10 Reasons Your Hair Isn’t Soft | Black Girl with Long Hair Black Girl with Long Hair | Natural Hair Styles and Natural Hair Care

29 January 2012 ~ 20 Comments

10 Reasons Your Hair Isn’t Soft

4. You’re Blowdrying it Too Much

Blowdrying works by literally drying out/removing moisture from the inside of your strand (the cortex). In the worst case scenario you’re left with dry, weakened and brittle hair. Try using less heat when you blowdry. Remember, natural hair can stretch pretty well using safe levels of heat. The effects of blowdrying on natural hair.

5. Your Hair is Naturally Dry

Highly textured hair is dryer than straight hair since sebum (oil that our scalp secretes) rarely makes it all the way to the tip of our strands. Without being afforded the natural coating/protection of sebum, we have to be proactive about sealing our hair. Make sure that you have a good moisture and seal regimen. It doesn’t have to be elaborate or heavy handed. Just make sure the products you use are effective (moisturizing products should be water-based and sealing products should be oil or butter based), and you are consistent. 8 tips to effectively seal your ends.

6. You’re Mistaking Texture for Roughness

Coarse hair doesn’t mean rough hair. If your hair is coarse (dense, individual thick strands or very highly textured) and you want to test the softness of your strands, find a recently shed hair. It should have good tensile strength (stretching instead of breaking if you pull from both ends) and be smooth and lightly coated without feeling greasy.

7. Your Hair is Highly Porous

Highly porous hair has a hard time retaining moisture because the cuticles are raised or chipped — letting moisture out constantly. If your cuticles are damaged a protein treatment like Aphogee Two-step Treatment Protein for Damaged Hair is in order. If your cuticles are raised because your products are too high in alkalinity (sulfate shampoos, baking soda), try smoothing them down with aloe vera juice
or apple cider vinegar. If your hair is healthy and naturally porous start using porosity controllers like get in the habit of using porosity controllers like Roux Porosity Control.
How to deal with high porosity hair.

8. You’re Confusing Sealing Products with Moisturizing Products

This is a common mistake among newbie naturals, and it can lead to strands that are dry on the inside and coated with product on the outside. Remember, moisturizing products are applied to the strand first and MUST have water as a base ingredient. Sealing products are applied to the hair second and MUST have oil or butter as a base ingredient. Putting a sealing product on an unmoisturized strand won’t do anything to alleviate the dryness. Likewise a moisturizing product applied as a sealant will evaporate. 8 tips to effectively seal your ends.

9. You Have Hard Water

Hard water contains dissolved minerals, like calcium, magnesium and iron, that deposit on top of the hair shaft, hardening it and leading to dryness and breakage. Hard water CANNOT be removed with regular shampoos, you must use a chelating shampoo like Joico K-Pak Clarify Chelating Shampoo,
which binds to the minerals and lifts them from the strands. Also, be sure to buy a water filter or water softener for your shower. Hard water and hair breakage.

10. You Live in a Dry Climate

Moisture in the atmosphere is a key contributor to supple hair. If you live in a dry area, increase the frequency of your moisture/seal routine. Coconut oil, which both coats and penetrates the strand — is a great product to incorporate in your regimen.

Ladies, have you dealt with any of these issues? How do you keep your hair soft?

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20 Responses to “10 Reasons Your Hair Isn’t Soft”

  1. caribbeancurl 29 January 2012 at 7:00 am Permalink

    Hi great article. I think my problem is highly porous hair but the link you provided to learn how to deal with porous hair is not working. If possible can you please rectify Thanks

    • LovelyLauz 2 February 2012 at 7:24 pm Permalink

      For porosity, I would suggest a protein treatment. Just mix mayo and honey with a little EVOO, leave on hair for 10 mins and follow up with a CD, should help tremendously. I would do protein twice a month.

      • caribbeancurl 5 February 2012 at 11:30 am Permalink

        CD? what is it? thanks

        • Star 2 May 2012 at 12:41 pm Permalink

          She probably meant to write DC, which stand for “Deep Conditioner.” ;)

  2. Shak 29 January 2012 at 11:10 am Permalink

    Number 8 was my culpit! I could not understand why after a day of my washing and conditioning routine my hair felt so darn dry, but I got it right last week and the difference is 180 degrees from what normally happens. I tell ya, you really do learn something new every day!

  3. leslie 29 January 2012 at 2:32 pm Permalink

    I’m a new natural and i was wondering do seal the ends of a braid-out/twist-out every other night when you re-twist at night? I live in a cold climate and i wear a braidout and every night i re -twist with about 10 braids.

  4. Eboni 29 January 2012 at 3:09 pm Permalink

    I’m definitely going to try some Roux Porosity Control products. Number 7 is my MAIN issue.

  5. Nisha 29 January 2012 at 6:08 pm Permalink

    Water,water, and more water…like everyday. In the shower I don’t wear a cap often and I drink about 5bottles of water a day if not more!!..also I use olive oil( cream) and amp protein gel and for styling I tie my hair up with a silk scarf!

  6. Sherron 29 January 2012 at 10:27 pm Permalink

    My hair has been natural for 8 months. Every morning I spray water on my hair then i put coconut oil on it. My hair is thick & soft & feels moisturized never dry or “hard” Sometimes i put styling gel or Cantu shea butter leave-in conditioning repair cream on my hair. My hair is coily/curly & i think water is the best daily moisturizer 4 natural hair.

  7. Lantoinette 30 January 2012 at 7:23 am Permalink

    I have a question and I hope you ladies can help me out. I’m a newbie with maintain natural hair. This is how I moisturize my hair. I have this mixture which consist of Silk Element conditioner, almond oil, castor oil, lavendar oil and water. I fill a spray bottle with this mixture and spray my hair every morning. If I spray at night I will use a little coconut oil on the ends after I spray. Would this be considered moisturizing my hair? HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!

    • lillian mae 31 January 2012 at 6:42 am Permalink

      HI!

      Sounds like you are moisturizing. I would add to the list the technique used when you apply your sealant (in your case coconut oil). When you apply it, smoothe it on from the root of the strands downward, to close your cuticles and seal in the moisture. Your hair will be moisturized much longer this way. Adopting this method has made daily moisturizing unnecessay.

      Here is how I moisturize my hair:
      http://www.lillian-mae.com/transitioning-guide/sealing-properly-changed-my-life/

  8. hyspin 30 January 2012 at 8:29 am Permalink

    The word “coarse” is one of the words that I refuse to use for describing hair since it implys rough but could used to mean thickness, texture, and sometimes it used to describe all ethnic hair.

    It is one of the most ambiguous hair terms.

  9. kesla 1 February 2012 at 2:45 pm Permalink

    pls ladies has anyone tried this kynx hair care products? what do u think am about to invest. thanks for any info i can get.

  10. kristal 6 February 2012 at 10:35 pm Permalink

    i think it means conditioner

  11. AX Woman 7 February 2012 at 1:47 pm Permalink

    Hair softness is not just the state of condition, it’s also a trait. All hairtypes have a proportion of people whose hair is coarse and will never have that soft feel or look.

    I do not have soft hair. That’s just not the kind of stuff that grows out of my head, and I have come to embrace my extremely coarse hair shafts for what they are. In comparison they look like tree trunks compare to everyone else’s flower stems. Simplicity works best for me: Keep it clean, stimulate my scalp, spritz hair often (I keep it hidden in braids), and then keep my hands out of it. Grows happily like a weed when I don’t force it to do things it doesn’t want to do.

    That being said, most of the stuff that works for 95% of people cannot work for me. Coconut oil, shea butter, jojoba oil, just sit on top of my hair making it waxy and dirty looking, even with heat applied it doesn’t penetrate through. My hair doesn’t like protein since it just makes it even stiffer than it already is. Conditioner is a complete waste of time and money, I just use a catnip tea rinse and go about my business. Moisturizers are good for me, but they don’t make my hair *look* any shinier, nor does it transform into cloudy softness in my hands. I don’t use any heat on my hair right now, however, in the past, high heat was one of those processes that didn’t seem to visibly damage my hair like it did for others. Must be that super thick cuticle… I guess that’s one benefit.

    • caribbeancurl 7 February 2012 at 5:26 pm Permalink

      I’m feeling you sista. lol at “super-thick” cuticle. Although proteins make my hair stiff…. i still do it every 6-8 wks or so because the hair needs it (just becasue my 4yr doesn’t like his vegetables doesn’t mean i won’t still give him. its the same way i treat my hair..the protein is good for it every once in a while) i just don’t do it evry week nor do i leave it on for more than 20 mins.

      1. Please tell me more about this catnip tea rinse you talk about.
      2. you say moisturizers are good for your hair..what do u use because i was of the opinion that cocnut oil was also a moisturizer (as its small enough to entire hair cuticle)

  12. BB 14 March 2012 at 3:09 pm Permalink

    I am so glad that I had to dig this post and share with you. I finally, finally, found THE product. Aubrey’s honeysuckle rose conditioner.
    I’ve been natural for 4 or 5 years now and have nothing to show for it. My hair barely reaches my neck, and that’s just at the back of my head. Now, I knew my hair was growing but it got so tangled at the ends, extremely dry, it would break off like crazy. Water, leave-ins, oils, no heat, apple cider vinegar, no-poo, you name it, I did it all. So I decided to hunt for the right products, whatever the cost. Natural oils are good for me, but I need moisture first. i would try each product at least 4 or 5 times (1 month of washing), just to be sure.
    Yesterday, I tried the aubrey conditioner. I’ve never, ever, fell in love so completely with a product. One use and my hair was..;I don’t have words for it. I could actually see the ends of my hair, they were not shrunken into themselves, poor babies.
    Ok, I’m raving, I’ll stop here. The bottom line is, if your hair isn’t like you want it to be, or how you know it can be, keep looking for the right product.

  13. Tonie Huddelston 18 March 2012 at 5:17 pm Permalink

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  14. Michelle Morris-Pulliam 15 May 2012 at 9:56 am Permalink

    I have been so off my natural hair game. I have to find a good solid and stable conditioner. Something I can do a co-wash with and then one to deep conditon with. I tried using some of the more mainstream items, but you guessed it….DRY….

    So, I figure I will do some research and see whats going to be best for my hair type, which i have no clue what that is. After reading about it, I am more confused as ever.


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