February 7 to 13 is BGLH’s second annual guest blogger week. I will be turning the mic over to BGLH readers to say what’s on their mind. Simon is our first guest blogger and the first dude to ever post on BGLH.
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Before I begin I must admit that growing up, I never found natural hair to be sexy or even appealing. Yes! I admit the self-hate. Like many other people of color, I had been brainwashed into believing that Western features were ideal yada yada yada you know the rest of the story. Suffice to say, my perceptions have clearly changed. I have nothing but the utmost respect for natural women not only because they are beautiful but because they are brave. In a society that idolizes only one definition of beauty, picking up that clipper to do the “big chop” must be the scariest thing in the world. Yet natural women do it and they overcome it and for that I tip off my hat to them. I find natural women to be incredibly sexy and unique.
I go to college in the Midwest and there aren’t exactly a lot of natural women in the Midwest. Everything is very generic and people go with what the crowd is wearing or doing. During winter break two years ago some friends and I went to New York City. On Christmas Eve, my friends and I were at this huge international party in Brooklyn. Most everyone at the party was white or Latino. All of a sudden I noticed a very beautiful, locked black girl sitting at a corner. She oozed so much confidence and there was a certain sophistication in the way she spoke. I approached her politely and said “hi”. We were the only two black people in the room. She replied unenthusiastically. Every time I tried to start a discussion with her, she would ignore me and walk away. Because of her abrasive attitude, I stopped trying to talk to her. When white guys approached her and introduced themselves, on the other hand, she was very polite and she would start conversations with them. I believe she left the party with one of the guys at some point. And unfortunately I have had several unfortunate experiences with natural women like this one.
A few months ago I decided that I was going to grow an afro. I know absolutely nothing about natural hair and hair products. I asked my sister for some tips (we live in different countries) and she told me to use Google and YouTube. I started my natural hair research online and I started to notice a trend. A lot of the female natural hair bloggers had white husbands and/or boyfriends. This got me thinking; do natural women prefer white men? Is that why I have been having bad experiences with natural women?
Months went by and my small afro started to grow. Something very strange started to happen. All my white friends became absolutely obsessed with my hair. They would grab it, squeeze it and try to experiment with it. Every time they saw it, they would shower me with compliments. They even voted my hair the “best hair” among everyone in our friend circle. To them natural hair is “curly hair”. They don’t make distinctions like “kinky” or this or that or whatever. My black friends, on the other hand, were appalled by the afro. They would call it “nappy” and say I should be ashamed to come to school with hair like that. I remember my fellow African/very good friend saying that “You look like the real African bushman. Go and cut that hair”.
This got me thinking; if natural women prefer white men is it because white men are more receptive to natural hair? Is it something else? Let me hear your honest opinions.
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Simon is 22 years old and a first year graduate student. You can read more from Simon at his blog http://a-boy-from-another-planet.blogspot.com/
