by Adeola of The Mane Captain
hair frustration
As a black hair blogger, I try to remain active in the virtual black hair (relaxed and afro-textured) community. I read comments left by other readers and leave my opinion when necessary. From these comments, I find that we as a people still have a LONG way to go when it comes to Black hair.

Despite the hundreds of resources that are out there to educate us on black hair, I find there are still hundreds of black hair problems which are unaddressed and sometimes “glorified” on many hair blogs. It is because of these problems that I have been provoked to write this post in hopes of getting you to let go of some of these “crazy” issues which you or someone you know might be facing.

Even though there are many issues, I have only listed a few of the ones that I think deserve your attention So, here they are, in no particular order:

Dissatisfaction with one’s own hair texture and the comparison to others

Proposed Solutions:
– Trying all sorts of curling cream in the market so as to achieve girl B’s curl
– Putting your hair through all sorts of abuse all so that you can achieve a wash-n-go and other styles your hair doesn’t like to be put in

My thoughts: If you weren’t born with girl B’s genes, you WILL NOT achieve the same “out” style she achieves with certain products and techniques; but you may be able to achieve similar styles. Rather than wasting your time, effort and money trying a WnG, you can instead opt for “predictable” styles which will turn out well. I often achieve a “frizz out” instead of a twist out on most days, but I don’t deem this failure on my hair styling skills or a particular product since I already know my hair is very unique and will only do what it wants to do.


Obsession with laid edges

Proposed solutions
– relaxing the edges so that a cornrow or weave will look neater
– using a hard gel to lay it down

My thoughts: I find this is a very popular problem with Americans as I don’t come across this issue too often on non-American websites. My edges don’t coil up much and so I don’t have much to say. But one thing you need to realize is that your hair is no longer relaxed, it is now COILY and it wants to remain that way. Instead of forcing your hair to do what it doesn’t want to do, I suggest you rock your hair loud and proud!


Proposed solutions
– use of anti frizz products or eliminating certain products totally 

My thoughts: Again, I find this issue is mostly talked about by Americans. As I’ve mentioned above, your hair is no longer straight, it is now COILY and will be more prone to frizz. It’s easy to battle with frizz when your hair is straight, but a bit more challenging when it’s curly/coily. Coily hair will not always be smooth like straight hair and is more susceptible to environmental changes. So instead of fighting frizz which is out of your control, EMBRACE IT. And if you have OCD and cant do this, then keep your hair in braids, a great anti-frizz hairstyle. Your hair doesn’t have to be perfectly sculpted each time.

Read the rest at The Mane Captain

What are some Natural hair problems you often come across that you don’t see as a problem? I’ll be happy to read your thoughts in the comment box below.

The Mane Captain is a blog run by Adeola, a Toronto based natural hair advocate who empowers women with the knowledge needed to take control of their hair. She also holds regular meet ups in and around Toronto where Naturals can network and support each other while on the journey. 

Adeola @ The Mane Captain

A Toronto based natural hair blogger. Born & half raised in Nigeria, and now currently residing in Canada. To keep busy, I frequent my local library where I go to borrow non fiction books, particularly personal and spiritual development books. I also organize Toronto natural hair events, attend meetup groups and I'm working hard to be a polyglot.

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33 Comments on "5 Unreasonable Natural Hair “Problems”"

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These are real “issues” that one may face once you go natural. As one guest author pointed out (, some people will judge you for your hair. The good thing is, you don’t have to be hard on yourself. Just take it one beautiful step at a time!

Rachel J

It is imperative for us naturals to embrace healthy hair at whatever cost opposed to longer hair at whatever cost. It would be even better if both were achieved, however healthy hair is still at the top of the chart. Realizing the uniqueness of our own hair and not comparing our hair to the next girl is important. Embrace You! Personally I am a 4C. I consider my hair the tightest of tight. Major shrinkage, for me I find all sorts of style-outs to stretch it out, however Healthy is always my fine line.
Rachel J.
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Youngin girl
Curly hair seems to be more attention grabbing and way out there in the media. It’s everywhere. You see in in magazine pages, on commercials, at the supply store and on product brands. Of course, some women are obsessed with curls because that’s what is in. Until we can get an advocate or a inventor to produce products that lean more towards kinky hair, 4c women are stuck with curly models. I think one thing that can be annoying is the long hair motto and flat ironing to achieve waist length. What happened to patience? Why are we creating more… Read more »

[…] Unreasonable Hair Problems […]

[…] 5 Unreasonable Natural Hair “Problems” | Black Girl with Long Hair Adeola of The Mane Captain As a black hair blogger, I try to remain active in the virtual black hair (relaxed and afro-textured) community. I read. … I thought that maybe I lost hair because of poor detangling, normal 100 hair shed-a-day untill I found out I had a dietary defiecient, if I did not care about length, I probably would have never noticed, improving my health has led to hair growth, I feel better and plus my face is glowing! Thumb up Thumb down +5. Reply.… Read more »

I agree with most of the article minus the “laid edges” tid bit. I like my edges to look neat. #shrug. Not slicked back all the time, per se, but I don’t want them to look unkempt. For me, neat edges are like arched eyebrows. 🙂

Brittany. L
The laid edges is really a weird obsession when I see it written down as one, but the thought of it doesn’t sound weird and I wont lie frizz really does irk my nerves sometimes if I came out with a twist out and now it looks a mess i must admit it irks me a bit lol. And the texture thing is the biggest problem everyone who comes to me with advice on going natural always talks about their texture. ALWAYS!. They obsess over it and ask me what I think it is and hopefully it’s loose and I… Read more »
Being a “B curl girl” due to mixed heritage has made my life a misery in the African communities I’ve spent in, living in South Africa and visiting America. People are often in love with my hair, not wanting to really talk to me, but rather being interested in my hair. I am not exotic and neither is my hair. People tell me all the time that they wish they had my hair and for me it is not a sign of “wow, I have amazing hair”, but rather a sign of “I want these women to love their own… Read more »

Nothing at all….I just let it do what it do!

the gypsy life
Eh. I think the author was spot on. The biggest struggle for a lot of naturals, in my opinion, is the obsession with length and a certain “texture”. Sure, we’ve given up the creamy crack, for loose curls and waves. Acceptance of one’s texture and (lack of) length, is something that we have a long way to go. I remember searching youtube for videos of girls with short hair, and coming up with only 1-2 videos here and there. Oh, but there were tons of videos of naturals with long or waist length hair. As for frizz, I don’t agree… Read more »

You must have missed the point she made about healthy eating, exercise etc have no effect on hair…she has deleted about 3 of her points so I guess it now makes it difficult to have a discussion about the article…

nappy headed black girl

“Dissatisfaction with one’s own hair texture and the comparison to others”

This right here is the truth for a lot of naturals, especially newbies. And it’s so detrimental.

Although length obsession was removed, I have to say I agree with that one as well. Or, for some, it translates to growing a BAA.

Nothing wrong with wanting long hair, of course, but I find some of the things people do to achieve it are unhealthy for both their hair and self-acceptance.

TMC toronto meetup march 29th

I appreciate all the viewpoints, both supporting and those that are in the contrary. These are my personal viewpoints as I still don’t understand a lot of natural hair problems which women struggle with.
I appreciate all the comments and personal experiences that are being shared. For the full list, please click on the link above to be redirected to the blog where you can also share your opinion.
Thank You


It looks like the author has removed “length obsession” from the list after everyone complained in the comments. In my opinion, drastic edits like that should be noted rather than just quietly removed. I mean, if you wrote it in the first place you should either be able to stand by what you wrote or apologize for your error. Well at least that’s how I am.



COMPLETELY agree. I was wondering why there were only three points when the title of the article says there are five…

The prevalence of frizz isn’t as insignificant or outside of one’s control as the author makes it out to be. Frizz, especially high frizz, can indicate that one’s hair is dehydrated or that the cuticle layer of the hair is raised, which can affect the hair’s ability to retain moisture. Also, frizz caused by a lack of moisture is definitely something within naturals’ ability to control. For instance, after I shampoo my hair, I allow it to partially air dry before I apply my leave-in. If my curls have high frizz, I know even before I touch my hair that… Read more »

Well our hair is naturally dry, so if you are piling loads of product on it to “hydrate it” then you aren’t really wearing your natural hair, just as if someone wears a highly gelled up washngo that’s not really what their hair is like. I moisturize my hair enough for it to stay healthy and grow not to take out the natural frizz which looks amazing! if it’s not for you cool, but frizzy hair is not unhealthy hair. That’s how our hair is.


So, Mika, if you put products on your hair, it’s no longer natural? BS!

Mlle Batifole

I don’t think Tameka suggested that frizzy hair is unhealthy hair. Frizz does come with the territory of natural (and healthy!) hair and there are ways to reduce frizz. But I hope you truly don’t think that hair products like leave-in conditioner and gel- let alone simple cold water- makes coils, curls and kinks suddenly unnatural. Because that doesn’t make sense.


Your natural hair will still be natural if you rinse it with cold water; but it will only take out the frizz until it dries unless you put a great deal of product in it( in my experience) which in my opinion does alter the natural state. Again; nothing wrong with healthy frizzy hair! Don’t understand what all the frizz hate is for; how about you do you and I’ll do me.

PREACH MIKA!!! Funny how no one says anything when you have a perm no matter what state the hair is in but when natural everyone and their momma wants to become your personal hair consultant. Most permed hair women I know just wake up comb their hair a few seconds and go. Whoever thumbs you down and that demented comment up is one of those crazy ghetto women who would spend their kids food money on hair weaves, fake nails and smart phones and next months rent on a designer belt. They were the relaxed women who talk down on… Read more »

naturalcutie, sense when is wearing an afro not something to take pride in? They didn’t think that way in the 70’s! So our texture to you is something that is uncared for? That doesn’t even make sense. Is our skin brown because we’re unhealthy too? Just like I said, deluded you’re living proof right there. I’m sure all women want to look their best whether they wear an afro or those pseudo curls!

naturalstupid, I mean “cutie”, this is what I’m, talking about. I do take great pride in my hair, take great care of it, and think it looks it’s best with my natural afro texture. I deep condition my hair once a week, detangle with kinky curly, wash with shea moisture and braids afterwards, sleep with a satin scarf and pillow case. I swear I am OBSSESSED about caring for my hair and wanting it in it’s healthiest condition. And my hair is still an afro, yes I could define it if I wanted with loads of product$$$ but I think… Read more »

I disagree. Taking pride in your hair is caring for it and wanting it to look its best. Good care only enhances what one naturally has. Products wont give you what you dont already have. Most never had a problem styling and caring for processed hair but now since one is rocking natural hair they must roll out of bed, make no effort and look a hot mess just of be considered 100% natural BS


They’re just deluded by the anti-frizz propaganda used to make money off of exaggerating women’s “imperfections” and media making them think they need this or that product to solve they’re supposed problems. Now some women do actually have unhealthy type of frizz, due to damage or unhealthy habits but there’s a difference between that and natural afro textured (frizzy) hair.

wow was my numbering off by one lol i missed that the first one was Length Obsession. I’m unapologetically guilty as charged on that one, and i won’t get over it til my hair is at my goal length of WL lol do i take supplements for hair growth and has it improved my diet and water intake? No. but if it did, that would only be a plus! as for number five? I agree with her that all the hype about products that can make your hair grow is misplaced. and that products do not grow hair. most people… Read more »
1) I will say that i noticed the first to be prevalent on blogs as well as in real life. I can kinda relate to this, in having aspired to more straight and wavy types. I think it hits a lot of us hard. 2) It was a big deal for one of my aunts to always have them edges *laid* but i myself was never plagued by it after a certain point. Especially when i figured out fast that no matter how much gel i used, or what type, my edges always found a way to make a mockery… Read more »

Correction: ” *couldn’t* care less about”. was typing too fast


I disagree fully with number 1. Exercise and diet do affect hair quality and growth. There is s reason why malnourished people have brittle hair that’s thin and wispy and a reason why healthy and active people have healthier hair. It may not give you an inch a month but your hair will grow at
It’s optimum whether that’s a quarter inch or half an inch. Your hair and nails are the last parts of your body to get nutrients, so if you are not eating right hardly any will go to these parts…


I disagree with number 1, my obsession with length led me to increase my protein intake and MY HEALTH HAS IMPROVED, my hair had been breaking off severely for years.

I thought that maybe I lost hair because of poor detangling, normal 100 hair shed-a-day untill I found out I had a dietary defiecient, if I did not care about length, I probably would have never noticed, improving my health has led to hair growth, I feel better and plus my face is glowing!


That’s great! I’m so happy for you 😀

I totally agree with you, my “obsession” led me to better health and hair practices. More exercise, better products ect. But I don’t think it’s an obsession, just hair care. Its not even a natural hair “issue”, I’ve seen all types of races with straight hair who do the same things. Massages, exercise, drinking more water ect. I personally don’t see it as an issue, it’s not like they think about it every waking minute.

Good article. I think the writers’ thoughts are conveyed well…but blogs aren’t a litmus test of society. I’m always amazed at how out of touch the commentary on blogs and other forms of social media seems with people I’ve met who don’t live in the narrow fishbowl that some virtual communities can become and represent. I believe that using them to gauge who we are and where we’re at (any group) can distort perceptions of reality. A good deal of the language and experiences I’ve read and watched from SOME Black women on SOME sites – I was clueless about.… Read more »