By Jc of The Natural Haven Bloom
Long natural hair is not something that happens quickly, it will take between 3 to 5 years to have that much desired hair down your back. If you are just starting your journey or if you have made some mistakes and wish to redirect your energy into results, here are some of the small but highly significant steps that will mark that you are on the right path.
1. No pain when handling your hair
As a child I learned to grit my teeth and bear the pain as my hair was combed with a fine toothed comb. My hair also did not gain length and often post combing it was easy to see why – huge hair balls always followed. It still remains very common to hear the word tender-headed especially in salons when in truth hair is being ripped out and hence the reason for the pain. You are making significant progress when you get to a point where you no longer associate pain with the detangling process. Some people do experience a general tenderness (dull ache/soreness) associated with combing and this is related to the fact that they are more sensitive to even gentle tugging, however pain should never be the result of combing.
2. No hair on the floor
The less the hair you see on the floor or on your clothes when combing, the better. Ideally you should only see hair in the tool that you use to detangle (so if you are finger combing, shed hair will be unravelled with your fingers or if you are combing with a brush/comb then the shed hair should be trapped with the comb). If you have a good method of combing that suits your hair texture then you will be able to greatly minimise breakage.
3. You are patient
Patience is a big part of handling natural hair. It is required in every aspect from the shorter periods of detangling and styling to the long term period of growth and retention where you have to give your hair enough time in appropriate styles to gain length. The moment when you realise that your hair cannot be hurried, the easier you will find it handle as futile attempts will be eliminated. For example, you can easily style your hair in 5-10 minutes but patience dictates that you must select what works best for your hair. It is easy enough to make a quick bun on dry hair but this will not work when hair is wet for someone with high shrinkage. In that case, it may be easier to place 5-6 twists on wet hair and pin them up into a style. Later when your hair is dry, you can style as you please.
4. You accept that your hair cannot do everything
Natural hair is versatile and in general can be styled in almost any way. However, not all hair can do everything well. Some people can wash their hair every day and it will look perfect. Other people simply cannot do the same as their scalp may become progressively drier or if their hair is longer, daily washing is unsuitable as it increases tangling. Some people can safely heat style their hair but others cannot. If your hair feels brittle or breaks after even a low heat blow dry, you may have to accept heat is not for you. Some people can sit in protective styles for months while others would either get hair unravelling or matting if they attempted to do the same. You have to do what works for you.
5. Your product hunt is over
You need to experiment with products to find which ones best suit your hair. There does come a point though when you eventually find your favourites. You can purchase other products because you want to try them out but it is out of curiosity and not out of necessity. You know what works for you and for what reason. For example if your hair feels particularly dry, you know which conditioner to pick out of your arsenal and how long to leave it on your hair for best results. If you need to add oil to your hair, you know which one or which combination to use and how often. You know that products will not grow your hair but rather help it to stay in good condition (i.e take care of the cuticle and maintain moisture).
Ladies, how can you tell that your hair is thriving?
This is reassurance for me that I am doing the right thing. I transitioned for a year, then did my chop in April of this year. I am loving my hair more and more each day. The only problem I have is major shrinkage. Twist outs will give me a little stretch for about an hour or two, then my hair completely ignore the twist and curl back up in my small, springy, tight coils. Not that I don’t love them, but I want to show people that I have a little hang time too sometimes : )
I never did a BC. I transitioned from 2 years of Just For Me Texture Softener. I’m still in the really bad habit of blow drying and flat ironing somewhat straight, because, to be honest, I love the straighter look. But the whole reason why i went natural was to be able to retain some length and repair my chronically straw-like, sandy hair. No matter what products I have ever used in my 27 years of life, My ends have always remained extremely brittle and I have never had any length past just grazing the top of my shoulders in the very back ( naturally a layered look on the top part of my head due to breakage in the crown.
I’ve been reading blogs, but have zero idea of what to use, what to do personally for my 4a/b hair. I co-wash, deep condition 1x or 2x/ wk. I use Jamaican Black Castor oil and lots of coconut oil as well as EVOO. I stay away from alcohol-based products, mineral oils, and lanolin. I trim. I;m a vegetarian, but get my protein. I wrap it with a satin scarf…… I don’t necessarily want to wear an afro and I LOVE the feeling of brushing and combing my hair/scalp, but I’m coming to terms with what my natural hair may be able to do. I’d love to be able to wear some curlier styles when/if my hair would ever grow.
I keep hearing everyone mention their APL and BSL hair and, even though I know it takes lots of time and care and patience, I feel like that would never be a reality for me. I have no idea what I’m doing!!!!! I don’t even know where to start. :<
I was in the same boat!! My hair was always brittle and dry. I know it may be scary…but one of the best things you can do for your hair until you get it back on track is to lay off the heat. Seriously… Blow drying and flat ironing your hair weekly, without it starting in a healthy condition, is drying and frying it! You are not really giving your hair the opportunity it needs to get healthy. I would suggest, if you MUST have straight hair, to do a full sew-in. Go to a professional, do not get your braids too tight, and try not leave any hair out. Continue doing your wash and moisturizing regimen. Keep this up for six months and I can promise you that you will see a difference. If you cant do a sew-in, keep the heat off and do twist outs, bantu knots, wash and go’s, etc. If you MUST use heat…wash your hair, apply grapeseed oil (natural heat protectant), let your hair air dry or do another heat free drying method… then flat iron your hair on a low setting. Also, make sure you have a quality flat iron… Best of luck!
Read the book the science of black hair by Audrey davis-sivasothy she provides extensive guidelines on how to grow out hair…and she also illustrates and explains what can damage our hair which results to the hair not growing or retaining length. I was in the same situation as you then my sis told me to read this book and since then been enjoying my hair journey.
Hi,
I wanted to encourage you to not give up on your hair. I think the first step is to “come to terms with what your natural hair may be able to do” and from there start wearing your hair in those “curlier styles” now as opposed to waiting for your “hair to grow”. By wearing your hair curly, you will get used to seeing yourself with a new style and you will begin to like it.
One thing I’d suggest is doing the porosity test. That helped me to determine why certain things worked and others didn’t for my 4a/b hair. I’d go from there.
http://www.lillian-mae.com/natural-hair-essentials/porosity-density-elasticity-tests/
Thread makes me sad. I tried loose for 8 years only to get the back of my hair to barely graze my shoulders. STill I cut it a few times because of split ends etc, but after 8 years of trial and error I gave up on long loose hair.
well i work over seas and my hair is really bad i tryed to were a afro but the water over here is really drying it out .i have been doing braids .so i think that this is also messing my hair . i have very soft hair so can you help me with this problem please .
I am curious to where you are working overseas. When I was in Austria, my hair was in bad shape because of the hair dye I used. Yet, the Summer in Salzburg helped my hair because of the humidity. If you are suffering with dryness, try using some hair conditioner mixed with some water that you have boiled and cooled. The Europeans have excellent water but it has lots of minerals in it whih are hard on the hair. Hope this helps!
How do you seal after the co-wash and oil treatment?
Patience is definitely key. My hair was extremely brittle from braiding and a much regretted dye job broke my hair off about 2 inches. I had to start over completely with a pixie cut. I know everyone is different and you need to find the products and treatment that works best for you. But I started by eliminating ALL unnatural chemicals in my hair. I purchased some extra virgin olive oil and do a hot oil treatment twice a week and before I washed my hair. I use Dr Bronner’s Castile Hemp Soap. It is an olive oil based soap. I apply either argan oil or olive oil then let my hair air dry in twist overnight. I find that by doing this my hair is “straighter” at the roots and requires less heat. I only comb my hair when it is dry because my hair is softer and weaker when wet. I comb in very small sections the then flat iron it. It takes a bit of time but I am less likely to pull y hair. Then I apply olive oil to my roots and massage the oils to the ends. At night I put my hair in a bun because scarves never stay on… lol. I find that olive oil works best for my hair, I use it daily, my hair is always shiny not greasy, soft, and bouncy. I wear my hair in about 3 different styles so I am not managing it too much. My hair has grown 6 inches in the past year. I do not have any breakage and only shred the a few strands which is normal. I believe the less you mess with you hair with styles and products the better off you are.
You guys are really inspiring me to keep my hair natural .I shaved all of my hair when I was pregnant with my daughter in Nov 11 .It was relaxed and very long but I was not happy with my texture and it was extremely dry .I realised that using heat or straightening it makes it even worse . Been growing it naturally and it’s only about 5inches long . I used to have natural hair when I was in college and it was very long and manageable . This has helped me to realise that I just need to go back to using the products that worked for me then and stay away from heat .
I have never had a problem growing my hair for whatever reason. My hair just grows, my hair is hip length again after I cut it last year and three years…no, more like a year and a half from shoulders to waist. But I have also never lost a lot of hair in detangling or anything. I tried so many products though on my hair to control frizz and ended up finding that for me it works best not to put products on my hair, for leave-in anyway, and to just seal the ends with glycerin. Now I have discovered that underneath all those products all those years was hiding a big thick Afro, and you would never be able to tell if you saw how weighed down my hair can get. I personally prefer to wear it big especially since it’s so long and I want to keep it long, I need the volume. Lots if conditioning, lots of protective styles, and always, always sealing the ends. I also comb my hair a lot, like almost every day. I just use a spray bottle if I don’t have time to wash.
I’ve been natural most of my life except when I turned 19 an relaxed . My mother always encouraged us to be god-given natural in every way. So after going bald around my edges I stopped relaxing . Following the crowd,bad idea. But my hair is mid-back at 61. Even with medical problems/meds. I can go extended periods without washing(don’t judge me lol) every week cowasing. Twice a month shampoo with essence hydration. Coconut oil sparingly,massages the hair an I wear any styles want. And thankfully both my daughters are now natural too. Healthy hair?…at any age.
I need ppl with 4c hair to tell what they do to acieve long hair. It’s not rare for type 3 hair to grow to long lengths.
u should check out Cipriani on the blog urbanbushbabes. she has long 4C hair and i’m sure that she’s shared on her website the regimen and practices that she’s used to achieve the long length of her hair.