by Dai­ly of Dai­ly Curlz
Sit­ting down and hav­ing a con­ver­sa­tion with a curly girl under cov­er aka any­one with relaxed hair or any sort of treat­ment to hide her hair tex­ture, is quite remark­able. It is fun­ny to me how many women refer to my nat­ur­al hair as beau­ti­ful, pret­ty, amaz­ing and all that jazz, but….they would nev­er wear it them­selves. They have me feel­ing con­fused. Should I feel flat­tered or bad? Nat­ur­al hair looks good on me but you (actu­al­ly a curly girl) “can’t” wear your hair curly? This is not about how I feel, it is about what is keep­ing you from going nat­ur­al.

natural_hair

1. You have “bad hair”…
I can’t believe we are still call­ing nat­ur­al hair “bad,” but, believe it or not, I get this every day. Think about it, if you are 30 years old or old­er and had your hair relaxed when you were 12 or 15 years old, how can you pos­si­bly know what your true tex­ture is? The appear­ance of your new growth is not an absolute indi­ca­tor of your over­all hair tex­ture. You can only see your true tex­ture when your hair is com­plete­ly nat­ur­al. Of course you’re gonna see your new growth, kinky, “bad” or what­ev­er you want to call it, because you are com­par­ing it with relaxed hair. I thought the same thing and for that rea­son alone, I used to relax my new growth every month.

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2. You don’t like short hair…
I get it, believe me I do. I didn’t like it either but if I had to do it again, I would with­out think­ing about it. I learned that a con­fi­dent woman goes beyond long or short hair. Hair grows, so enjoy and play with it. You don’t have to do the big chop. You can tran­si­tion if you have the patience. With prop­er care, your hair will grow longer and health­i­er. Anoth­er alter­na­tive is wear­ing pro­tec­tive styles like wigs, braids etc…

3. You care what oth­er peo­ple think..
Every­thing we hear is an opin­ion, not a fact. Every­thing we see is a per­spec­tive, not the truth. Go nat­ur­al because it’s what you want. Peo­ple will always have an opin­ion, whether good or bad. 

4. Nat­ur­al hair is not fash­ion­able…
Think again. Think Lupi­ta Nyong’o (just to men­tion one) No fur­ther com­ment.
Lupita_Nyongo

5. Nat­ur­al hair is not pro­fes­sion­al…
Nat­ur­al hair is pro­fes­sion­al, classy and just as fash­ion­able as any oth­er hair tex­ture.  Nat­ur­al hair allows you to wear a vari­ety of styles. Hav­ing nat­ur­al hair does not mean you have to wear it out in an afro all the time. Nat­ur­al hair yields ver­sa­til­i­ty: twist it, braid it, bun it, straight­en it, wear it out, pin it up. The big­ger your hair, the big­ger the style options.

Is there any­thing that came in between you and your ini­tial tran­si­tion to nat­ur­al hair?

Dai­ly of Dai­ly Curlz is a Domini­can liv­ing In LA, far from home but hav­ing so much fun explor­ing around, Curly hair, nat­ur­al liv­ing, and a shoe enthu­si­ast. Mom of two beau­ti­ful curly girls that com­ple­ment my entre­pre­neur and Free­lance life with glit­ter and pink.

 

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51 Comments on "5 Things That Keep Most Women from Going Natural"

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DWO

For me it was my lack of knowl­edge and access to those who knew how to care for my hair.

Jessica Mayouya

I am nat­ur­al and the only rea­son I wish to revert is because I keep find­ing the detan­gling process ridicu­lous­ly long. It’s like no mat­ter what I do with my hair, those knots just keep com­ing back. And i have been nat­ur­al since 2009. So it’s not a phase.

Imani
If I’m hon­est, i think they missed one major aspect out which is main­te­nance. It can be intim­i­dat­ing going from lit­er­al­ly no regime to hav­ing to tend to some­thing every sin­gle day, make sure it’s mois­turised, make sure it’s neat all the time, ensure the style lasts etc. And for me per­son­al­ly, I love nat­ur­al so i wear it nat­ur­al, but i nev­er wear it OUT…as in..untamed. Beneath the pro­tec­tive braids it’s there but i don’t let i breathe much i will admit… and i hear that nat­ur­al CAN be pro­fes­sion­al but for whom? that nat­ur­al with the long ass… Read more »
Shaniqua

I like Lupi­ta Nyon­go and every­thing, but she has no hair! How does she serve as an exam­ple of how fash­ion­able nat­ur­al hair can be? She is lit­er­al­ly unable to do any­thing with it at all. A bet­ter exam­ple could have been picked for that point…

Imani

I agree. there’s TWA — and then there’s that!

Well

I was think­ing the same thing…

Dominique

I think one of the rea­sons that I was expect­ing was men. A lot of girls in my age group (I’m 22) feel guys don’t want that. I would explain to them you can blame that on the media but just like African-Amer­i­can women are start­ing to learn to love their hair so will their men.

Ouida Cordell

My prob­lem is my hair is extreme­ly thick and tight­ly coiled. So I wear braids or wigs, I can’t han­dle my own hair to style it and wear it nat­u­ral­ly. It doesn’t stay put or defined. I’m hav­ing a tough time right now, con­sid­er­ing a relax­er, don’t con­demn me.

bree
I can very much relate. When I first tried wear­ing my hair in its nat­ur­al state, (8th grade), I got so many neg­a­tive com­ments from fam­i­ly and friends I was com­plete­ly dis­cour­aged ad went back to always straight­en­ing it. By the time I real­ized how much dam­age I had done to my hair (9th grade), I decid­ed I had no choice but to go nat­ur­al. At this time my hair was hor­ri­ble! (I mean strag­gly straight w/ only tex­ture at the top), and the neg­a­tive com­ments were at an all time high. I real­ized I’d just have to rise above… Read more »
Lucca
Its very easy for peo­ple to say they have heard peo­ple com­plain about hav­ing thick hair 4C afro hair when they don’t have to deal with it at all. I see plen­ty of peo­ple going nat­ur­al but you bare­ly say any­one on youtube or tum­blr mak­ing nat­ur­al hair tuto­ri­als for thick 4c afro hair or giv­ing advice either, nei­ther do you see 4C hair being adver­tised on hair prod­ucts meant for 4c hair (and that can low­er peo­ples con­fi­dence), but you do see plen­ty or wash and go’s and oth­er hair tex­tures, I do have for 4c Hair myself and have… Read more »
Ouida Lebert

Thank you for writ­ing this com­ment. Only peo­ple with 4c tex­tures know the pain we go through. Our hair is the hard­est to style, wash and go and twist outs are a no no. I am nat­ur­al, I have a cor­po­rate job so I just wear wigs because it saves the most time, mon­ey and frus­tra­tion.

patricia ellis

I have extreme­ly soft, thin, and fine hair…I can’t style it because of this…it’s frus­trat­ing because I see all the nat­ur­al hair blogs cater to thick curly hair. I wear wash n go’s because that’s lit­er­al­ly the only style I can wear.

M2
I under­stand agree with most of ur com­ments, just bc some­one is rich and has more resources doesn’t mean she has the con­fi­dence to rock a short cut. I am aver­age black 4c girl and have rocked fad­ed, medi­um, long, and short styles. I have a cor­po­rate job and it can be done. Exam­ine your own con­fi­dence lev­el and build it from there. every­one doesn’t always have nice things to say but we learn from every comment.wearing my hair like I do is a per­son­al choice, end of story.thats all, noth­ing more. Some days are eas­i­er than oth­ers but thats… Read more »
the gypsy life

why am i

the gypsy life
One of the biggest rea­sons that I’ve heard has been, “my hair is too thick..” aka too much main­te­nance. I can­not stress this enough, nat­ur­al hair is only high main­te­nance when you’re try­ing to style it in a man­ner, that is not con­ducive to your nat­ur­al tex­ture. Try­ing to get a defined curl or twist out, when your nat­ur­al tex­ture is more of a cot­tony tex­ture. You can’t fit a square peg into a cir­cle — despite what hair blog­gers and hair cares may say. Once you let your hair do it’s ‘thing’ (what­ev­er that may be) you’ll real­ize how… Read more »
Tish

None of the above. For me it was the main­te­nance and no curl pat­tern what­so­ev­er.

IPMHR
I agree with you Tish. I did a big chop after tran­si­tion­ing for 9 months. I was so excit­ed and hap­py to embrace the nat­ur­al me. But it was a strug­gle. I learned just how dense and fine my hair real­ly was.…each day was a chal­lenge. And I had patience, but it wore me down. With VERY dense hair, you just learn that NO AMOUNT OF PATIENCE will make it eas­i­er. My hair soaked up every­thing in less than two days. No twists would hold beyond a day. It was way to much work for some­one with a full time… Read more »
Ouida Lebert

I hear ya’ my hair is also 4c and I’m seri­ous­ly con­sid­er­ing a relax­er. I just can’t style my hair, it is extreme­ly thick and dry and only wants to stand on its ends. No wash and goes, no braid outs, no Ban­tu knot outs, no twists outs, no cute lit­tle updos work on my hair type, help!!

angie
Tish, Dont let the thumbs down phase you, if any­thing, we (all nat­u­rals on here) should be grate­ful and appre­cia­tive for you admit­ting to why you couldn’t stay nat­ur­al. Its not easy as Steph men­tioned. And the most impor­tant fac­tor is patience.…that self love you gain in the process is un-explain­able because patience starts from with­in. Not every­one is ready to be enlight­ened, or many are and just pre­fer things the oth­er way which is fine too. I salute you for being bold and hope that in your expe­ri­ences you have found self-love and learned to love your roots.…literally and… Read more »
steph

then that just means you pre­fer straight hair and/or you were/are not ready… You also have to have patience… lots of it. And while you wait, love your­self in all stages …and if at first you don’t suc­ceed :/

Kimika

It is okay to feel fear about wear­ing your nat­ur­al curls if it is your first time — its sim­ply a fear of the unknown — so do not feel ashamed. Doing things when you are ready makes a huge dif­fer­ence in just the man­ner of how you care for your hair. This arti­cle was great in point­ing out some of the reser­va­tions peo­ple have and I think as they become more edu­cat­ed through web­sites like this and mine http://www.curlyhairschool.com they will love all that is unique about their indi­vid­ual hair. Here is a poster I cre­at­ed to cel­e­brate this :)
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nicole hunter
I per­son­al­ly have done the BC and now I’m back to being relaxed. I have very thick healthy relaxed hair. I don’ t care what peo­ple think. I will nev­er ever again go back to being nat­ur­al. I tried it and it wasn’t for me koo­dos to those both relaxed and nat­ur­al. I love love love my relaxed hair and would nev­er trade it again for the world. I don’t have prob­lems with my hair falling out, thin­ning, dry­ing, or any of the above. I also only use lye relax­ers and I don’t have scalp prob­lems either, but some peo­ple… Read more »
Hansy

I think that peo­ple should do what makes them hap­py. I hat­ed my relaxed hair. I just didn’t know I could have nat­ur­al hair. I thought I was des­tined to relax my hair for ever. Thank good­ness a FB friend tagged a BGLH pic­ture of a beau­ti­ful nat­ur­al woman and some­thing inside clicked. I decid­ed that day not to relax my hair ever again. And to tell you the truth, I’ve nev­er been felt con­fi­dent in my life than when I am wear­ing a big Afro and red lip­stick.

Tabatha
Noth­ing kept me from it real­ly, but When I was in the Navy the Ship water was hor­ri­ble. Its basi­cal­ly recy­cled water. So when you poop and pee the water is cycled through and is cleaned and puri­fied and then comes out as water that you show­er, brush your teeth with and cook and drink. The ship doesn’t sell nat­ur­al friend­ly prod­ucts when you are in the mid­dle of the ocean from 6–9 months, so you depend on over­stock­ing your cof­fin rack and lock­er with what you need because care pack­ages from fam­i­ly and friend’s tend to get lost or… Read more »
Adía

I’m real­ly afraid of short hair and nev­er did the BC. Instead I wore wigs, weaves, and braids all very long

Vera

I haven’t permed my hair for years, but until recent­ly, I real­ly haven’t seen many nat­u­rals with my hair type with it out and loose. Most have been Halle Berry or Tracee Ross types, and I would think, “Of course I go nat­ur­al if I had hair like hers.” Also the hair typ­ing and obses­sion with length and curls annoyed me. So many of us sim­ply aren’t going to have Rapun­zel like length and flow­ing curls, and I’m glad to see more vari­ety in nat­ur­al hair.

Jacky
The obsta­cle that i faced when tran­si­tion­ing to my nat­ur­al hair was the bla­tant mis­un­der­stand­ing of oth­er peo­ple when they real­ized or learnt that i was accept­ing my nat­ur­al hair and that i had stopped relax­ing my hair. This me me to hide behind the say­ing that i want­ed a health­i­er lifestyle and that relax­ers were linked to can­cer ( which were both true ) but didn’t show the whole pic­ture in that i want­ed to embrace, rock and love my nat­ur­al hair, the hair that God gave to me and how he gave it to me. Some­times, i still… Read more »
Josephine Odion

A man ask­ing me 2 be his girl­friend actu­al­ly thought it was nice 2 sug­gest I do some­thing about my hair; a weave, exten­sions or relax­er. I wasn’t offend­ed. I sim­ply told him I like how my hair is & if he had a prob­lem with it then he had a prob­lem with me. Cuz my hair is me.

Erin

Thank you for hypo­thet­i­cal­ly plac­ing you foot in his behind! Unfor­tu­nate­ly, so many women, no mat­ter the race, are hell bent on alter­ing them­selves for a man. Love is sup­posed to be uncon­di­tion­al when you actu­al­ly love some­one. Sad­ly, he’ll find that woman that will accept his lack of true accep­tance of anoth­er indi­vid­ual and will have learned noth­ing.
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saffron33

I agree nat­ur­al hair is alot of work more than being relaxed. But I feel it is worth it. I have learned so much in the year I’ve been nat­ur­al. While I do hear the occa­sion­al u have good hair, my hair is too nap­py to go nat­ur­al. I just tell those type of ppl they won’t know until they find out for them­selves.

Hansy

I tran­si­tioned because I was too afraid of short hair. Now I wished I would’ve just BC from the begin­ning. I missed out on the TWA.

Pat

None of these kept me from going back to nat­ur­al. I had my hair cut and actu­al­ly love short hair. It looks great on me, it’s been 4 yrs ago and I still keep it shaped up. I’m lov­ing it too as I was tired of the relaxed process and learn­ing to take care of your own hair is PRICELESS!!

lelebrown

I am 17 and have been tran­si­tion­ing for 14 months and I go to an all black Catholic school and many girls have gone nat­ur­al so looks like things are tur­ing around :)

Caray

Im proof you dont have to go the short hair route or weaves and wigs. I tran­si­tion for almost 2 yrs and just clip my remain­ing relaxed hair last a year ago next week! I have APL length hair the longest its ever been. By going nat­ur­al slow­ly I learned how to care for my unre­laxed hair and it was­nt a dras­tic change over night.

Love yourself
Being relaxed was eas­i­er I could keep a style two weeks with no wor­ries. I think I used just about any­thing on my hair as well no nat­ur­al prod­ucts in my cab­i­net what­so­ev­er flat ironed blow dried at least twice a month my hair still thrived and seemed to be healthy. Nat­ur­al hair came with rules and restric­tions that I just didn’t get in the begin­ning it’s seems more high main­te­nance for me any­way but it’s worth it when I see how much my fair likes the nat­ur­al prod­ucts and how many com­pli­ments I get ver­sus my bor­ing straight hair… Read more »
Anisa.G

It was total­ly the oth­er way around for me. High main­te­nance to me was hav­ing to go to the salon and sit around all day to have chem­i­cals put on my head. high main­te­nance was hav­ing to wrap my hair every night. Going nat­ur­al was my free­dom. No more salons, wrap­ping, blow dry­ing, and flat iron­ing.

Miss Mo

Oops corn­rows for school…lol

Puff
I think the two biggest rea­sons would be many women aren’t taught how to take care of their hair (nat­ur­al or relaxed thus the reliance of salons) and none of their friends, peers and fam­i­ly are doing it. For bet­ter or worse, black hair has been a com­mu­nal thing. Going to beau­ty par­lors can be a big part of many women’s lives. Going nat­ur­al changes that. Some­times I wish there was a com­mu­nal place I could go full of nat­u­rals to get cer­tain styles done. I haven’t been to a salon since I’ve gone nat­ur­al 7 years ago. And now I… Read more »
cacey
i think you are so right about that! If women see that enough of the women in their cir­cle are doing it, it catch­es on. Sur­pris­ing­ly in the rur­al town where i live, i notice that now any time i go some­where, most of the women in the vicin­i­ty are nat­ur­al. I keep point­ing it out to my hus­band, who’s prob­a­bly annoyed by now lol but that’s how excit­ed i am to see that times are chang­ing. I remem­ber when i was in ele­men­tary and mid­dle school, how only i and a small hand­ful of oth­er girls were the school’s… Read more »
Puff

That is so excit­ing to hear it is spread­ing in a small town! I’m in my late 20s and it is so amaz­ing to see how the com­mu­ni­ty has grown. I’ve learned some real­ly great stuff in just the last year or so that was hard to find when I first went nat­ur­al. I can’t wait to teach my kids about their nat­ur­al hair and them have the free­dom to be nat­ur­al with lit­tle to no scruti­ny! Dou­ble Yay!!!

Queen
Unfor­tu­nate­ly #1 was me. I received my first relax­er when I was 4. I was com­plete­ly sure that some­thing must’ve been “wrong” with my hair up until the age of 21. I start­ed get­ting more and more curi­ous about nat­ur­al hair, and I final­ly asked my mom what my tex­ture was like. She told me I had hair like my cousin (who is prob­a­bly about a 3C if you sub­scribe to the hair typ­ingn sys­tem) When I asked her why she relaxed it in the first place, she said because my edges would stick right back up after she brushed… Read more »
silkynaps
I def­i­nite­ly agree that too many peo­ple are hung up on the notion of good and bad hair. Lupi­ta is love­ly, but a twa doesn’t real­ly offer any shin­ing exam­ples of type 4 hair in its full glo­ry. Con­sid­er­ing that type 4 hair is prob­a­bly the most preva­lent hair type in the world, there just aren’t enough images in media to inspire women to cut their relaxed ends. I def­i­nite­ly agree that peo­ple spend way too much time focus­ing on what oth­er peo­ple think and allow­ing neg­a­tive feed­back to ruin their hair jour­ney. For me per­son­al­ly, I knew that I… Read more »
Miss Mo

Fear of the unknown because I’ve nev­er real­ly known my nat­ur­al hair/texture.

As a kid grow­ing up in Africa, my hair was always in braids for school and on the hol­i­days a weave or exten­sion braids.

Got a perm when I was a teenag­er.

I’m a year post relax­er and lov­ing it now so far. :)

dailycurlz

That is a good rea­son, we don’t real­ly know our hair until we let it grow nat­ur­al, but that is a very scary moment

juanicole617
I have attempt­ed to be nat­ur­al since 2002. Unfortunately,what kept me from remain­ing nat­ur­al is the opin­ions of peo­ple around me. The word nap­py was used to describe my hair by a friend. Well, I didn’t want to be nap­py, so I relaxed it. Tried again in 2007, but again, the opin­ion of anoth­er friend had me feel­ing I was bet­ter off with a relax­er. Tried again in 2008 then in 2009 but final­ly stuck with it in 2011. That was the year my daugh­ter was born. I had to make sure I, her moth­er, was her exam­ple of beau­ty… Read more »
dailycurlz

peo­ple always talk for good or for bad

Deedeemaha

The true mean­ing of Nap­py:

Nice Adorable Plea­sur­able Pret­ty Yours

I tell peo­ple who say ” oh, but you can wear your hair nat­ur­al like that I just can’t ”
You’re right my hair is mine and mine along so no you can’t wear mine. Please, stop try­ing to wear mine and wear yours. 

That state­ment has cleared the fog from the eyes of many of my friends / fam­i­ly, who have now went NAPPY.

lauryn

I think anoth­er one to add would be (6) Your part­ner doesn’t want you to.

We’ve all had or know some­one who’s had the husband/boyfriend that does NOT want his woman going nat­ur­al and/or cut­ting her hair.

nylse

This would be #3. It shouldn’t mat­ter what peo­ple to the extent that you are afraid to be you — spouse or not. It’s a smart man who can accept all facets of his wife phys­i­cal appear­ance.

lauryn

I think it’s fair to say that most women would be fine with ignor­ing the opin­ion of friends, some fam­i­ly, and strangers, but that the opin­ion of their part­ner is an entire­ly dif­fer­ent thing. Love it or hate it, it’s a real­i­ty that reflects the need for a #6 :)

dailycurlz

you are absolute­ly right.
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