Almost three years ago, I met the love of my life – my hus­band – on an inter­net dat­ing site. Call it fate. Call it chance. All I know is that I nev­er imag­ined that I would meet my life part­ner this way …

When I was 25 years old, I thought my life was start­ing to fall into place. Fresh out of grad­u­ate school, I was work­ing my dream job in my dream city. I had left a dis­abling “rela­tion­ship,” got­ten myself togeth­er (or so I thought), and was dat­ing a good man.  I had my own place and was self suf­fi­cient. I had an amaz­ing mix of fun and sup­port­ive girl­friends. Life was good.

But after a cou­ple years, real­i­ty hit that the good man was not exact­ly the right man for me.  I still had my career and friends. I still had my life. But I was not sat­is­fied.

Life, for me, was more than career and friends. I had always envi­sioned build­ing a fam­i­ly of my own. I had grown up in a big, lov­ing fam­i­ly with par­ents who call each oth­er “my heart” to this very day. I want­ed to repli­cate that love and fam­i­ly one day. To have a hus­band and chil­dren of my own. But I was inch­ing towards 30 and my prob­a­bil­i­ty of hav­ing that beau­ti­ful kind of love seemed (at the time) to be dwin­dling.

If you think it was at this point that I explored online dat­ing, then you’re wrong. I had exper­i­ment­ed with it in the past and had mixed feel­ings about it. Hence, it did not exact­ly pop into my mind as the path to meet­ing my hub­by. More­over, I need­ed to work out some issues, aka let go of excess bag­gage, I had accu­mu­lat­ed from pre­vi­ous rela­tion­ships. I was extreme­ly jad­ed. I thought, “F$3^ love!” So, no. I did not meet my hub­by at that time. It was a few years from that moment that I did.

Fast for­ward to my ear­ly 30s. I had dropped a lot of the bag­gage – not all of it, because we rarely drop it all – but the heavy loads and some of the lit­tle ones. I knew that I not only didn’t need to put up with not-so-great men but that I deserved a good man. (Appar­ent­ly, I didn’t think I did back when my rela­tion­ship with that one good man end­ed.) I recon­sid­ered love and thought I should give it anoth­er shot. I then decid­ed to give online dat­ing a fair try to expand my pool.

Putting myself out there – on a dat­ing site — was not at all easy. There were more frogs than princes, which some­times made me con­sid­er delet­ing my pro­file. (There was the nar­cis­sis­tic doc­tor who insist­ed that I cook for him on the sec­ond date that nev­er hap­pened. There were the men who were near­ly twice my age and thought I would respond to their mes­sages.) I tried OKcu­pid, which had the advan­tage of being free. I also tried eHar­mo­ny, which had the ben­e­fit of match­ing peo­ple based on per­son­al­i­ty. I was also on Match, which I felt would fil­ter out the guys just look­ing for a “good” time — well, at least some of them.

Ulti­mate­ly, after a few dates with some com­plete fails, my future hus­band reached out to me. A few months lat­er, we were offi­cial. After a year, we were engaged. Six months after that, we were mar­ried. And now we are expect­ing our first baby a few months after our one-year wed­ding anniver­sary.

I share all of this to say, online dat­ing could be an option for you to meet the love of your life. Just like offline, there will be some fails and there is no guar­an­tee. But there is also a chance that you could meet your per­son.

What has been your expe­ri­ence with online dat­ing?


Empow­er­ing women of col­or to break bar­ri­ers. Cherish.Thy.Melanin.

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4 Comments on "I Never Thought I’d Meet My Husband On a Dating Site, But I Did"

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Carmyne Revolver

I have always been an advo­cate of online dat­ing. It has its’ pros and cons. But I just recent­ly cel­e­brat­ed my 3 year anniver­sary with my boyfriend and we met on plen­ty of fish.

Same expe­ri­ence as you, but a lit­tle lat­er in life. ?. Met the man I’m going to spend my life with on Tin­der. Yes. Right there. My ear­li­er expe­ri­ence with online dat­ing was not as pos­i­tive as I’d like it to be. Boe­ing a sin­gle assertive type of woman, I tried to weed out the freaks and liars. But hey,… you know what they say… There are a lot more ‘cra­zies’ out here in the world, than there are locked up. And believe me, I’ve had my share. Now I KNOW what Crazy looks like.  Been dat­ing online on and off… Read more »

Tried it for 4 years…Bad experiences…trying the old fash­ioned way, again


Met my boyfriend on Tin­der. Yup, Tin­der. 2 years strong, set­tled down, liv­ing togeth­er, doing some invest­ing in real estate, and in 2 — 3 years plan to start a fam­i­ly. All because we both swiped right! Weird how some things work out.