Jada Pinkett has spoken openly about her parenting style, which includes allowing her children to express themselves in how they dress and style their hair. While son Jaden recently cut his hair and rocks a simple short cut, daughter Willow is constantly experimenting with color and texture. And of course, people have a lot to say about it, with Willow’s styles often popping up on gossip blogs. Apparently Jada is fed up with the commentary, and took to Facebook to set people straight. Click below to read the note and see some of Willow’s styles.
A letter to a friend…
This subject is old but I have never answered it in its entirety. And even with this post it will remain incomplete.
The question why I would LET Willow cut her hair. First the LET must be challenged. This is a world where women,girls are constantly reminded that they don’t belong to themselves; that their bodies are not their own, nor their power or self determination. I made a promise to endow my little girl with the power to always know that her body, spirit and her mind are HER domain. Willow cut her hair because her beauty, her value, her worth is not measured by the length of her hair. It’s also a statement that claims that even little girls have the RIGHT to own themselves and should not be a slave to even their mother’s deepest insecurities, hopes and desires. Even little girls should not be a slave to the preconceived ideas of what a culture believes a little girl should be.
More to come. Another day.
J
Ladies, what are your thoughts?
All photos courtesy of Zimbio.com
I believe that girls today are too wrapped up in the shallow unimportant trappings of the material world. When my now 9 year old, told me at age 7 that she wished she had hair like my permed hair, because it was straight and “easy” I set out to show her that all hair was beautiful. I cut my hair and went natural, from short fros to braids and weaves its all beautiful because it was on your head. Now she wants hair like mine because its versatile and “funky”.
Today’s girls should be taught that their hair is the least of their worries. My daughter has learned that her hair is an accessory much like the dangling earrings she wears. And like those $2 earrings it holds just about as much value. Your worth should not be tied up in your hair, in a day and age where you can have any kind of hair you want at the snap of a finger, we need something else to measure your self worth.
Besides, I rather her experiment with her hair now then when it really counts. My own mother, let me color my hair at age 12, just so I could experiment without repercussions. I say, Cut it, color it, and fry it to the side.
By far the best statement I have read anywhere and one I personally 100% agree with.
Beautifully said…..emailed this to my teenage daugter. Love all the pictures
@Twill its (beeps) like you that makes me wish i wasnt black not because of colour but emotionally, and mental well being i hate you, and hate (b… like you! sexist racist(beeps) You and your crap about what she should do as a little black girl well press your hair and be as conservative as you like your at the bottom of the pile employment wise ,business wise, looks and beauty wise, your never gracing the covers of top magazines , your mostley always over looked for promotion you have the worst health amongst all women, whites dont give a (beep) about how you behave at any cost no matter what you do with your hair or colour, your nasty b….chs!and when black women start to love themselves its (beeps) like you that come along with your shit about do this and that..where are you in the world eh?..Willows mother is a better parent, mother daughter lover than you will ever be..your just jealouse because she has money and her daughter is lucky very lucky to have a mother so kind and caring to allow her daughter to be free..and this thing about bounderies well i bet willow knows more about herself than you will ever..and as for your homophobic sentiments well its (beeps) like you that are the closet homosexuals..and bet if she lived with you she would be pregnant already or drugged up or OBESE !..You go Jada FREE our black daughter from the devils of most of these black jealouse women twills of the world! jada you give to charity, care about your family and there well being your an inspiration tell the rest of them Cloned nasty black(beeps)to go to hell!
Um…wow!! Tell us how you really feel :)
At least she’s not dressing like she is ready to go take a spin on the stripper pole. You can bet that she has rules because if she didn’t it would show. Plus, my family is not in the limelight, nowhere near the amount of money that Will and Jada has. But I let my my kids wear their hair anyway they want to. How many kids grew up with rules and regulations in their home ans the ended up going in the wrong direction? How many ended up shooting up the school across the street from their home because it was Monday? Some of you need to watch ID because they have shown stories where some of the kids kill because they had rules in the home, no abuse, drug, alcohol in the home. They had loving parents but because they had rules they just decided to kill, try drugs, or whatever. Willow’s hair style does not mean that her parents just let her have her way. They’re just letting her find herself. And by the way finding yourself does not mean that she will become a lesbian as one person on here suggested by saying next it will sexual orientation. How many people have gay children and they raised their child according to they was they were raised or how society say how a child should be raised. Every child responds differently to the boundaries that are placed by their parents. What worked for one child may not work for another and I am living proof of that because I have 3 children. And they had different rules because they have different personalities.
I applaud the sentiment and perhaps I’m just too traditional for my own good, but I disagree with Jada.
Hair serves no real purpose because it can be completely shaved off with no ill effect on health. So the reason people grow it, style it, etc. is to reflect an image that is being impressed upon other people. Even if Willow is wearing her hair short, it’s straightened, colored, etc. to make some kind of statement to illicit a response from people. So this whole, “We don’t care about Willow’s hair” statement is nonsense.
If she really didn’t care about hair and Willow didn’t either they would cover her hair like the Muslim women and the nuns and Amish women.
Also, Willow will start getting interested in boys soon. Right or wrong, most boys and young men are socialized to like young women with longer hair – medium-length or longer. How will Willow feel when she sees girls her age get dates and she keeps getting passed over by the opposite sex? It’s not right that this is how things are but it’s reality. Ignoring this reality does Willow no favors. This hair is a statement I feel Willow should make in college where other young people who are also discovering themselves may be more accepting.
The beauty of it is Willow probably ALREADY likes boys and is secure enough to not give to hot cents on whether or not a boy wont like her for short hair. NOW THAT’S a confident teenage girl!! Heck you got grown women that dont have that sort of courage!!
Let me play devils advocate for a minute though, what will Willow do if she’s a virgin and notices that boys pass her over for the girls that are putting out? Should she go along with that too? We should NEVER raise our girls to place her self worth in the opinions of ANYONE other than themselves especially a damn man!
Tell it Nikki, Boom!!!!
+1
+2!
You don’t know how secure Willow is. Actually, I see her a little differently. I see someone who is hiding behind an eccentric image or a mask. Of course, Willow shouldn’t engage in deviant behavior and I’m perfectly aware of “if everybody else jumps off a bridge [does drugs, becomes promiscuous, gets drunk] should you as well?” Unequivocally well. But I’m not going for party lines here.
Willow, is just a child and a very well-known celebrity’s child. I think she is unnecessarily being subjected to harsh criticism. She may even be getting denied film roles while her brother, mother, and father aren’t – all of whom now where their hair conventionally don’t. Perhaps that bothers her.
But to assume that everyone that dresses or wears their outside of the box is perfectly happy and secure is erroneous thinking. There are lots of people with pink and blue hair or one sneaker and one boot who are unhappy.
Btw, I happen to think she looks cute that way. The point is that she’s being alienated and ridiculed as we all write right now and growing up is hard enough without drawing this kind of attention to herself. There are other ways Willow can express her individuality with her support. It’s just my opinion.
Ronnie,
I see the validity in what you are saying, but it doesn’t appear that’s the case with Willow. Check out her song. She expresses herself very well.
So true Ronnie, but think of all the women and girls that hide behind the “veils” society prescribes for them to affraid to step out and be who they really are because of what someone might say.
We’re on a natural hair site so we ALL at some point or another know how it feels to be afraid to be yourself because of society’s standards. But we ALL threw caution to the wind and said screw that. I just think it’s unfair to assume that a girl with a more “normal” appearance is happier that a girl that “alternative.” It all depends on the girl.
muslim women, nuns and amish women cover their hair for religious beliefs there’s no relevance here they cover their their hair BECAUSE they care about not showing it. so according to you every girl who does not care for her hair ends up wearing a head scarf?
i swear some people would just find any reasons to make igorant statements. most boys and yooung men are socialized to like young women with straight hair so let’s just go back to relaxers and close sites like this one lol
willow smith is prettier than most the girls of her age and i’m sure that she will have less troubles than many regular black girls of her age to find a boyfriend.
and oh yeah i know you’re entitled to your opinion. anyway.
I did not state that every person who doesn’t care about hair covers it up. You are picking apart my words, projecting and getting caught up in semantics. There are a variety of ways to show one doesn’t emphasize their hair. From simply wearing organic locs, to wearing it the same way, etc. I know that and you know that.
I disagree with you. There is relevance. Willow and her mother care very much about Willow’s hair. That’s why Willow’s hair is manipulated and styled so frequently in such a variety of ways. That’s why her mother made a statement to the press about it.
I also am of the opinion that Willow is doing this to get attention and perhaps get out of her famous parents’ imposing shadow – similar to what Solange does in regards to Beyonce, that’s just my opinion.
I didn’t make any ignorant statements. I expressed my opinions and I stand behind them without apology. Also, many of the women who are hi-fiving Jada right now would not be courageous enough to be happy with their own daughter wearing their hair (at this age) this short dyed all of those colors. Many of you who are on a site entitled Blackgirllonghair.com wouldn’t even be secure enough to cut your own hair this short and keep it this short for a variety of reasons, which is your right. But when I and others are brave enough to express some of the reasons why many young Black girls don’t make this kind of decision about their hair, I get thrown all of this shade.
Willow Smith is not prettier than “most girls her age”. She’s pretty. Period. And there are a lot of Black girls who are as beautiful whether they have long hair or not. Also, in terms of how many troubles Willow has, you are not inside her life and you don’t know what her life is like. Just because she’s rich doesn’t mean she’s happy. There are other ways to express one’s individuality different than this. It’s Willow’s right and her mother’s right but I still disagree with Jada’s statement.
i think that you are the one who picks words and does not understand what i said. of course that jada cares about her child’s hair i was just surprised by the comparison between willow’s haircut and muslim/nuns/amish women who cover their heads for religious reasons. and i still don’t see the relevance.
as i said you are entitled to your opinions we don’t have to agree on that one. and as far as judging people without actually knowing what they have in their lives goes you did it perfectly with willow smith and you just do it now with other black women.
i have worn my hair in really short haircuts twice even in the work place and i am not the only one. one can have worn her hair short and then let it grow to wear it long it’s called change and the purpose of this site is to provide advices to those who want that. i highly doubt that you are able to measure others secureness behind your computer.
also this site title might be BGLH i have seen icons with short hair as well.
young black girls decision most of the time is to wear their hair relaxed until they don’t have any on their heads anymore. i guess this site title is BGLH not to show that most black girls supposedly make the choice to wear their long but to show that they CAN have their own hair on their head long (or not) and naturally. i’m sure that you’re perfectly aware that black girls and women have the reputation not to be able to grow any hair and need weaves aren’t you?
i go on saying that most girls of willow’s age do not have her boldness and i never said that because she’s rich she’s happy. i’m just surprised to see how many people make assumptions about her not being happy or comfortable in her life without even knowing her personnaly, simply based on her looks. she’s not the first celeb’ child and others have finally turned well.
anyway i stop this conversation here
Willow is a beautiful child. She is will and Jada’s child to raise. Just be sure that each of us who have children give our children the space to learn about themselves. While I probably wouldn’t do what the Smith’s do, I can’t judge. My daughters are 31 and 26 and people used to comment on the fact that we lived in a very white suburb and that they wouldn’t be “black” enough. WRONG! I made sure they were rooted and grounded in who they were and they are sho’ nuff’ black enough as well as versatile in dealing with all types of cultures. We are only seeing one aspect of Will and Jada’s parenting style. As my grandmother used to say mind your business and watch how you raisin’ yours.
I think Jada is right. Thats her daughter and she can raise her how she see’s fit. So far from what i have seen of Willow she seems to be a nice respectful young woman. She doesnt dress like a you know what like some of these teen celebs dress and she doesnt seem to be partying and going crazy like we hear all the time about young celebs…Jada must be doing something right!! Its just hair…and its WILLOWS hair…im actually kind of happy to see a young african american teen not afriad to wear her hair short with or without color even tho the media says long hair is more beautiful…its refreshing and i hope that when i do have a daughter (i have one boy who could care less about his hair lol)she is as confident and secure as Willow!! Good job Jada!! oh and Will lol
WOW..Anne you must really be unhappy with self…. To sum things up in a MATURE,RESPECTFUL WAY…ANNE. Willow Smith is a celebrity child living a celebrity life…the rules are different. All I am trying to say when a Child take on adult like clothing, adult like responsiblities then they should be prepared to be treated adult like. I work in a school system with elementary children as well as high school children and i see first hand how children are treated according to there appearance: a 2nd grade boy with an ear ring…treated like a thug when mom not around…so when he has an outburst or playing just like any other child its somehow viewed as more harsh than the boy sitting beside him doing the same thing. No its not right but it happens everyday. What I have seen at the schools where I work…the most flashy,out of the box kids with the blue and pink hair and the black trench coats, excessive make up…all have a story..most not happy…is that the fault of that teacher who judge him/her in the second grade and labeled him/her a thug passing this on from teacher to teacher…or is it the parent’s fault for putting him in an adult situation/clothing etc without the proper tools/maturity level to handle this unwarranted attention/label. We want the best for our kids but we cant protect them from life we can only provide them a fair start.
I have to applaud Nikki for really bringing it home. Willow Smith is her OWN PERSON. This is seriously the best time to experiment with her hair! My mom has always said for years that the best time to experiment with colorful dyes is when you’re young. My godsister dyed her hair green when she was in highschool & when people fussed about it at church my mom was the first to say, “Better she do it now than when she’s an adult looking for a job. She’s a kid and this is the time to experiment, don’t try to take that freedom away.” And then in my 3rd year of college I dyed my hair a bright cherry red! And when people asked me why I simply said, “Because I could, ‘cuz it’s my hair.” Seriously though, in my opinion, no matter what a person’s age I don’t think ANYONE has a right to tell them how to wear their hair or how not to. Jada’s message was in the right, and I’m seriously disgusted with the people who complained about this in the first place.
I love it!! I think she is so beautiful and confident. I glad she has parent that love her enough to let her be herself. There are worse things she could be doing. I think some ppl wish they could rock the looks of Ms. Willow.
HIGH FIVE!!!!
I am a mother of a very artistic 14 year old daughter who loves changing her hair color, cut or whatever. This is the time she will have the freedom to do that. I am happy that she feels comfortable enough in her own skin to not be the norm. She is natural…no perm beautiful curly hair and recently shaved the back off! People (mainly family) were upset. But as long as she is happy I am happy, she is an honor roll student at the only public performing arts school in Chicago. #sheisnotherhair
She’s a child and this is the best time for her to experiment. She’s under her parents’ wings of protection and she (hopefully) isn’t doing anything that will harm her permanently. She appears to be grounded in that she’s comfortable enough to change her hair again after the stink it raised the last time. And she’s mature enough to express herself in a song stating that she’s not her hair. Leave her alone and let her enjoy her childhood! She can be responsible when she’s an adult.
I think the hairstyles Willow wears are too grown up and adult. It’s okay to have short hair but the styles she wears are too grown up for her.
I don’t understand what the problem is…I’m pretty sure if she was wearing mini skirts, tank tops, stripper heels and over sexualizing herself that would be a bigger problem than her cutting her hair? Because fact remains that there are kids are age that are sexually exposed or sexualized. I think that’s more worrying than Willow expressing her style by hair cuts. Seriously.
From a short-haired adult who had short hair as a child because it was baby-fine and her mother thought it was too “stringy” to wear long, I think as women we need to do whatever it takes to raise STRONG girls who are not afraid to be who they are and who are happy and confident in who they are. If that means letting them cut their hair or grow it long and then dye it all the colors of the rainbow, then soldier on…
Jeez, I wish MY mom was this empowering and accepting! Jada’s attitude towards her daughter’s self-expression can only breed confidence, something that a lot of girls struggle with. I shaved the back of my head and she’s given me so much crap about it, constantly reminding me how unsightly it looks and how “selfish” I am for doing it. Not only do I own my own body, but I’m 18 years old. And personally, I love the way my hair looks, even if it challenges tradition.
And men still like me. More than ever.
(Edit: In the 3rd sentence, in using “she”, I refer to my mother.)
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