4 Secrets to Super Soft Natural Hair


Style Icon Tori

Many naturals spend a lot of time, research and money seeking out the perfect holy grail conditioner. This is the product that will give super soft hair and moisture for days. This is the product that will replicate the salon results. However, the truth is that salon products are often sold to consumers and many of these are really not dramatically different from store bought products. The real secret of super soft hair is more about technique and less about product. Yes, it is true that your hair may prefer a particular ingredient but it is possible with the right process to get your hair super soft regardless of the product. Here are the tips.

1. Do not skip shampoo

How does this create soft hair : No build up on the hair surface means you get a very smooth strand to the touch.

Hair conditioner is the first thing many think about when it comes to soft hair but applying hair conditioner to hair with a layer of oil and styling products really reduces its ability to work as intended. Find a mild shampoo that you like and always use it during your main wash. If you choose to co-wash between main washes, this is fine, but using a shampoo during your main wash will help fight build up and create a nice clean layer for your conditioner to work on.

2. Do not be heavy handed with conditioner – Unravel those twists or braids

How does this create soft hair : Hair conditioner coats hair with softening ingredients and the more hair you have in contact with the conditioner, the softer it will feel.

If you are washing your hair in large twists or braids, take the time to unravel each twist or braid and apply hair conditioner properly to coat each strand of hair. You do not have to be heavy handed with your conditioner, you just have to make sure you get every strand covered . Plopping a large amount of conditioner on hair and trying to squeeze it through each large twist or braid is not the way to go. However, do rebraid or retwist after the conditioner application, if you intend to control shrinkage.

3. Heat up your conditioner and keep it on for 20 – 30 minutes

How does this create soft hair : Increased heat and additional time (20-30 minutes maximum), increases the amount of conditioner that can deposit on the surface of hair. More conditioner on the surface equals more softness.

Often in a salon, you will either have your hair wrapped in a towel after conditioning and asked to wait or covered with a plastic cap and placed under a hooded dryer. At home, you can achieve the same effect by simply heating up your conditioner in a water bath and then keeping the heat in once the conditioner is applied by covering your hair with a towel. Heat increases the amount of deposits on the hair surface from conditioner (adsorption if you are in the know). Increasing your conditioning time to 20-30 minutes also increases adsorption but after this time period, there are no further increases.

4. Go easy with the leave in products and stretch your hair out to dry

How does this create soft hair: Using a minimal amount of leave in products allows hair strands to be able to move past each other and not be sticky. The lighter hair feels, the softer it feels. Also hair that is very kinky with small curls will feel softer when stretched compared to when allowed to fully shrink.

Leave in products are useful for maintaining moisture but using a large amount can reduce the softness of hair. Naturally if you prefer your hair to be coated with a product as it feels better, then that is ok for you.

If you have hair that clumps, please ignore this next tip, you should encourage clumping and allow your hair to dry unrestricted. If your hair has tight curls and multiple kinks, allowing it to shrink fully can create a very rough feeling texture (‘brillo pad’), regardless of whether you have followed the processes listed above. This is the reason why many stylists will finish hair with a light blow dry or twist out/braid out depending on time and client’s desire. Stretching out the hair increases the feeling of softness.

Finally, one additional tip that I can give for stretching hair at home is that if you are choosing to air dry your hair in twists or braids, you can get a very good stretch and hair that feels very soft by stretching in two cycles. First, apply your leave ins/oils to freshly washed hair and braid or twist to dry. In the second cycle, unravel the dry twists or braids, rewet lightly with water and reapply a small amount of leave in or oil once more. Retwist or rebraid and allow to dry once more to get to a really good stretch.

Ladies, have you tried these tips? How do you get super soft hair?

The Natural Haven

The Natural Haven

Scientist on a hairy mission!


* indicates required

50 thoughts on “4 Secrets to Super Soft Natural Hair

  1. Hello ladies,
    I just did my BC on 12/9 btw it was the worst and greatest experience of my life but now after a week I am struggling with this brillo pad on my head. I have been using shea moistures shampoo once or twice a month I cowash daily with cold water and I use shea moistures conditioner twice a week, I also use jamaican castor oil (coconut) but I am still having trouble with keeping my hair soft and not matted looking when I wake up in the morning. I am so lost on this natural process and unsure what to do. Ive looked everywhere…the type of water im using because I know harsh water can damage your hair. I no longer towel dry I use a tshirt and pat it dry or air dry ive been wearing a wig for a week now because I dont want to wear my hair out in fear it will look dry and matted after an hr. HELP!! LOL

    • I use creations garden leave in and I seal with coconut oil. This is what works for me.I usually use castor oil more so on my scalp because it’s great at preventing a dry scalp and sometimes i get a little heavy handed so my twist outs don’t look all that. Maybe you need a leave in or a butter!*just a thought* :) btw I get my creations garden leave in at tj maxx for a cheaper price if you were wondering. I used to use the Gartner fructis one but wanted to try something new. I had to mix it with water too because i think i was heavy handed with that too lol but it was the perfect balance for me. Hope you have a spray bottle as well. good luck with your journey!

    • I would suggest trying Giovanni smooth as silk deep conditioner. It gives so much moisture after you wags your hair that you do not need much after. I recommend applying it and then detangling and leaving it in for about 30 min under a dryer not too hot just warm. Or without a dryer for one hour. Then apply your castor oil (small amount) and you should be good. Trust me, I struggle with extremely dry and brittle hair, matted in the morning. I never sleep with wet hair and this is the only thing that works for me. You can get this at whole foods and even some targets.

    • After my big chop, I couldn’t wash/cowash everyday!! I only washed once a week or so. Once you put a product in, it’s there and each morning I wet my hands or sprayed water in my hair and worked to get my desired look. That keeps your hair from excessive build up. Your products you listed are great ones-but may not be what works to achieve the softness you really want!
      I’m no expert, I’ve used a lot of trial and error in these 13 years. OAN-I love wigs!! In winter I rarely wear my hair out!! So if it works- do your thang!!!!

    • I find what helps me is not to wash or Co-wash daily. I Wash once a week or every two. For the most part I keep my hair in protective styles such as braids or weave. If I wear my hair out which is mostly in spring and fall I make sure I oil me hair and then at I put castor oil on my tips! Hope this helps

    • You have to do some kind of protective style like bantu knots or twists. That molds the hair and doesnt allow it to be so dry. Ofcourse a leave in helps also. I personally like Aveeno

    • Try using Coconut oil the night before washing your hair. I go to a Indian Store and buy Vatika (my favorite); Protective styling goes a long way…try some some twist and still moisturize daily. I will twist my hair and in the morning I will spritz it with a mixture of water and aloe vera juice (1 part AVJ to 2 parts H2O), rub some oil on my hair (jojoba, olive oil, or sweet almond oil) and seal with a small amount of butter. Be sure to wrap your hair up at night. Stick with it – it gets easier. :)


    • Don’t use cold water to wash your hair!
      Cold water closes the cuticles and stops moisture from coming in.
      Warm/Hot water opens the cuticles and let’s moisture in.
      Think of it like shingles on a roof; when the slates are raised (open) water can go in and make the house wet, when the slates are lowered (closed) water can’t go in and the house stays dry.

      So this is what I recommend you do:
      Wash your hair with very warm water, not hot or it will scald your scalp. Apply a sealant of your choice (coconut oil, caster oil, etc.) Then rinse your hair with cold water.
      I hope that helps!

  2. All the products I use make the hair soft after they are rinsed out.
    I use Pielor smooth and softness shampoo (mild formulation)
    ORS Replenishing conditioner, When I deep condition I use Kanechom Jaborondi and Acai hair masks. They make my hair really soft and easy to d’tangle, comb and style. not only are they moisturizing hair masks but when I air dry my hair it shrinks and forms perfect curls.

    To maintain the soft effect of the products I use, I mostly just spritz with water and sometimes mix the water with another moisturizer. I don’t use any product until my hair is dry.

    I don’t really seal my hair with any sealing methods I find them drying. If I want to seal I first oil my hair then put plain water. My hair will feel soft and moisturized the whole day and the following day I just use water.. I live in a country that is really hot sometimes the temperature goes up to 48 degrees Celsius this sometimes makes the moisturizing and sealing of no use.

  3. Pingback: 4 secrets to soft natural hair | Eazynet

  4. hey my hair is breaking like nobody’s business and its relaxed now i want to start afreash and have natural hair please help a sister out

    • Congratulations on your decision to go Natural because the chemicals are no good for your hair and can affect your body negatively in many ways too.
      I hold Hair Today and Hair Tomorrow Natural Hair Care Events in London (UK) that would be great for you to attend. I used to relax my hair for many years and then transitioned back to natural hair over a period of 2 yrs. If you do not live geographically close to where my Events/Workshops take place, you can surf the net and read blogs and try to research as much as you can about transitioning back to natural hair and how to look after your new texture. All the best with your natural hair journey.

    • I like the Transitioning area of this site (Under Hair Care). Under there check out “Transitioning 101: Everything You Need to Know About Transitioning to Natural Hair” – I think that’s a great starting point. Keep browsing sites like this one and also check out youtube for other naturals for ideas as you start your natural hair journey. Good Luck! :o)

  5. The hair style was so nice and very interesting because you can make your hair wonderful. This kind of hair style was really great and i love a lot of hair style like in the style icon. :)

  6. After looking over a handful of the blog posts on your site, I really appreciate your
    technique of blogging. I book marked it to my bookmark webpage list and will be checking back soon.
    Please check out my website as well and tell me your opinion.

  7. I literally do the opposite of everything in this post to get soft hair. This really shows that what works for one person might not work for other people.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *