I Never Thought I’d Meet My Husband On a Dating Site, But I Did

Almost three years ago, I met the love of my life – my husband – on an internet dating site. Call it fate. Call it chance. All I know is that I never imagined that I would meet my life partner this way …

When I was 25 years old, I thought my life was starting to fall into place. Fresh out of graduate school, I was working my dream job in my dream city. I had left a disabling “relationship,” gotten myself together (or so I thought), and was dating a good man.  I had my own place and was self sufficient. I had an amazing mix of fun and supportive girlfriends. Life was good.

But after a couple years, reality hit that the good man was not exactly the right man for me.  I still had my career and friends. I still had my life. But I was not satisfied.

Life, for me, was more than career and friends. I had always envisioned building a family of my own. I had grown up in a big, loving family with parents who call each other “my heart” to this very day. I wanted to replicate that love and family one day. To have a husband and children of my own. But I was inching towards 30 and my probability of having that beautiful kind of love seemed (at the time) to be dwindling.

If you think it was at this point that I explored online dating, then you’re wrong. I had experimented with it in the past and had mixed feelings about it. Hence, it did not exactly pop into my mind as the path to meeting my hubby. Moreover, I needed to work out some issues, aka let go of excess baggage, I had accumulated from previous relationships. I was extremely jaded. I thought, “F$3^ love!” So, no. I did not meet my hubby at that time. It was a few years from that moment that I did.

Fast forward to my early 30s. I had dropped a lot of the baggage – not all of it, because we rarely drop it all – but the heavy loads and some of the little ones. I knew that I not only didn’t need to put up with not-so-great men but that I deserved a good man. (Apparently, I didn’t think I did back when my relationship with that one good man ended.) I reconsidered love and thought I should give it another shot. I then decided to give online dating a fair try to expand my pool.

Putting myself out there – on a dating site — was not at all easy. There were more frogs than princes, which sometimes made me consider deleting my profile. (There was the narcissistic doctor who insisted that I cook for him on the second date that never happened. There were the men who were nearly twice my age and thought I would respond to their messages.) I tried OKcupid, which had the advantage of being free. I also tried eHarmony, which had the benefit of matching people based on personality. I was also on Match, which I felt would filter out the guys just looking for a “good” time — well, at least some of them.

Ultimately, after a few dates with some complete fails, my future husband reached out to me. A few months later, we were official. After a year, we were engaged. Six months after that, we were married. And now we are expecting our first baby a few months after our one-year wedding anniversary.

I share all of this to say, online dating could be an option for you to meet the love of your life. Just like offline, there will be some fails and there is no guarantee. But there is also a chance that you could meet your person.

What has been your experience with online dating?



Empowering women of color to break barriers. Cherish.Thy.Melanin. https://cherishthymelanin.com/ https://www.facebook.com/cherishthymelanin/


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4 thoughts on “I Never Thought I’d Meet My Husband On a Dating Site, But I Did

  1. Met my boyfriend on Tinder. Yup, Tinder. 2 years strong, settled down, living together, doing some investing in real estate, and in 2 – 3 years plan to start a family. All because we both swiped right! Weird how some things work out.

  2. Same experience as you, but a little later in life. ?. Met the man I’m going to spend my life with on Tinder. Yes. Right there. My earlier experience with online dating was not as positive as I’d like it to be. Boeing a single assertive type of woman, I tried to weed out the freaks and liars. But hey,… you know what they say… There are a lot more ‘crazies’ out here in the world, than there are locked up. And believe me, I’ve had my share. Now I KNOW what Crazy looks like.

    Been dating online on and off for the last 7 years And yes, I’ve met the textbook Narcopath online too. I’ve also met the Mama’s Boy, The Stalker, The Fake Single Guy, Scary Creepy Guy, The Sociopath, and Compulsive Liar Guy and who knows what psychopath I may or may not have skipped from.

    I met loads of people who gave me life aswell. Men who did not give me the feels, but who also stayed true to themselves, as I did. And so should you. Don’t settle. I knew deep down inside what I thought I needed from a partner and even if I would meet someone good looking, but who didn’t have any humour… I’d delicately tell them so, and cancel the next date. On to the next… It made it easier for me to say ‘no’.

    After 5 or 6 years (… Yes, that long;)), of online dating, I did however start to doubt my actions. Maybe,… I shouldn’t be so picky. And maybe,… even if I did not immediately feel anything for a man, I should grant him a second, and even a third date. How was I ever going to get to know a guy if I didn’t give him a chance. Maybe all I needed was some more time with someone…. to really get to know him.

    But no… That was not it. Eventually I got discouraged. And l let go of the idea of EVER finding a suitable partner. I canceled every other online dating subscription I previously had and just kept to Tinder alone. Just for fun, talks and a laugh.
    I let go of my quest, of finding a boyfriend, let alone marriage and somehow… He, better yet… His Hotness, was right in there, in that pool of Tinder guys. The minute I actually let go of my preset ideals and expectations of who I was supposed to meet and just enjoyed the ride, he presented himself.

    You’ll know exactly when it’s mr. Right when you meet him. As did I.

  3. I have always been an advocate of online dating. It has its’ pros and cons. But I just recently celebrated my 3 year anniversary with my boyfriend and we met on plenty of fish.

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