the eight hours a month spent getting it styled is just as time consuming).”
Aside from the issue of versatility (“the power to look different”) do you think there is something significant about the fact that black women often seek diversity of styles with straight hair as a template instead of their own natural texture? Also do you think there is any significance in the fact that, anecdotally, a higher percentage of black women alter their natural texture?
LJ: As I touched on in the article, conformity can come into play as it almost seems the ‘norm’ to have a relaxed ‘do or a weave. Oh wow, that would mean I am a conformist – and yet I believe myself to be far from that.
So what is the right answer to your question?
I don’t think there is one. You see, there can be a tendency for women, whatever their color, to be defined by their hair. And this is unfortunate. We’ve all heard the sexist ‘blonde jokes’. In England, even ginger (red) hair can induce pre-conceived perceptions that aren’t very flattering. And as I touched on in the article, women of color with ‘natural’ hair can be viewed as more in touch with their African self, than those with a weave!
It’s always best to never judge a book by its cover (no pun intended) but instead choose to look inside of that person whilst trying not to make any assumptions based on a person’s hairstyle.
BGLH: Do you feel that choice of hair style is ever an indication of a person’s personality or beliefs?
LJ: Having worked as a psychotherapist in the past, I am no stranger to the knowledge that history and upbringing can contribute to a persons psychological state. Just as there may be women who are more readily influenced by certain belief systems, for others, their motivation for straightening their hair or wearing weaves can be more to do with versatility and convenience. A hairstyle can at times be just that.
A lady I know wore her hair in dreadlocks for years and one day decided to cut them off. Soon after, an acquaintance of hers admitted feeling ‘let down’ by this act as she’d previously thought of her as a radical Sistah! My friend’s confident reaction sums things up nicely; ‘I am still the same person. Nothing has changed, except the style of my hair!’
BGLH: Thanks so much Lola for taking the time to answer these questions!
LJ: A pleasure!
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What are your thoughts? For more of Lola check her website; http://lolajaye.com/
