By Abii A. of

I’ve been nat­ur­al now for near­ly 16 months — I big chopped in Jan­u­ary 2010. This is my sec­ond and final time going nat­ur­al. My hair is of 4b/c tex­ture and I love it, absolute­ly love it! I didn’t always, but the fur­ther I get into my jour­ney, the love just grows dai­ly. When I style my hair, peo­ple ask me “How did you get your hair like that?” and “I didn’t know you would be able to do that with your type of hair”. Some­times it hurts when peo­ple close to me make offen­sive remarks about my hair but I have to remem­ber that in a way, in my own lit­tle social cir­cle, I’m a bit of a rev­o­lu­tion­ary. No one, and I mean no one, wears their hair nat­ur­al! And if you do, it’s because you’re mixed race and even then, a weave or a relax­er is prefer­able. I am just talk­ing about my own lit­tle petite social cir­cle, not the world so hold off on any snarky com­ments ;p

The point of my mes­sage is that peo­ple need to start tak­ing respon­si­bil­i­ty for their hair. I’ve realised that a lot of black women just don’t know how to do their own hair, relaxed, nat­ur­al, tex­tur­ized what­ev­er, no-one knows. Aside from the peo­ple who say they would go nat­ur­al but for the “bad or “dif­fi­cult” tex­ture they would have, you also have those who say that they would go nat­ur­al but they don’t know a styl­ist that can do their hair. Or worse, peo­ple who have gone back to relax­ers because either salon main­te­nance got too expen­sive (nat­ur­al tax and all) or they were con­vinced by the hair­dress­er to get a relax­er or tex­tur­iz­er or some­thing.

How hard is it to do your own hair? I’ve even seen posts on this site where peo­ple have writ­ten to say that 4c tex­ture is the most dif­fi­cult. I’m not going to lie and say when I first went nat­ur­al, it was a walk in the park, because it wasn’t. The first time I went nat­ur­al, I want­ed my hair to look like Kelis’ and when it didn’t, I suc­cumbed the relax­er a year lat­er in defeat. But I had false expec­ta­tions of my hair. Now I’m lov­ing the jour­ney of learn­ing new things about my hair. I have real­ized that my hair is nev­er going to look like Kelis’ with­out some form of roller or twists or (God for­bid!) a curly perm! lol But I’m learn­ing what it can do nat­u­ral­ly and with a bit of manip­u­la­tion. I have to put in the time to learn my hair and time is some­thing that is quite pre­cious to me as I work very long hours at my job. How­ev­er, I put in the time any­way.

I wish peo­ple would stop moan­ing about their tex­tures or the lack of styl­ists or what­ev­er and just take the time to learn their hair and take respon­si­bil­i­ty for their own hair. Once we start doing that, the love will begin to devel­op and I hon­est­ly think we will be hap­pi­er peo­ple. God didn’t make a mis­take when he made me with my hair tex­ture. That’s not to say that peo­ple who have relax­ers or tex­tur­iz­ers are reject­ing God — no way! I’m just say­ing that I’ve want­ed to be nat­ur­al for a very long time and I’m not going to let society’s or my own igno­rance in respect of my hair tex­ture stop me from achiev­ing my nat­ur­al goal. I’ve had long healthy relaxed hair and I loved it. Now I’m look­ing for­ward to liv­ing the rest of my life with long healthy nat­ur­al hair. (I like long hair, sue me! haha!)

This is some­thing that has been on my mind for a very long time and I just want­ed to share it.

Thanks for the hon­esty, Abii! What are your thoughts ladies? If you have 4c hair, are you guilty of com­plain­ing at length (vir­tu­al­ly or oth­er­wise) about how dif­fi­cult it is to man­age? And do you think the online nat­ur­al hair com­mu­ni­ty encour­ages “kinky hair com­plain­in’ “? (yeh, I just made that up…)

Abii is the author of Bids in Grace­land

Black Girl With Long Hair

Leila Noel­liste, founder of Black Girl with Long Hair (April 2008). Social media, pop cul­ture and black beau­ty enthu­si­ast. bell hooks’ hair twin…

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156 Comments on "No Whining, No Moaning! Taking Responsibility for 4C Natural Hair"

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i get annoyed with detan­gling some­times, but oth­er­wise i don’t com­plain much about my hair. it’s great show­ing folks that black girls can have healthy long hair :D and with EVERY tex­ture, at that. I have 4a hair and it’s down my back now, this blog­ger has 4c hair and it’s WAY down her back: I do think that sooo many more black women need to learn how to care for their hair, relaxed or nat­ur­al. either learn how to care for it or stop whin­ing and accept what­ev­er it does, but have to pick a side lol. can’t… Read more »

The woman in the youtube video you post­ed has beau­ti­ful hair, but her pro­file says that she has 4a/4b (pre­dom­i­nant­ly 4b) hair, not 4c hair. Although, I have 4c hair and I think that prop­er­ly main­tained 4c hair can be very long when stretched.


4B & 4C are pret­ty much the same. 4C doesn’t real­ly exist.


OK the reply thread is dis­play­ing a bit confusingly…so, just to clar­i­fy, I am respond­ing to “Von­nie.”

I also love watch­ing kim­may­tube on youtube. I know that the most frus­tra­tion that I have ever had with my hair is when I was try­ing to make my hair do some­thing it wouldn’t. I want­ed to make my hair bone-straight like some of the girls who processed the crap out of their hair at my col­lege. But now that I am using pro­tec­tive styles and keep­ing my hair mois­tur­ized, I love my hair more than ever. I agree that the igno­rance that black women have of their hair makes them slaves to the “creamy crack”. I can’t wait until… Read more »

thanks for post­ing. i hadn’t checked out her youtube in awhile. her hair is long!


I have 4b/c hair and I agree detan­gling is a pain. Also I could do with­out the shrink­age but I love my hair and nobody can tell me I don’t have good hair!


yes shrink­age is a pain, but it’s a God­send for my head of hair. It helps me fake full­ness lol. It’s both nice and annoy­ing at the same time :)


Oh my good­ness, I got so excit­ed watch­ing that YouTube video! Her hair looks amaz­ing!


super inspi­ra­tional right!! i loved that video. 

*ps i thought when we put youtube links it shows the video in the com­ments? let me try diff link


you have to put in httpv instead of the reg­u­lar http


Thanks for post­ing her video! I know have a nat­ur­al hair idol.…someone with the same tex­ture as mine. FINALLY!!!!!


I might have to book­mark that, Girl! It’s my inspi­ra­tion now!