Mom grows out daughter’s kinky natural hair to waist length | Black Girl with Long Hair Black Girl with Long Hair | Natural Hair Styles and Natural Hair Care

10 January 2010 ~ 101 Comments

Mom grows out daughter’s kinky natural hair to waist length

Naturally I was amazed by this story, so I asked Ayoka to share her daughter’s regimen. She sent this in her reply e-mail

“People can mistake a well managed head of 4b hair for 3 type hair. I get that a lot and I educate people so they aren’t mistaken and know that their hair can do all the stuff my daughter’s and my hair does. I think when people understand all the options they have with their hair and that it’s really not that difficult to manage, then we will see more of us letting go of the relaxers because relaxed hair isn’t nearly as versatile, healthy and in my opinion, beautiful on us as our own hair texture.”

AYOKA’S DAUGHTER’S REGIMEN

1. Very low manipulation. This is the most important thing I must emphasize for type 4 hair. 4b hair is the most fragile and if you’re breaking it off while you’re trying to grow it, you’ll never see length. I’m able to avoid a lot of manipulation because I keep it stretched never letting it bunch up, tangle up or shrink.

2. Keep it stretched. This is especially important for me because she has a lot of hair and I can’t afford the situations that will surely jump off, if I allow all that hair to shrink and wrap around each other. The detangle would be enormous. The way I keep her hair in a stretched state is by keeping it moisturized, oiled and in box braids, this way it is never really tangled to the point where I have to go at it like a mad woman. I am able to detangle her hair for the most part using my fingers. I use a wide tooth comb to help and a soft brush down the length of it to smooth it out when I style it. The most important thing is to never snatch though it. Be gentle and work your way from the bottom when detangling.

3. I never wash it all loose. That would be an epic undertaking. I always keep her hair separated. I take her braids down one at a time (I do this in our bath tub) wash, condition, rinse and sloppily twist or braid that section and continue on to the next until I’m done and ready to style. I mostly co-wash and ACV rinse prior to co-washing when it’s really dirty. When washing I do not ever scrub the hair against it self like you see in commercials this will create tangle and knots. I wet the section thoroughly and pull the conditioner gently down her hair shaft and rinse downward, loosening and separating any tangles as I go using a wide tooth comb from the ends upward if necessary.

4. Moisture is key for type 4 hair because as we all know it’s drier than a dessert. My daughters hair likes heavy products. So any thick leave-in or moisturizer is where I start on her damp washed hair. I coat each section with a leave in or moisturizer (not picky just has to be thick) and then seal with olive oil and shea always gently pulling the product down the hair shaft. This is heavy but for her dry hair it smooths it out and helps it to stretch to the max without heat. I spray her scalp and braids with pure Aloe Vera juice mixed with olive oil. I redo her hair no more than every two weeks. If she’s rocking 8 or more braids that can be styled different ways, I’ll leave it up for up to a month, cleaning her scalp with a wet rag and cleaning her braids from top to bottom with a wet rag, sometimes I’ll wash her hair while in the braids if it gets to dirty. Yes it gets fuzzy when I do this but sometimes I’m lazy and sometimes she doesn’t feel like getting it done lol. If she’s got her 5 braid situation going on, I will of course take her hair wraps off each braid and tie her hair up at night and use some product to brush and smooth it in the morning and put her hair bands (non-elastic and using very little tension). She looks fresh like that for 2 weeks.

***
For more of Ayoka, check out her blog HERE.

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101 Responses to “Mom grows out daughter’s kinky natural hair to waist length”

  1. Keshia 28 February 2010 at 7:48 pm Permalink

    Hair is so beautiful! Great inspiration for me and everyone out there with natural hair!This should be on the frickin news that wud put relaxer out of business mwahahahahahahahahahahaha! lol If I hav a daughter I will make sure she is bought up like ours <3

  2. Autumn 5 March 2010 at 2:03 pm Permalink

    Beautiful hair. As long as she knows she’s beautiful on the inside, that will reflect the outside as well

  3. ayomide 18 March 2010 at 11:50 pm Permalink

    Wish I saw more little beautiful blacks girls with natural hair. It pains me to see little girls with relaxers in their hair. My niece has a relaxer and her hair is short and damaged and she hates to get her hair done. I love your daughters hair and the self love you are instilling in her, more mothers should embrace this attitude

  4. Tawanda 20 March 2010 at 11:55 pm Permalink

    Wow…what an amazing story! I’m so glad she was able to share her regimen with us. I try to use some of those same concepts with my own hair. Her daughter’s hair is Awesome and beautiful!

  5. Zabeth 16 April 2010 at 3:09 pm Permalink

    Hi All! Hello! In the article she talked about how her hair was “4B nappy.” How can one tell? Where would I be able to find out about the nappiness grading system? Sorry if this question has been asked an answered already- you can email me directly at zabeth91@yahoo.com. Thx.

  6. Lydia 16 April 2010 at 11:31 pm Permalink

    Your daughter has very beautiful Hair! I do have issue with the statement ‘no recent interruption of my African bloodline, in other words not mixed.’Have you research your family tree? I had my family history compiled and I found bloodline link to Belgium and India.My mom is African-American and Brazilian and my dad was Cherokee and Moroccan. My husband is Spanish and my children are quite multiracial. Is it really an “interruption” to have different ethnicities in a family tree? You cant segregate love.

    • Cyan 24 March 2011 at 10:55 am Permalink

      The point she is trying to make is that most people think that the only way African hair can grow long is though having a mixing of races. I think that way some times too. For instance when different races mix – a African and a East Indian have children the hair is usually long, thick and curly.
      So I understand that she just means that there is no mixing in her blood line – their are both of the African race and their child has extremely long hair!!

    • Cinnamondiva 12 November 2011 at 11:12 pm Permalink

      This is a cute little girl. Lydia…I’m of mixed race as well. I’m not offended by the author’s statement because there is clearly no hate behind it.

      Yes, some people do look down on biracial/multiracial people and this is unfortunate. But the author wasn’t doing this at all. BTW, not all Black people are mixed. Some people have no recent admixture in their families at all. Clarence Thomas is one such person. He has no European ancestry.

  7. Alicia 17 April 2010 at 5:05 am Permalink

    aaaaaaaaaaaaaw my god! she’s got the most beautufuLLest hair i’ve seen, word! … i would love to grow out my little sisters(4) hair like this! thanks sooooooooo much for sharing ur regimen!

  8. Nikki 27 April 2010 at 1:20 am Permalink

    Wow … great blog! I wish my mother had the same approach to my hair when I was little. Unfortunately I had the creamy crack treatment at 5 years old (which is TRULY a shame) and I’ve had a love-hate relationship with my hair ever since.

  9. Victoria 4 May 2010 at 5:55 pm Permalink

    I wish I had read this before I permed my daughter’s hair about 2 weeks ago. She is 9 and I finally got frustrated and gave up on her hair. Ironically, I thought “braiding” was breaking her hair off. It is too late for my daughter’s hair since I just permed it? What should I do now. My hair is still natural and it has broken off because I got braids last year and have been in a wig every since. I will definitely begin using these techniques for my hair. Thanks for this post.

  10. Michelle 20 May 2010 at 9:25 am Permalink

    This is so inspirational! Thank you so much for sharing this story.

  11. Leo the Yardie Chick 25 May 2010 at 3:23 pm Permalink

    AWESOME! I wish this information was around when I was a child. My mother had NO IDEA what to do with my thick hair and I grew to hate it as a result. Now that I’m transitioning, I’m taking it upon myself to learn how to care for my natural hair and, by extension, my daughters’ hair if I am ever blessed with them.

  12. Leo the Yardie Chick 25 May 2010 at 8:47 pm Permalink

    just one question though – you said you don’t use blow dryers or heat on her hair. I assume that means you leave it to air-dry, or do you wrap it in a towel? I’m just wondering how to control the dripping with the air-dry method.

  13. Suryah 26 May 2010 at 7:42 pm Permalink

    I am not going to tell you I have not seen hair like this on African American little girls. Because I certainly have. Not a whole lot but I have. And I was as awwwwed!! then as I am with your little girl. But SADLY these babies all had RELAXED hair. Except for one little girl in the elementary school I taught at. Her braids were so beautiful, she too had hair type, around 4a or 4b.
    I thought she was the most beautiful little chocolate girl with hair
    down to her booty. She was only in the First grade then. Imagine my HORROR one day.
    When after the holiday break, this baby came to school in Tears. Why?…because her lazy short haired mammy said she couldn’t Deal with it.

    From what I understood the child’s mother was an ex wife. The step- mom the present wife along with the child’s father had permanent custody of this little girl. Lazy mom had the child on weekends, holidays and every other Wednesdays. Before anyone defends lazy mom.
    This mother told the court she did not want her child or any visits.

    Later she changed her mind and was awarded visitation. I say all of this to Commend you, for the Beautiful self esteem you are instilling in this child. This little girl in my class whole attitude changed with the cutting of her hair. It took a very long time to get that child’s spirits back up. I also think you Ayoka are a Beautiful mother. HATS off to you I just loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Natural hair. Infact I love hair period. More of us should be doing what you are doing. I too am a natural 56 year old.

  14. JAAR 2 June 2010 at 4:48 pm Permalink

    Lydia, Why too deep honey she was not being negative when she said no interruption to the bloodline. It was a way to simply say that she was not mixed that she knows of. My God…SMH.

    In any event great job mom–love the story.

  15. Lydia 5 June 2010 at 1:23 am Permalink

    @ JAAR

    “That she knows of” My Point EXACTLY!!!I did my research And I KNOW exactly what I AM!!She comes across like she look down on Mixed ppl! REsearch your family tree then get back to me!No need to use GOD’s name in Vain, either JAAR!!!

    • Raven 17 October 2011 at 2:49 pm Permalink

      i think you just misconceived her message. I don’t think she looks down on people with mixed heritage, she only said that to disprove the so-called fact that Black people cannot grow long hair without having some sort close mixed ethnicity. In no way she is expressing any hatred or anything negative towards people who are mixed.

    • Barbara 19 October 2011 at 11:20 pm Permalink

      Way to miss the point there, sport.

  16. Lydia 5 June 2010 at 1:55 am Permalink

    Shake yo’ Head at THAT, Jaar!!!

    • BABS 11 November 2011 at 2:24 pm Permalink

      why are you so upset?
      I know exactly what she means & it wasn’t in any negative manner.
      Im from Ghana too, i have very thick long hair that i have to relax
      constantly & even when i do, it still looks unprocessed. I literally have to argue most of the time with people who tell me i need a perm when i just probably got one 2 weeks prior. They insist im mixed & there is no way my hair could 100% African hair but i was born & bred in Ghana all my life. Its frustrating hearing that all the time. African hair does grow in amazing lengths if you know how to take care of it. That is all she’s saying.

    • Mary 28 December 2011 at 2:30 am Permalink

      Seriously, how many different people need to explain to you what she meant for you to calm down? It’s unfortunate that she had to make that statement at all but it was made for those that believe people of black ancestry cannot grow long hair without being mixed. (It’s a silly idea I myself belived until learning more about proper haircare.)And yes, you’re right she may not know her *exact* ancestry as you do but whether or not she is “mixed” by your definition or anyone elses has no bearing on the fact that she and her daughter have 4a/4b hair and are proof it can be grown long.

  17. Cassie-O 19 June 2010 at 6:27 pm Permalink

    She said she had no RECENT interruption to her bloodline. Everyone is mixed. Some are just mixed farther down the bloodline. She was just trying to state that she is mainly of african descent. I don’t see anything offensive with that statement. If you want to be technical i’m sure her Ghanian husband has a “mixed” blood line as well.

    • BABS 11 November 2011 at 2:30 pm Permalink

      if he is 100% Ghanaian then no.. unless he’s not then that’s a whole different story.

  18. Ray Morris 5 July 2010 at 10:11 am Permalink

    Bravo!!!………….You also have a great writing style.

  19. Malantha 16 July 2010 at 3:55 am Permalink

    What an inspirational and informative article!
    However, I didn’t think she was being disrespectful to mixed race people at all!
    I think the point that she was making, is that it is often assumed that you can only achieve the length and texture that her daughter has if you have mixed heritage.
    What Ayoka illustrates is that it is the treatment of the hair that determines its condition, not any kind of blood line.

  20. Ericka 30 July 2010 at 12:01 am Permalink

    Jeez louise…. Can she be “black and proud”? We got so many blacks that have not a clue where they come from claiming to be mixed because they shamed to just be plain black. Give this woman a break for proclaiming that she African since we’s all African anyway.

    Anyway where does this thinking that “we are all mixed” come from? It is not a common assumption that every non-black person is mixed so why is there one when it comes to blacks? The battle against the black diaspora must stop. Sure some are mixed but I highly doubt if every black person in the whole wide world is mixed or even in America…. Come on now.

  21. summer-daze 30 July 2010 at 8:58 pm Permalink

    I agree with you, Ericka! 150%!!

  22. LALA 19 August 2010 at 1:50 am Permalink

    Geez people always need a reason to be offended. She is saying her daughter has all that length without being mixed. Her dad is 100% Black from Africa and mom has no recent mix. Geez

  23. tinimichi 15 September 2010 at 11:20 pm Permalink

    Both of my parents are Ghanaian, so I never thought my hair would ever be able to pass shoulder length. This really gives me hope! :D

  24. Leslie 23 November 2010 at 3:48 pm Permalink

    This is so sweet

    http://thetaleofgoingnatural.blogspot.com

  25. bahgirl96 14 December 2010 at 5:56 pm Permalink

    This is wonderful, a strong African-american mother teaching her young daughter about natural hair and being confident in it. God bless :)

  26. NappyMarge 23 February 2011 at 1:25 am Permalink

    Nice that the mom has also stayed natural herself! Great job

  27. Laura 1 April 2011 at 10:20 am Permalink

    Really impressed with this. Really deflated with my own efforts; it has been a year and my hair is breaking more than ever. What do you consider a “thick moisturizer?” I think this is what my regimen lacks…

  28. Inka 10 April 2011 at 1:06 pm Permalink

    What a stunning little girl! I hope my babies are as gorgeous as her! Keep up the good work, she’s lovely.

  29. Kim 19 May 2011 at 7:38 pm Permalink

    I love your daughter’s hair!!! my daughter has the same texture as your little one and her hair is down her back as well, but I ran into difficulties as it grew out, there was SO MUCH MORE. But after reading your post you gAve me hope!! i think where I was going wrong i was going at it everyday and it became overwhelming now I know to keep it up at least a week, because her hair will not last that long. But thanks for sharing!!!!

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  31. Jayell 11 August 2011 at 8:29 pm Permalink

    my mom used to braid our hair and it was down our backs. then we got the relaxers, and well you know the rest of the story. I admit that I still use relaxers (twice per year) but if I had a daughter I’d definitely do what you do now with her. Teach her how to take care of her natural locks — thanks for your post!

  32. Kiyah 12 August 2011 at 7:55 pm Permalink

    her hair is pretty and long.

  33. kim p 16 August 2011 at 9:23 am Permalink

    my hair was just like hers when i was younger i bnegged my mom to perm my hair at like 12 i think and she did. ow my hair is mid back length i have about and ich and 1/2 of new growth trying to get back to natural. i use natural products essential oils on my hair its been growing fast. Im black both my parents black. I consider myself to be african. I take care of my hair no heat, no petroleum based products

  34. Danni 11 November 2011 at 12:26 pm Permalink

    What a beautiful family! Love this!

  35. Charmaine 11 November 2011 at 8:33 pm Permalink

    Her daughter is beautiful! I have a 6 yr old daughter, who’s hair I keep natural as well, she is the reason I decided to go natural. I hate to see little girls, especially those under 4 with relaxers. My daughter’s hair is right past her shoulders and very curly, I definitely will try this with her hair. I have learned a lot more about her hair since becoming natural myself.

  36. Latreice 12 November 2011 at 7:11 am Permalink

    So true! That’s all natural hair needs: Nurturing. Soft touch. Moisture Moisture and more Moisture!!!

  37. Lyn 14 November 2011 at 12:14 am Permalink

    I will have to share this with my sister who now has two children, one who’s hair is 4b and 4c. I should share this with my mom as well, she hates that I keep my hair in braids 97% of the time! I try to tell her, I’ll see the benefits soon. Lol! Great read.

  38. Eliada Maldonado 8 December 2011 at 4:46 pm Permalink

    THAT’S IT!!! Curly hair rocks! I was almost in tears reading this. I am transitioning to my natural hair and I was not expecting to see so much information, blogs, suggestions, products and testimonies on growing natural hair. I have never seen so much beautiful hair in its natural state EVER!!! I really believe that more and more women are excepting who they are and what they look like and are embracing the beauty they do not need to alter. I LOVE IT! I see God! I see God moving in the hearts of women and I thank you all for sharing. NATURAL HAIR IS TAKING OVER! You see more women just stepping out like WHAT! this is my hair and yes! I look gorgeous! I Love it! Thank you all!

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  41. Cacey 21 April 2012 at 5:39 pm Permalink

    what’s so sad about this though….is how many of us would love to have this little girl’s hair but without having to wear it in braids or plaits all the time. it’s great for little children. in fact, my hair was midback length when i was 12 simply because it was ALWAYS in braids/twists and the like, and didn’t get touched but maybe once or twice a month. but if you like loose-hanging hair and have highly textured ethnic hair, then it’s like battling against the hair gods to get adequate length retention. so i mean, i don’t think it’s any amazing feat to have a black child with long hair, honestly. it’s great, because it’s rare, but this lady incorporated the same method my own parents used to grow my hair long. *shrugs* it’s a nice thought, though.


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