I wrote this blog because when I took the bus to class the other day, these two African American girls (probably around 19-21 years old) kept giggling at my hair when I sat down on the bus. This kind of made me mad because their hair was outrageous; strands of blue, ruffled up, super synthetic weave with glue exposed. No edges. Really? I have a healthy head of hair and I had been complimented on my creative hairstyle that whole day, so I was like huh? Anyway, as I got closer to my destination, I heard one of them ask the other, “Why is everyone going natural?” in a negative tone. I just wanted to get up, sit between them and tell them all about this natural movement. I seriously regret that I didn’t say anything!

I’ll take my natural kinks any day over that thin, different lengths having, fried to death tresses, no edges having, permed or jacked up hair that I’ve seen a lot of women rocking all over the place. I am not putting down people with permed hair AT ALL, as it is a preference that should definitely be respected. I’ve seen some very healthy hair that has been processed. I just want to share with you what I’ve seen….a lot. Too many times.

I’ve seen women/young girls with tracks and black glue literally sticking out of their heads. Women/young girls with absolutely NO edges who continue to grease up, spritz up, gel up and brush up what’s left of their hair into a “ponytail” just to attach some synthetic hair that doesn’t even match their hair texture. (Big breath) This was probably the worst case! When I worked in D.C. this summer, I went to Bus Boys and Poets with some friends and a group of young women came in and sat down next to us. They were all dressed very cute and classy and all had sew-ins or some kind of weave. Whatever. Again, that’s their preference and I’m not hating! Though, this one girl really stood out to me because her hairline was significantly way above her eyebrows and this wasn’t natural (i.e.-alopecia or something, I’m sure of it). She had some of the tiniest micro-braids in her hair with a SINGLE lonely one dangling where her hairline used to be. This micro was AT LEAST 3 inches away from where the majority of her hair was. Just keeping it real with you… I wanted to rip it out for the sake of balance on her head and due to the embarrassment I felt for her. My eyes must’ve said it all.

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Ladies, can you relate??

Black Girl With Long Hair

Leila Noelliste, founder of Black Girl with Long Hair (April 2008). Social media, pop culture and black beauty enthusiast. bell hooks' hair twin...

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93 Comments on "Some People Would Rather Look a ‘Hot Mess’ Than Go Natural?"

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jenna marie christian

so sad and true..

but Lawd knows I chuckled so loudly at “SINGLE lonely one dangling where her hairline used to be”.. *wipes tear*


This is unfortunately true. I see soo many girls walking around with horrible weaves just for the sake of having “long” hair or thinning and/or tore up processed hair as oppossed to healthy hair. A relative of mine wears a weaves so dry and matted up that I know she can’t even comb through it but yet looks down on my hair. Ultimately, it’s all about self-perception and many women and men have been taught to value long hair as oppossed to healthy hair.

Your eyes would tear up down here in Fla. at the travesty some of these young girls stick on their heads. As a teen, my hair was uber strong, thick, long. Why these girls are wearing full heads of those lace front wigs & glued in weave is beyond me. The heat factor alone leaves your head sweating and stinking cause they won’t take that ish out and are not allowing their head to breathe. Last year this time I had shaved my hair clean off. It grew back nicely, I nursed it and have it relaxed now and it… Read more »
After being here since 2002, I have learned the weave is a way of life here in Florida…it was worse when I was in school in Tallahassee…Additionally, most times I found stylists who could ONLY do a weave, and encouraged me to get one! It’s understandable because that’s the demand down here, but it was strange to me that so many lacked the skills to work with hair that grew naturally out of someone’s scalp! How can you walk around in a raggedy weave?!? How do you walk around w/ your braids hanging by a strand?!? That standard of beauty… Read more »

LOL….for real.


Yeah, I’m sure a lot of us (not all) can relate to that story. I have someone in my family who will not let go of the relaxers and fake ponytail, despite having bad edges and thinning hair.

I’ve been natural since 2007 and I’m not looking back.

Natural hair is for everyone but it’s not for everyone if you get my drift…


I totally agree.


So odd. I just read this article on, and immediately sent the link to my sister. She loved the article as well. I understand every point the author made. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And I agree with b., having beautiful hair does not require a lot of money or a complicated regimen. In fact, our hair tends to flourish the more we leave it alone and the more consistent we are with whatever regimen we have.


My husband said the same thing recently. I told him it’s a very old fog most of us have been in for a long time.

Some feel that this is what their hair looks like. They honestly have no clue. So smile and give them the benefit of the doubt. They’ll come around eventually, if not then it’s their lost. Don’t go in with guns blazing (hehe) their opinion does not change your hair, so it’s pointless.

Tonya NewNaturalista

“Very old fog” is a great way to put it. This happened to me a while ago while in the grocery store. Two teenage girls were giggling about my hair. One said “OMG she’s got an afro!”

I was a little taken aback and then I remembered what it was like to be a teenager. Anything “different” is funny. They just don’t know anything different than what they’re living right now.

My 2 cents… If someone is too lazy to figure out how to rock a weave correctly, then I don’t hold too much hope for them if they decide to go natural. Why? Because hair care takes effort PERIOD. A person like she described may go from crazy glue weave to dry-looking matted kinks…IF THEY DON’T CHANGE THEIR MINDSET. Plenty of women go from looking jacked up to having a flourishing head of hair, but that only comes when the inner person changes and the person is willing to invest the time to care for their hair correctly. Note, I… Read more »

LOL IMHO there is no way to ‘rock a weave’. Wear your real hair or go home! A person would rather wear fake hair instead of her own needs mental help!

Ariana McDaniel

Of course you have a right to your opinion but I’ve been natural for almost 2 years and I “rock” weaves a lot and so do many other naturals. I am in the military so it presents certain difficulties such as being in the desert and weaves being the best option or lose your hair (natural and processed) to “sanitized” aka overly bleached water. I may need mental help, as do a multitude of other people, but definitely not because I like to wear weaves and braids.

Oh, I so agree. Before I went natural, I would put relaxer in my hair but my hair would look a mess just a week after the process. I definitely did not know how to handle relaxed hair. Surprisingly, this still did not convince me to go natural. I would rather a ridiculous head of hair than go natural. When I finally went natural, I have to admit, my hair was a mess on the daily. I wore scarfs everyday because my hair was so matted. A fro was still not for me but here I was trying to convince… Read more »

I second that emotion… there are always steps us women must take dor us to maintain tangle free growing hair.




True, I think the only women that stay natural are those that are willing to put in the effort because I hardly hardly see a ratchet head of natural hair anymore. I used to before the natural movement though.

And honestly, i wouldn’t be surprised if sometime down the road those 2 young ladies decide to start transitioning to natural hair. It’s happened so many times before LOL…

Amma Mama

LOL at ratchet.


I so agree!! I think when it comes to wearing our natural hair we have to first overcome ourselves. If a person can’t get past old habits, they are sure to be a as hot a mess natural as they were relaxed.

Amma Mama
I feel that the girls on the bus were jealous b.c they’re not confident enough to wear their natural hair. They are ashamed and embarassed by whats underneath their weave. B.c if they weren’t they wouldn’t care about your natural hair. Why else would people be upset about the “natural movement”? If someone thinks its a fad or not a big deal, then don’t do it, wear your hair how you like permed, weaved etc. I never understood why people (men and women) are bothered by the increasing number of women going natural. If its not for you, then cool,… Read more »