And to juxtapose Method Man’s view (lol), here’s an article from reader Martin B. (pictured below with daughter
Martin and daughter
By Martin B.
In November 2010, my girlfriend, let’s call her “D”, decided to do the “big chop” and go natural. She confessed that, years before we met, she considered going natural, but was reluctant to take that step. And from the moment we started dating, I encouraged her to embrace her natural hair. I’m so glad she finally did.
I am a corporate attorney; and like most black men in Western society, I was socialized by the media to believe that straight hair was the preferential “professional” look of choice for any woman with whom you want to climb that corporate ladder. However, there is no better woman to help me reach the place where God is taking me, professionally or otherwise, than a black woman who is confident—and strong enough to celebrate the natural beauty that she is.
I’ve dated black women with perms and weaves. Without question, these women are also beautiful. But when it comes to a black woman who has made the move to go natural, there is an added beauty, strength and sense of self-awareness that is very sexy and captivating.
For D, going natural has been an outward expression of her inward journey to wholeness and wellbeing. With the New Year and a new beginning, her focus is on wellness—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. She’s watching her diet and exercising regularly. She and I have grown closer spiritually by praying together and fasting the first part of the New Year (at least, she did). Her forward-thinking desire to cleanse her body of all toxins, including those produced by perms, for the sake of her health and the health of unborn children we may have in future makes me even more enamored with her. She has grown as a black woman. I’m enjoying taking this journey with her. Our relationship has been strengthened as a result.
In the words of India Arie, D is not her hair. Of course, she is so much more than that. Even if she were to revert back to the “creamy crack” (which I don’t think she will), she would still be the woman I love. However, her going natural is her journey to become the woman she loves.
To the brothers out there—we have an obligation to love and support our women on any journey they embark upon to improve themselves, even if this means supporting their efforts to go natural. We should also encourage our daughters to embrace their own natural beauty. We need to be mindful of the images we parade—or allow to be paraded in front of them.
I have a beautiful and intelligent six-year old daughter—“Baby girl”. And yes, with thick curly locks, Baby girl is quite tender-headed. I have often wrestled with Mother Africa when doing her hair. Once, it took me an hour and a half to do two Afro-puffs on each side of her head with a straight part down the middle. I struggled to gather her hair and pull it tight enough and bind it with ponytailers I purchased from Wal-Mart. I never got the part quite straight enough.
A few months ago, Baby girl and I watched Chris Rock’s “Good Hair” and discussed the movie at length. The movie was an eye-opener for both of us. I think, after watching the movie, she’s afraid to get a perm. Good! If it were up to me, she would never get a perm. I’ve heard the horror stories of too many black women that have regretted the decision. I encouraged Baby girl to love the beautiful black princess God made her to be and to love the hair God gave her.
I want all the sistahs out there to know that you are absolutely beautiful. Embrace the person God, the Creator, created you to be. God made you with your kinky hair. In His eyes, it’s beautiful. It’s impossible to improve upon His work. In the words of theologian Julius Charles Hare, “Be what you are. This is the first step toward becoming better than you are. ”
