Some People Would Rather Look a ‘Hot Mess’ Than Go Natural?


I wrote this blog because when I took the bus to class the other day, these two African American girls (probably around 19-21 years old) kept giggling at my hair when I sat down on the bus. This kind of made me mad because their hair was outrageous; strands of blue, ruffled up, super synthetic weave with glue exposed. No edges. Really? I have a healthy head of hair and I had been complimented on my creative hairstyle that whole day, so I was like huh? Anyway, as I got closer to my destination, I heard one of them ask the other, “Why is everyone going natural?” in a negative tone. I just wanted to get up, sit between them and tell them all about this natural movement. I seriously regret that I didn’t say anything!

I’ll take my natural kinks any day over that thin, different lengths having, fried to death tresses, no edges having, permed or jacked up hair that I’ve seen a lot of women rocking all over the place. I am not putting down people with permed hair AT ALL, as it is a preference that should definitely be respected. I’ve seen some very healthy hair that has been processed. I just want to share with you what I’ve seen….a lot. Too many times.

I’ve seen women/young girls with tracks and black glue literally sticking out of their heads. Women/young girls with absolutely NO edges who continue to grease up, spritz up, gel up and brush up what’s left of their hair into a “ponytail” just to attach some synthetic hair that doesn’t even match their hair texture. (Big breath) This was probably the worst case! When I worked in D.C. this summer, I went to Bus Boys and Poets with some friends and a group of young women came in and sat down next to us. They were all dressed very cute and classy and all had sew-ins or some kind of weave. Whatever. Again, that’s their preference and I’m not hating! Though, this one girl really stood out to me because her hairline was significantly way above her eyebrows and this wasn’t natural (i.e.-alopecia or something, I’m sure of it). She had some of the tiniest micro-braids in her hair with a SINGLE lonely one dangling where her hairline used to be. This micro was AT LEAST 3 inches away from where the majority of her hair was. Just keeping it real with you… I wanted to rip it out for the sake of balance on her head and due to the embarrassment I felt for her. My eyes must’ve said it all.

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Ladies, can you relate??

Black Girl With Long Hair

Black Girl With Long Hair

Leila, founder of Black Girl with Long Hair (April 2008). Social media, pop culture and black beauty enthusiast. bell hooks' hair twin...


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93 thoughts on “Some People Would Rather Look a ‘Hot Mess’ Than Go Natural?

  1. I luv it, why are us black people so damn senstive. I mean goodness be an individual and rock what makes you happy. I just cut of my locks and there were beautiful but guess what I will get a weave maybe a glue in with some tracks becuase that’s what i like. I luv switching it up. That’s beauty of my nappiness. I define who I am none else. I luv it, kinky nappy, curly it’s all the same. Be yourself.


  3. Why does there have to be an element of choosing sides on this. I have totally natural hair. And always had. Even when I was rocking my 20″ remy, underneath laid, protected I might add, my natural hair. I have been sans weave for this year and rocking twists – both natural and with kinky extensions. The best thing is being able to get my hair treated regularly and just run my fingers through my hair. BUT, it doesn’t mean that I see girls wearing weaves as walking car crashes because they have made a choice to not wear their hair natural. And how do you know that their hair, which you cannot see, if not natural? Even girls with ‘natural’ hair often accessorise with hair pieces and the like so where is the distinction between sporting pieces and not. I just feel like whenever I stumble into this type of conversations, it is always an ‘us against them’ mentality. We need more love in relating to one another and the attitude I note is more about segregation. I love the versatility of my hair and I like the freedom of being able to do whatever I please with it period – what matters is that my hair is healthy and it just so happens that I choose to avoid chemicals, in keeping it healthy.

    So, back on point, is this ‘movement’ you speak of about promoting hair that is natural as in chemical free or is it about denigrating weave wearers? Because I am all for the former and so tired of the latter!

  4. Yeah, it is disturbing to see but some women believe that straight is best even to the point where they have no hair at what used to be their hairline left.

  5. Now I know this is an old post, but I have just read it and . . . . .

    Can we please stop calling each other names!! And while some ladies may not have had jacked up hair or whatever, I know a lot of ladies have only become natural in the past 5 years or so – were we not these women a few years back we are not dissing?

    Some women wont be feeling their own or anyone else natural hair yet or for a while, and to be honest they are not supposed to, do you know how much money and energy is pumped into us buying weaves, relaxers etc.

    Lets remember if they are laughing at you because of your hair, imagine what they think of themselves – its quite sad and thats why we should support one another rather than rip each other down.

    Also Ms. Writer :) please do not take any sniggering or negative comments to heart x

  6. I don’t have problem with weave. While I like having natural hair I do have styles I want to do but can’t. Maybe I want a short cut for a bit but don’t want to have my hair short for the time it takes to grow back. Sometime I’d like to have different colors in my hair but I don’t want to bleach and dye my own hair for fear of damage. I guess my point is that if women wear weave from time to time doesn’t mean they’re ashamed of their hair. It’s like wearing makeup in a way nothing wrong with how you look but maybe that day you wanted to try something different.

    I do have a problem with these chicks with the messed up weave. That I think is sad. They pay too much money for bad sew in that will last them 2 weeks because it badly done and they don’t care for it. It maddens me more so that they would talk about someone who took time and care with their own hair when they got weave “because it was easier to care for” but they still don’t care for it. And there should be no talk of everyone going natural because they jumped aboard the weave train when it arrived.

    I don’t feel the need to say anything against anyone in general who has their hair in a particular way. It’s just the thought that someone is so ashamed of what they have naturally that they’d pay for shoddy work that in most cases makes them look a fool. Or for the girls who are constantly gelling up their patchy thin perm damaged hair into a ponytail but say something is wrong natural hair. All in all I feel that it’s not about hair all together just about making sure you’re presentable, feeling good about yourself the way you are, and not being afraid to do whatever type of style speaks to you as a person. Most of all don’t knock someones just because it’s not what you’d do or because it’s popular now; for all you know they could have been the trend starter.

  7. Teen girls tend to be jealous and immature. If not your hair it would be something else they’d snicker about. The majority of sewins I see look horrible. I can see the stitches. I saw this girl on a college dance team flip her hair back a for a move and all of her edges were gone. I felt sorry for her.

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