A picture of a 4-month-old baby girl with straightened hair (seemingly by flat ironing) has circulated Facebook, sparking outrage and broaching the question: How young is too young to introduce children to hair straightening and relaxers. While women, both natural and relaxed, have denounced the mother because the child is so young, my question is, how is this any different than straightening/relaxing a child’s hair at age 4 or 8 or 12 or 15? The message being transmitted from mother to child is the same: Your hair is not okay as it is and would look better if it were straight. Sending that message to a preteen girl is just as harmful as sending it to a baby (I mean, at least the baby doesn’t fully understand what’s going on!) It’s unfortunate how hair insecurities are so often passed on from black mother to child, almost like a rite of passage. Ladies, what are your thoughts?
Okay I’m really ticked off now. Lets get to the point. Lets get it out on the table and YES someone is going to get mad what I have to say. All the this maddness starts at home. It begins with our grandmothers and they’re mothers before them which has been handed down generation after generation that our hair is ugly. If the mothers and fathers of the 21st century can not teach there children to love the beauty that is within them. Who do we keep blaming? Sorry but this pic really upsets me. Thats only a baby and she is already being taught that her hair is not beautiful. Yes I know the baby don’t know whats happening but if the mother continues with this, like SOME of us including SELF was taught to love my own hair. The negativity starts at home and it has stop. How can we expect others to love us for who we are if we can’t love ourself for who and what we were born with…I’m just saying that pic is just a lil too much for me. Maybe it was done a joke…but lady its not funny!!!!!
I totally agree!
Yes it its wrong what the mother did, BUT instead of name calling maybe some research could be done to help this mother. Find out who she is and instruct her on proper and improper hair care.
NO. BP are so ashamed of saying that another BP is incorrect that is clearly child abuse. If that was my family I’d drop a dime so quick their head would spin, goverment sponsored parenting classes are most def in order!
I agree with you, these people who are criticising the mother are shameful. Yes the mother is wrong for straightening the baby’s hair but there is no need for child protective services to get involved. The mother simply needs some guidance because I am sure she is a young mother, a teenage mom maybe. Help the mother so she could make better decisions in regards to raising her child.
THe only thing shameful is not being willing to call a spade a spade. What makes you think the mother is open to hearing what we have to say? Let’s stop pretending that everyone knows how to be civil. A young mom on a bus received some of the guidancce you speak of for talking to her child like it wasn’t ish, her response? to call her people and have them shoot up the bus….that’s the kind of ignorance that is out there….so no, i’m calling child services, you can guide her after they take her kid.
She needs some serious help. Poor baby :(.
This is ignorance in the most pure form. I mean what is her reasoning, for having a 5month old hair straightened. I really don’t get it but like I said ignorance.
I believe that this has absolutely nothing to do with how this person feels about their natural hair. I do agree however, that this must be a young mother, but to her, this baby is like a doll, or a new toy for her to dress up and play with. Like one of the other commenters said, she is so immature, she was not cognisant of the possible consequences or repercussions of her actions. When asked if she straightened the baby’s hair, she virtually laughed, indicating her ignorance of the severity of the situation. This must be a child, with a child. She DOES need help, she DOES need parenting classes. What she does NOT need is an entire community of people atticking her, and ganging up on her with pitchforks and stones. The loss of the ability to see things through other people’s eyes, and to have apathy, sympathy, or even just an indifferent acceptance of others is what is so wrong with this society. Instead of condemning and criticizing her, has anyone dared to be kind enough to actually figure out the truth behind this story? Or has it been sensationalized to the point where no one really cares about this poor soul, and they are just glad to have something else to talk about, someone whose decisions seem poorer than their own, to make them feel better about themselves?
Attacking*
The mother and the entire community who think this is nothing deserve public shaming I mean dang nobody even mentions the feelings and rights of an innocent baby, I swear, some BP are very coldheart and unsympathetic towards black girls.
And you are clearly not listening. I believe that true_beauty does feel sorry for the baby, and I believe most people would, BUT! She is saying that the focus shouldn’t be on shaming the mother. Also notice that there are 4 people who like the picture, so that means that 4 people that she is (probably) close to like that her baby has straight hair, and don’t give a damn about the consequences to that baby’s head. So not only does the mother herself need guidance, so do the people immediate to her that could(do) influence her decision making. So quit slamming the mother, and saying that the baby needs to be taken away! Give her the guidance and tools to take care of her baby, if, with the tools, guidance, and resources, she still can’t properly take care of her child, THEN remove the child from the harmful situation. The mother is probably young, and just doesn’t know any better, and no one has bothered to tell her any better. At least give the mother a chance! Or are you not up for people having a second chance at life?
WOW! This is really disturbing and extremely ignorant! What is wrong with people in this world? How did she get a 4 month old baby to sit and straighten her hair? That is extremely dangerous and sad. She needs help and I agree this is child abuse. This is a baby not a damn doll. I’m sorry but black women and our obsession with straight hair is getting really ridiculous! I will pray for that child.
My mom wouldn’t allow me and my sister to get relaxers until we were about 14. One, to mentally understand what we were getting, and two, she knew that the younger you are your scalp and hair is not fully developed, and didn’t want us with permanently damaged hair.
I’ve heard of children MUCH younger get their hair straightened/pressed/relaxed and think it’s just dishearting. To unvoluntarily put someone in a position where there can be any physical harm is sick. It isn’t nor can be THAT hard to do natural hair.
This can’t be real.
If it is true and she used a hot comb, IDK how the child wasn’t burned. How’d she get her 4 month old to sit through a hot comb session?
If she relaxed it, how did her child sit through the relaxer application and the rinse out without get relaxer in her eye when she was washing it out…
I hope this is a work of Photoshop and not utter ignorance and stupidity.
Um…let me reiterate what Thick Nigerian hair said, because it really shuts down all debate for me:
“This means the protective barrier–the skull–is not covering everything and not fully ossified.”
Chemicals, hot combs and flat irons shouldn’t touch this child’s head. It’s beyond scalp burns…the child’s brain is not completely covered, so exposing her scalp to anything hot, sharp or caustic is dangerous. Anything that could poke, burn or leech into her scalp could also impact her developing brain.
So, if you know a mom like this, while it’s great to carry messages of self-love and empowerment, if you could find a patient, loving way to point out that the baby’s soft spots haven’t firmed up just yet, you would really be helping a baby that can’t speak for him/herself.
I agree with those who stated this isn’t about natural vs. relaxed hair or what is good hair vs. bad but an inexperience and obliviously young mother who is treating her kid like a doll…either way this is not okay.
Side note: who are the 4 ignorant people (well we know one person) who liked that Facebook photo? For real? Apparently the company she keeps are like-minded.
Silly choice. No reason for it. We have to start loving ourselves for how God made us. The child has a lot of hair that probably had beautiful curls. It’s a shame.
One of my friends posted a picture of her daughter on FB with her hair flat ironed when she was 16 months. She received a number of positive comments and peopled laughed at me when I showed some concern. One person even had the nerve to (seriously) ask whether it was a relaxer! At 2, her daughter retrieves the flat iron and asks her mother to “maker her hair pretty.”
This is why it’s wrong smh..the self esteem of that 2 year old may not be going anywhere but down.
I think once the child is too young to vote she’s too young to do those kinda things to her hair. That’s just my humble opinion. I want that my daughter learns to appreciate her own hair. If she chooses to do anything to it after that that’s her choice but I want her to value what she has 1st. That’s just me.
>_< Poor baby. I'm still haunted bythat video of a four year old with that giant relaxer burn scar in her scalp. Her idiot caregivers started relaxing her at 9 months (wtf?!), and she may be bald for life. Children, especially black children, have a lot of crud to face in this world; they don't need their folks' 'long, flowing hair' hang-ups thrown on before they can walk.
This is just wrong in every way, bad for the baby’s development physically and eventually when she’s old enough to understand..mentally. My child will NEVER see a relaxer or flat iron while under my roof….maybe some giant rollers for special occasions but that’s as far as it goes. UGH and the straight hair doesn’t even look good…really “mom”? Poor baby, and poor mom for her views on beauty being that strong that she felt the need to do this to a baby smdh.
Eeek! 4 months is TOO YOUNG for any hot tool near a head. And if that’s a relaxer…Someone needs to call child services immediately. Those chemicals on a scalp just beneath skull that’s not full formed may do some serious damage. And how on earth did she get a 4 MONTH OLD to sit still long enough for her to do this without hurting her!?
She probably did it while the baby was asleep, I’m hoping. But still, what a stupid thing to do. I actually flat iron my daughter’s hair, she’s 4, but only when I need to trim the ends. Never bone straight or close to her scalp, just the last inches of her hair cuz it’s waist length. So I guess everyone can judge me now.
How old is this child’s mother??? And where was the Grandma and Great-Aunties who shoulda whopped her tail when she mentioned this?? Cause I know she had to say something..nobody is that bored!!!
+10,000
And who are the IDIOTS who actually liked this pic???