10 Reasons Your Hair Isn’t Soft

29 January 2012 ~ 20 Comments

Soft, pliable strands aren’t just a hallmark of healthy hair, they also increase ease of styling and handling. But what if soft hair is elusive? Here are 10 reasons why your hair might not be as soft as you like

1. Product Buildup

Because natural hair needs to be moisturized and sealed, it can be very easy to pile product on and go overboard. A dirty, itchy scalp, and strands that that are greasy, waxy, heavy and dull are telltale signs of buildup.

Clarifying rinses and mud washes are a great way to remove buildup from your strands and scalp. Try a rinse with apple cider vinegar, diluted baking soda or Terressentials Pure Earth Hair Wash.

2. You’re not Moisturizing Regularly

Whether it’s daily or every few days natural hair needs to be moisturized regularly — especially if it’s being worn loose (in twistouts, braid outs, fros or puffs). Keep a softening spritz handy, a glycerin
and water mix (which can be made cheaply and easily at home), is a great and effective substitute to store-bought spritzes.

3. Your Products are Too Harsh

Be cautious when dealing with sulfate shampoos and baking soda. If your hair feels ‘squeaky clean’ after using them, it’s a sign that you’ve stripped the cuticle of natural oils, removing lubrication and leaving it susceptible to dryness and breakage. If your cleansers are too harsh, try diluting them in water. And be sure to follow every cleansing with a thorough conditioning to restore your hair’s moisture balance.

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Tags: Soft Hair, Softening Hair

20 Responses to “10 Reasons Your Hair Isn’t Soft”

caribbeancurl 29 January 2012 at 7:00 am Permalink

Hi great article. I think my problem is highly porous hair but the link you provided to learn how to deal with porous hair is not working. If possible can you please rectify Thanks

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- LovelyLauz 2 February 2012 at 7:24 pm Permalink
  
  For porosity, I would suggest a protein treatment. Just mix mayo and honey with a little EVOO, leave on hair for 10 mins and follow up with a CD, should help tremendously. I would do protein twice a month.
  
  Reply
  - caribbeancurl 5 February 2012 at 11:30 am Permalink
    
    CD? what is it? thanks
    
    Reply
    - Star 2 May 2012 at 12:41 pm Permalink
      
      She probably meant to write DC, which stand for “Deep Conditioner.” ;)
      
      Reply
Shak 29 January 2012 at 11:10 am Permalink

Number 8 was my culpit! I could not understand why after a day of my washing and conditioning routine my hair felt so darn dry, but I got it right last week and the difference is 180 degrees from what normally happens. I tell ya, you really do learn something new every day!

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leslie 29 January 2012 at 2:32 pm Permalink

I’m a new natural and i was wondering do seal the ends of a braid-out/twist-out every other night when you re-twist at night? I live in a cold climate and i wear a braidout and every night i re -twist with about 10 braids.

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Eboni 29 January 2012 at 3:09 pm Permalink

I’m definitely going to try some Roux Porosity Control products. Number 7 is my MAIN issue.

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Nisha 29 January 2012 at 6:08 pm Permalink

Water,water, and more water…like everyday. In the shower I don’t wear a cap often and I drink about 5bottles of water a day if not more!!..also I use olive oil( cream) and amp protein gel and for styling I tie my hair up with a silk scarf!

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Sherron 29 January 2012 at 10:27 pm Permalink

My hair has been natural for 8 months. Every morning I spray water on my hair then i put coconut oil on it. My hair is thick & soft & feels moisturized never dry or “hard” Sometimes i put styling gel or Cantu shea butter leave-in conditioning repair cream on my hair. My hair is coily/curly & i think water is the best daily moisturizer 4 natural hair.

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Lantoinette 30 January 2012 at 7:23 am Permalink

I have a question and I hope you ladies can help me out. I’m a newbie with maintain natural hair. This is how I moisturize my hair. I have this mixture which consist of Silk Element conditioner, almond oil, castor oil, lavendar oil and water. I fill a spray bottle with this mixture and spray my hair every morning. If I spray at night I will use a little coconut oil on the ends after I spray. Would this be considered moisturizing my hair? HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!

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- lillian mae 31 January 2012 at 6:42 am Permalink
  
  HI!
  
  Sounds like you are moisturizing. I would add to the list the technique used when you apply your sealant (in your case coconut oil). When you apply it, smoothe it on from the root of the strands downward, to close your cuticles and seal in the moisture. Your hair will be moisturized much longer this way. Adopting this method has made daily moisturizing unnecessay.
  
  Here is how I moisturize my hair:
  http://www.lillian-mae.com/transitioning-guide/sealing-properly-changed-my-life/
  
  Reply
hyspin 30 January 2012 at 8:29 am Permalink

The word “coarse” is one of the words that I refuse to use for describing hair since it implys rough but could used to mean thickness, texture, and sometimes it used to describe all ethnic hair.

It is one of the most ambiguous hair terms.

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kesla 1 February 2012 at 2:45 pm Permalink

pls ladies has anyone tried this kynx hair care products? what do u think am about to invest. thanks for any info i can get.

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kristal 6 February 2012 at 10:35 pm Permalink

i think it means conditioner

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AX Woman 7 February 2012 at 1:47 pm Permalink

Hair softness is not just the state of condition, it’s also a trait. All hairtypes have a proportion of people whose hair is coarse and will never have that soft feel or look.

I do not have soft hair. That’s just not the kind of stuff that grows out of my head, and I have come to embrace my extremely coarse hair shafts for what they are. In comparison they look like tree trunks compare to everyone else’s flower stems. Simplicity works best for me: Keep it clean, stimulate my scalp, spritz hair often (I keep it hidden in braids), and then keep my hands out of it. Grows happily like a weed when I don’t force it to do things it doesn’t want to do.

That being said, most of the stuff that works for 95% of people cannot work for me. Coconut oil, shea butter, jojoba oil, just sit on top of my hair making it waxy and dirty looking, even with heat applied it doesn’t penetrate through. My hair doesn’t like protein since it just makes it even stiffer than it already is. Conditioner is a complete waste of time and money, I just use a catnip tea rinse and go about my business. Moisturizers are good for me, but they don’t make my hair *look* any shinier, nor does it transform into cloudy softness in my hands. I don’t use any heat on my hair right now, however, in the past, high heat was one of those processes that didn’t seem to visibly damage my hair like it did for others. Must be that super thick cuticle… I guess that’s one benefit.

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- caribbeancurl 7 February 2012 at 5:26 pm Permalink
  
  I’m feeling you sista. lol at “super-thick” cuticle. Although proteins make my hair stiff…. i still do it every 6-8 wks or so because the hair needs it (just becasue my 4yr doesn’t like his vegetables doesn’t mean i won’t still give him. its the same way i treat my hair..the protein is good for it every once in a while) i just don’t do it evry week nor do i leave it on for more than 20 mins.
  
  1. Please tell me more about this catnip tea rinse you talk about.
  2. you say moisturizers are good for your hair..what do u use because i was of the opinion that cocnut oil was also a moisturizer (as its small enough to entire hair cuticle)
  
  Reply
BB 14 March 2012 at 3:09 pm Permalink

I am so glad that I had to dig this post and share with you. I finally, finally, found THE product. Aubrey’s honeysuckle rose conditioner.
I’ve been natural for 4 or 5 years now and have nothing to show for it. My hair barely reaches my neck, and that’s just at the back of my head. Now, I knew my hair was growing but it got so tangled at the ends, extremely dry, it would break off like crazy. Water, leave-ins, oils, no heat, apple cider vinegar, no-poo, you name it, I did it all. So I decided to hunt for the right products, whatever the cost. Natural oils are good for me, but I need moisture first. i would try each product at least 4 or 5 times (1 month of washing), just to be sure.
Yesterday, I tried the aubrey conditioner. I’ve never, ever, fell in love so completely with a product. One use and my hair was..;I don’t have words for it. I could actually see the ends of my hair, they were not shrunken into themselves, poor babies.
Ok, I’m raving, I’ll stop here. The bottom line is, if your hair isn’t like you want it to be, or how you know it can be, keep looking for the right product.

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Michelle Morris-Pulliam 15 May 2012 at 9:56 am Permalink

I have been so off my natural hair game. I have to find a good solid and stable conditioner. Something I can do a co-wash with and then one to deep conditon with. I tried using some of the more mainstream items, but you guessed it….DRY….

So, I figure I will do some research and see whats going to be best for my hair type, which i have no clue what that is. After reading about it, I am more confused as ever.

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