By The Damn Salon

We fre­quent­ly meet women who find them­selves frus­trat­ed with the arse­nal of prod­ucts they’ve col­lect­ed on their quest for curls. As with most things, The Damn Salon has an opin­ion about this and It is a sim­ple one…

Curls do not come in a jar.

Kinky hair is in and of itself curly. If you have ever exam­ined a “nap” close­ly then you may have already arrived at this con­clu­sion. So, why are black women spend­ing mil­lions of dol­lars annu­al­ly on pud­dings, creams, gels, sprays, and oth­er con­coc­tions that promise what they already have? It is absolute­ly pos­si­ble to find prod­ucts that will tame frizz, or define YOUR nat­ur­al EXISTING curl pat­tern. But you will not find springy spi­rals in a jar, if you nev­er had them to begin with, my dear.

Don’t fight nature, embrace it. Haute hair, begins with healthy hair. So, mois­tur­ize, mois­tur­ize, mois­tur­ize! Trim every 3 months. Choose pro­tec­tive styles when­ev­er pos­si­ble. Avoid heat like the plague. Once you have mas­tered these prin­ci­ples, explore styling options that work with your nat­ur­al curl pat­tern. If your hair is very kinky, roll with it…literally. Styles like fin­ger twists and comb twists will pro­duce awe­some last­ing tex­ture with ease. These styles also tend to look bet­ter as they age. Gen­tly sep­a­rate the twist after a few days for greater vol­ume and vari­ety.

If you have a loos­er curl pat­tern the tried and true two strand twist will elon­gate and uni­fy your curls. The springy corkscrews can be worn for up to two weeks, depend­ing on their size. Larg­er twists will show their age a lit­tle faster. Use a light oil, like The Damn Salon’s Pep­per­mint and Tea Tree Hair Oil, when doing your twist out. You should enjoy nat­ur­al spi­rals that age beau­ti­ful­ly. If you have wavy hair, try Ban­tu knots. The knots alone are Avante Garde and exot­ic. When twist­ed out they will pro­vide you with big bold waves. Think old Hol­ly­wood Glam.

I real­ly love the mes­sage of this piece! Ladies, what do you think?

Find The Damn Salon on Face­book here.

Black Girl With Long Hair

Leila Noel­liste, founder of Black Girl with Long Hair (April 2008). Social media, pop cul­ture and black beau­ty enthu­si­ast. bell hooks’ hair twin…

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148 Comments on "Curls Don’t Come in a Jar…"

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My hair used to have a curl pat­tern when it was vir­gin — the front and back were 4a and the crown was 4b. It was very tight and springy, like a rub­ber band. After I mois­tur­ized it (after wash­ing) it was eas­i­er to man­age. Now, after years of flat iron­ing and hair dye, my curl pat­tern has van­ished. So, it’s just a ball of puff and when I mois­tur­ize it — it’s just wavy. So, it think the best way to tell what hair type one has is on vir­gin hair.

Aliyah Morrison

I have a s curl pat­tern but it’s tight curls and I have two dif­fer­ent curl pat­terns . Right now I have my hair in a pro­tec­tive style corn­rows .

For me, curls do come in a jar. I have 4c hair. With­out prod­uct, my hair dries frizzy and tight with no dis­cernible curl pat­tern. To get curls, I co-wash, apply a lit­tle almond or avo­ca­do oil close to the scalp, use reg­u­lar con­di­tion­er mixed with a bit of cas­tor oil as my leave-in, and Wet­line Xtreme gel. After lay­er­ing on the prod­ucts, I rake my fin­gers through man­age­able sec­tions (adding more water if I need more slip). Pow! Curls pop­ping out all over. THE WETLINE XTREME GEL IS THE KEY. I get cute lit­tle spi­rals and very lit­tle frizz… Read more »
Annastacia Goodbeer

Sounds like you have 4b hair not 4c hair.

My hair is 4C and can be dry as heck. So I do mois­tur­ize quite bit. For those who just big chop­pd, I too was sad as hell because I had zero curls. How­ev­er, with my type hair I learned that I have to manip­u­late my naps for style. I stayed away from all the EXPENSIVE prod­ucts and tried a store brand curl creme, and smooth shine con­di­tion­ing gel w/jojoba and olive oil, a palm rub around my head and.….BOOM!!! Naps with shine and def­i­n­i­tion. I loved it! How­ev­er as my hair grew I had to change prod­ucts but I… Read more »

My hair has no curl pat­tern either so I imbrace my fri and I luv it its mine in not waist­ing my mon­ey on those prod­ucts sor­ry Chi­nese and white men won’t get to much of my mon­ey
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Arlinda Brown

I too have a diag­no­sis of nat­ur­al hair with no curl pat­tern. What do you do with hair don’t won’t curl?


The arti­cle tells you how to achieve a curl pat­tern… it can be time con­sum­ing com­pared to those who can do a wash and go but results are well worth it!!!


why the need for a “curl”?

Interracial Dating Websites

Very nice post. I sim­ply stum­bled upon your weblog and wished to say that I have real­ly enjoyed brows­ing your weblog posts. In any case I’ll be sub­scrib­ing on your feed and I’m hop­ing you write once more soon!


I did my BC about a month ago and I hate it!! I have no curls in my hair what­so­ev­er. Mi tried every­thing. I’m hop­ing this wil change, I refuse to give up!
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You just big chopped so your curl pat­tern may show after more growth. Also like they said in the arti­cle mois­tur­ize, mois­tur­ize, mois­tur­ize.


You look love­ly!


Well I have changed since the last time I com­ment­ed. I am doing wash and loc method, no braid­ing or twist­ing. My hair is suf­fer­ing mas­sive break­age.

I like the arti­cle and must admit that ini­tial­ly I was con­fused about my hair type when I went nat­ur­al a few years ago. I haven’t had a relax­er on my hair in about 6 years…no heat in the last 3 and no braids in the past 1 1/5 years.  I have nat­u­ral­ly kinky coily hair. And peo­ple stop me to get the name(s) of the prod­ucts that I use. Their usu­al­ly dis­ap­point­ed because I don’t use any of the high­ly mar­ket­ed prod­ucts. My goal is to strength­en, mois­tur­ize and grow my kinky coily hair. Every now and then I try… Read more »
Great arti­cle! And so impor­tant to say & keep say­ing, because the nev­erend­ing chase to achieve the unachiev­able has dis­cour­aged many a per­son & kept them from embrac­ing & appre­ci­at­ing what­ev­er tex­ture they nat­u­ral­ly pos­sess! I try to tell this advice to so of my friends/associates who are either new­ly nat­ur­al or tran­si­tion­ing or think­ing of going nat­ur­al. There is no “per­fect” curl pat­tern! Please don’t start off with that crap in mind or you will be sore­ly dis­ap­point­ed! And yes! A LOT, not all, but a damn big per­cent­age of Black women with nat­u­rals are on a nev­erend­ing quest… Read more »

I’ve been over Miss Jessies since I saw how they encour­age their clients to get tex­tur­iz­ers. Stuff cost too much any­way.


nev­er real­ly went look­ing for curls. because they’re just not there. one of the lim­i­ta­tions of my hair. it can do a whole of oth­er cool stuff though.


length though. whoooooo i go mad for it o_0


This was nev­er my con­cern I like the nap­py look of my hair i just wish i did­nt have the tan­gling and the break­age. I think more nat­u­rals with 4xyz are more con­cerned with length more so than the tex­ture.


I agree about desir­ing length too.Shrinkage real­ly is a BEAST so it feel slike your hair isn’;t grow­ing until you stretch it. :-)


I must be one of a few nat­u­rals who was nev­er in search of curls…too much to detan­gle.
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you bet­ta WERQ! yasssss. I love this so much. Vol­ume, thick­ness, that scarf. serv­ing up some unde­fined real­ness up in her­rr

ahem. any­ways, I do see so many women fiend­ing (?) for the per­fect C curl. Not to loose, not too tight. Let’s stop play­ing goldiLOCS and the 3 tex­tures and embrace what we have. The mar­ket­ing for miss jessie’s is dis­gust­ing and the whole Mixed Chicks label irri­tates me based on the name alone. Give kinks a chance!

Wow, this is a real­ly con­ver­sa­tion and my feel­ings and sen­ti­ments have been all over this board. I have been nat­ur­al since 2004 and I have done many styles, from fros to twists to curly weaves. Some points I def­i­nite­ly agree with: 1. A lot (not all) of peo­ple real­ly do envy the curly nat­u­rals. I have a friend who I con­sid­er to have LOVELY nat­ur­al hair…but because her hair isnt that wash-n-go curly Tracee Ellis Ross hair–she does­nt think it is good enough. My hair is a 4b/4c, so I know my hair will nev­er be curly, but I appre­ci­ate… Read more »

would they say the same thing if you sport­ed an unde­fined fro (still styled and well tak­en care of though)?

My hair has a big, less defined state which I love, but get­ting that kind of vol­ume with­out dam­ag­ing my hair seems impos­si­ble. I will con­tin­ue try­ing things here and there, because I love big hair, and my hair has a sur­pris­ing amount of vol­ume with­out all the prod­ucts. I have shared dif­fer­ent things but in the end my hair did not like it. The only thing I can think if is that now that I am doing a low po hair reg­i­men maybe I could try doing a heat dc first and then warm­ing up a light leave-in like… Read more »

I can tell you are gor­geous and your hair is fab!

Crystal Waters

Most are paid adver­tis­ers. Nikki­Mae2003 aka Nat­u­ralChi­ca has been a paid adver­tis­er, start­ing with Miss Jessie’s Prod­ucts, since the begin­ning of her shar­ing her jour­ney. Be mind­ful that there are some that are paid adver­tis­ers and oth­ers who are shar­ing their jour­ney, there is a dif­fer­ence.


On this same top­ic I am offi­cial­ly over the new phe­nom of “the curly girl method” Nat­u­rals are becom­ing PJ all over again to acheive this look that all the YT Gurus are push­ing out there.. for mar­ket­ing and pay out most like­ly!

Yes yes yes! I have long, long nat­ur­al hair and I tried for­ev­er to get curly girl hair like waterlily or sun kiss alba. I began to real­ize that with my length and tex­ture com­bo, it just can’t hap­pen. Their hair might be long but mine is longer and some frizz just nat­u­ral­ly comes with length. Rather than fight it, I have found ways that I dis­cuss on my chan­nel that help me bring out the best in my hair. As far as meth­ods go, some­thing can be tak­en from all of them, but fol­low­ing them to the let­ter, it… Read more »

Actu­al­ly of all the nat­ur­al hair trends, the curly girl method is the one I like although I haven’t tried it yet. The prob­lem is a lot of those on YT have not read the book and are just doing too much. It is a very sim­ple method that I may start using in the future. You sim­ply wash the hair, con­di­tion, leave some con­di­tion­er in the hair, add some gel and you are good to go with very lit­tle manip­u­la­tion to the hair.

Being nat­u­ral­tomemeans hair eductaion.Unlearning all iknow and start­ing with a blank can­vas. :) The more more nat­u­rals the more info so that can ONLY be a good thing. We should focus on what unites not divide. I have kinky dry curls and my wash n go’s are sim­ple they take 5- 10 mins.All i do is apply cond­tion­er and rake through in sec­tions and let it air dry! No all day mad­ness and no diffuser.I sim­ply like leav­ing my hair as it is curl or not with cond­tion­er to mois­tures and i am happy.As my hair is dry i cant’ do… Read more »

I’m not going to crit­i­cize oth­ers for try­ing to obtain a cer­tain look. The may not get what they’re look­ing for, but at least they’ve giv­en up the creamy crack. One step in the right direc­tion. All this talk about obtain­ing length and def­i­n­i­tion is the new relax­er is ridicu­lous and dis­cour­ag­ing to poten­tial nat­ties.

There will always be women of any race who do not like what they have or were born with. Nat­ur­al haired Black women are not immune to that nor are we more filled with self hate and a dis­dain for the ‘nap­py’ than any­one else. No doubt, some of us do hold cer­tain hair­types in greater esteem than our own. That doesn’t mean that we ALL do, should we desire to try out dif­fer­ent types of hair prod­ucts. In oth­er words, we are not all doing so because we want hair like “fill in the blank with name of your hair… Read more »

Zenith, I’m total­ly feel­in’ you!


Thanks again Anas­ta­sia!

I fol­low every­one, I don’t dis­crim­i­nate on hair tex­ture because I have learned from all of the lady’s and I admire the time they all put into the prod­uct reviews and mak­ing videos regard­less of tex­ture. Plus, I have 3c/4a/4B hair so for me,it’s help­ful to see them all. How­ev­er, tell that to Carol’s daugh­ter who chose Taren an Elle of all the blog­gers and vlog­gers on youtube, to rep­re­sent nat­ur­al hair, which I am total­ly hap­py for them, but they both have very nice hair, and from oth­er com­menters I read all the time who bring up the same… Read more »

I thought Solange Knowles (a beau­ti­ful woman with ful­ly lus­cious Type 4 hair) was the fea­tured spokesmod­el for Carol’s Daugh­ter. I didn’t real­ize that Lisa Price had changed her mar­ket­ing cam­paign and placed the above men­tioned ladies as the the fea­tured spokesmod­el. They are cer­tain­ly beau­ti­ful too and have love­ly hair. Lisa her­self has a loos­er tex­tured curl and I won­der if she feels par­tial to nat­u­rals whose hair more close­ly resem­bles her own.


Becky I total­ly agree, lets not get this twist­ed this curl def­i­n­i­tion debate goes back to what is deemed as GOOD HAIR…PERIOD!

Becky T
I am call­ing BullSh*t on this because the black nat­ur­al hair com­mu­ni­ty tends to focus on women with bira­cial or nat­ur­al curly hair! So don’t be sur­prised if that is what most women going nat­ur­al is look­ing for, THAT LOOK! And yes, they actu­al­ly try to get curls in a bot­tle, which is the name of an actu­al prod­uct by the way! I can hon­est­ly say as a 36 year old woman, that is all I see on most nat­ur­al webites is good hair, even most of our nat­ur­al hair icons as some­one stat­ed, den­impix­ie (Elle), curly Nik­ki, etc, have… Read more »

So true. it’s not self hat when I say that I wish my hair were eas­i­er to man­age. it just means I wish my hair were eas­i­er to man­age.


Thought i was the only per­son who noticed that!! bira­cial; hair craze


if you do noth­ing to com­bat that sort of inse­cure think­ing, that’s when the sto­ry becomes real sad because you will pass your mind­set to the future gen­er­a­tions of your fam­i­ly.


sad situatuion,but I have to agree…most of the nat­ur­al hair icons as well as the pic­tures post­ed on nat­ur­al hair site show­case “good hair” and they are the ones who get the best reac­tions.


:/ ummm.




That’s *real talk*!

One of the things I love abour being nat­ur­al is the ver­si­til­i­ty that it pro­vides. I don’t think there is any­thing wrong with want­i­ng curl def­i­n­i­tion, but I do agree that you have to be real­is­tic about what your hiar cn do on its own. A woman with nat­ur­al hair doing soemthing to enhance her curls or cre­ate a dif­fer­ent curl/wave effect is no dif­fer­ent than a woman with a relax­er doing a roller set. Its sim­ply anoth­er style option in my opin­ion. For exam­ple, I love Trece Ellis Ross’s hair. I know my hair won’t do that, but I… Read more »
I like the intent of this arti­cle- to encour­age accep­tance of your own hair­type. I am hap­py to see more ladies being will­ing to grow their hair out in it’s nat­ur­al state. I think the prod­uct explo­sion is due to the new­ness of it all and folks want to finan­cial­ly cap­i­tal­ize on it. It is nat­ur­al that a cer­tain amount of exper­i­men­ta­tion occur. I went nat­ur­al 12 yrs ago and I remem­ber buy­ing tons of stuff at the time-just to exper­i­ment and see how a giv­en prod­uct prod­uct made my hair feel- not to change my tex­ture. I think we often… Read more »

mwant to say’ watch­ing our self-esteem grow’.

When I went nat­ur­al in 1995 the only thing I knew for sure about my hair was that it would be NAPPY with a cap­i­tal NAPPY. :) I fig­ured (per­fect­ly rea­son­ably, I might add) that if I’d had any oth­er tex­ture I wouldn’t have got­ten a relax­er in the first place. Unlike some women who’ve been relaxed since tod­dler­hood, I didn’t get my first real relax­er until I was 12, so I knew what I had AND I knew it wasn’t like my class­mates’ loos­er-tex­tured hair. Turns out I was right…sort of. I still have yet to be accused of being… Read more »
Thank you for this post. I wish it was post­ed many years ago. I am over the peo­ple with the so call wash n go styles that takes hours for them to prep and tons of prod­uct. I have nev­er been that woman.. my hair is kinky and I love it — it is mines and it is unique. Be who you are and stop try­ing to be some­thing that you are not. Like wit relax­ers we want that Euro­pean flare with this “curly hair” look we want the so called exot­ic look — Brazi­lan, Span­ish mixed so forth and… Read more »

Omg you are so right on! My hair is too long for per­fect curls, it wouldn’t have enough life and body! I know I have the option on occa­sion to gunk my hair down with prod­ucts, maybe for a cer­tain look or updo. But on a reg­u­lar basis I love big hair that is ade­quate­ly mois­tur­ized of course to pre­vent break­age.


This jour­ney is about self dicov­ery and accep­tance. The more we are at peace with our­selves, we can learn to be accept­ing of oth­ers. Afro hair is beau­ti­ful in all its tex­tures. In the process we will exper­i­ment with prod­ucts, but ulti­mate­ly main­tain­ing healthy hair is what’s impor­tant.


Inter­est­ing the pho­to, with this sto­ry was here yes­ter­day has been replaced!?!?!


Yep, the pho­to has been replaced!


As long as we are pro­gress­ing from perming and fry­ing our hair then I don’t real­ly care. Gen­er­al­ly as women, we like to wear and exper­i­ment with dif­fer­ent hair styles. Even women with loos­er curls wear twist- or braid-outs! My hair is more wavy than curly and I don’t like that my hair looks soo thin and limp so I’ll do a twist- or braid-out to give my hair a more thick and tex­tured look. On the oth­er hand, my sis­ter has curly-kinky hair and she choos­es to wear twist- outs to avoid tan­gling.


True! I wear twist outs to avoid singe strand knots and keep my hair tan­gle free-that is the pri­ma­ry rea­son. It has noth­ing to do with try­ing to “fake the funk” or enhance my curl pat­tern.


Me, too! It’s main­te­nance for me.

Why aren’t twist outs con­sid­ered as cre­at­ing curl def­i­n­i­tion? I admit I am a lit­tle obsessed with curl def­i­n­i­tion because as much as I mois­tur­ize my hair just soaks it up and stays dry. Those thick pud­dings work great on my hair because it stays soft longer. When I don’t use any of those prod­ucts or twist outs I can bare­ly part my hair while dry or even put it in a pony­tail with­out spray­ing it first and I have loose 3b/3c curls. I’m def­i­nite­ly not ashamed of want­i­ng them to be defined instead of being clumped because frankly I… Read more »

I think twist outs ARE con­sid­ered curl def­i­n­i­tion. I’m per­son­al­ly not a fan of twist outs, braid outs, or any oth­er outs. I think it’s too much of a manip­u­la­tion to the curl’s basi­cal­ly fak­ing the funk in my opin­ion.

You are enti­tled to your opin­ion but like I said in my case not every­one can do wash and gos. Its very hard hav­ing to “wash” my hair every­day instead I do twist outs so I can just retwist at night. I’m not fak­ing any­thing except the fact my hair is very nor­mal­ly dry and tan­gles eas­i­ly and twist outs help me me retain mois­ture longer through­out the day. Its less about the look/pattern for me because I place ran­dom uneven ones all over and more about main­te­nance. & I say I’m obsessed with my hair hav­ing def­i­n­i­tion because I… Read more »
In my opin­ion wash and go’s are not great for length reten­tion because your hair can gain a lot of split ends and sin­gle strand knots as it dries. For me they don’t real­ly work. I would have to plop my hair for it to come out decent­ly. I could nev­er lit­er­al­ly just wash and go, my hair would be unbe­liev­ably frizzy. But what I like to do is just a sim­ple two French braids and then when my hair is dry I put water on the ends and comb it out dry. I per­son­al­ly pre­fer to wear it big… Read more »
i con­sid­er twist outs tex­ture definition…i think it’s to also escape unde­fined and/or frizzy hair like peo­ple like to do with curl def­i­n­i­tion. There are ALOT of nat­u­rals that don’t see unde­fined hair as a viable style to walk out­side the house with. To many I know, it’s “unkempt” hair. This also goes for women with loos­er curls because some have frizzy poofy hair with­out the aid of some con­di­tion­er or gel.  There’s no strong social move­ment or fash­ion trend defin­ing nat­ur­al hair like in the 70’s so we are see­ing how women tru­ly view their hair. (not just talk­ing about… Read more »

I feel sim­i­lar when I see twist outs on girls with kinki­er hair. Their big and wavy twist outs always looked bet­ter to me then my flat stretched out curls. I don’t like my twist out until the sec­ond day, and now only use twist outs to do a stretched out style. I think some­times we think the grass is green­er on the oth­er side. What helped me was look­ing at hair blogs from peo­ple with my hair tex­ture, so I could be more com­fort­able with my tex­ture.


i thought this site is called black girl with long hair. its noth­ing but so-called nat­ur­al hair. hon­est­ly if your hair is yours its nat­ur­al any­way. embrac­ing all hair.


Umm yeah! Buy­ing hair would (tech­ni­cal­ly) make it nat­u­ral­ly yours too, but lend­ing sup­port to peo­ple who sole­ly rely on arti­fi­cial hair is not the pur­pose of this site either.

This site is geared towards black women who choose not to process their hair with chem­i­cals that per­ma­nent­ly change the tex­ture. For now, this has been termed ‘nat­ur­al’. The site does not act as a source of deri­sion for ladies who make a dif­fer­ent choice, but as a source of sup­port. I believe it’s pos­si­ble to embrace all hair and lend sup­port to a sub­set at the same time.


Zenith wrote:

“This site is geared towards black women who choose not to process their hair with chem­i­cals that per­ma­nent­ly change the tex­ture. For now, this has been termed ‘nat­ur­al’. The site does not act as a source of deri­sion for ladies who make a dif­fer­ent choice, but as a source of sup­port. I believe it’s pos­si­ble to embrace all hair and lend sup­port to a sub­set at the same time.” 

AWESOME and well-said!!!


Thank you Anas­ta­sia!


Are you upset because they are geared towards nat­ur­al hair? & I’m pret­ty sure one of the cap­tions of the web­site is Black Girl Long Hair: Cel­e­brat­ing the dope­ness of nat­ur­al hair. o_O

Uhm, wow yea guys that was ran­dom and made me bust out laugh­ing! But I agree it was a pret­ty good read- how­ev­er I feel that to each is own. Peo­ple will always be ‘obsessed’ with some­thing that they may not have had but attempt to get it by any means. There are some peo­ple who come from a fam­i­ly of over­weight peo­ple but work their buts off to get in shape. I don’t see any­thing wrong with attempt­ing to define your curls, but there is a time to real­ize that some options may not work best for your hair.… Read more »

That was ran­dom. Lol


LOL!!! Ran­dom- My thoughts exact­ly!

Hmmm…the poster’s mes­sage reads as if she’s angry. It’s ok, really…it will be alright what­ev­er you choose to do with your hair and if not, you’ll dis­cov­er some­thing that does work for you.

Do what makes you hap­py with your own hair. “Noone can make you feel bad about your­self with­out your premission”-one of my favorite quotes. If curl creams work for you and you like the look-do you. I use them some­times and some­times I don’t. Some work bet­ter than oth­ers for me. I like to try dif­fer­ent looks. I have been hav­ing a ball with my hair since I stopped relax­ing it! I love the two-strand twist-I wear them in and I like them loose a few days lat­er. I like the fro-look. Not every­one who uses prod­ucts is try­ing to… Read more »
+1. I sim­ply love the ver­sa­til­i­ty of nat­ur­al hair and refuse to lim­it myself based on the views of oth­ers. I will not be policed by either relaxed hair or nat­ur­al hair folks. I love wash and gos, afro puffs, curly afros, flat twists, corn­rows, etc. I use curl creams and gels because I like to enhance my curls at times. While oth­er times, I just use nat­ur­al oils and/or a leave-in when I am seek­ing a less defined look. Every now and then (a few times a year) I flat iron my hair for a dif­fer­ent look. I do… Read more »
Samantha WH

Thanks for the arti­cle. I have tried NUMEROUS time to tell women that they cant get a prod­uct that will give them some­thing they do not already have. the prod­uct will only enhance, not transform…unless of course, it is a RELAXER or COLOR.


I think until kinky curly hair is por­trayed in the media and blogs just as reg­u­lar­ly and com­pli­ment­ed just as much as corkscrew and wavy hair, women will turn to “curls in a jar” as a means of achiev­ing what is per­ceived as the stan­dard of beau­ty for nat­ur­al hair.

I actu­al­ly don’t like the look of defined curls on myself. :/ I have medi­um sized curls and in the begin­ning I bought some eco-styler gel because I saw some­one with my hair tex­ture use it and have defined hair. Their hair was real­ly long, so it looked real­ly nice on them. My hair was short and when it dried, it was even short­er and I hat­ed it. I have nev­er tried to define my curls as a style again even though my hair is longer. It may just be my per­son­al­i­ty, but I like when my hair is big… Read more »

Good post, how­ev­er just today I answered an email of how I get my hair curly. I got the “do you add oil” to make it curly? And if I see anoth­er “curl creme” or “Curly pud­ding” I“m going to *well, do noth­ing actually…lol*. But, it’s stil dis­cour­ag­ing to see so many women who think that every one’s hair is extrem­ly curly like Tracey Ellis Ross…


Yea, I gave up on get­ting my hair to do any­thing it doesn’t want to do. Twists and twist outs don’t work for me. Accept your hair and work with what you have.


i like using the tight­ly curly method. it’s worked on my hair like a charm! hope­ful­ly i can get the curls to last intact for up to two weeks because i’m try­ing to find a way of com­bat­ing manip­u­la­tion and the need to detan­gle.


I nev­er knew I had cork-screw curls and waves until I stopped relax­ing. NO PRODUCT WILL CREATE CURLS,WAVES, & COILYS!!
This goes back to that good hair debate, every­one is look­ing for that old fash­ion curly air referred to as good hair!!


I agree with this entire post! lol



Peo­ple are like this with a lot of things. We see oth­er folks with…curly hair, the newest fash­ion, the best cars..and we want it too. I still have jars of gel in my bath­room from the days when I tried to do wash n gos — want­i­ng to have that per­fect curl. I real­ized my hair wasn’t hav­ing it! It took a long jour­ney to get to this place. But, it was a won­der­ful jour­ney to have, since I learned about my hair in the process. I mois­tur­ize (not often enough), go longer than 3 months between trims, and rarely… Read more »