Tyrese is mak­ing the news for becom­ing a foun­tain of raggedy wis­dom for black women fol­low­ing his Feb­ru­ary 14 wed­ding to his “black queen” (his words, not mine) Saman­tha Schwalen­berg. His posts went viral, with peo­ple seem­ing­ly hor­ri­fied at the things he was say­ing. (I’m not going to rehash the shenani­gans. You can catch up here, here and here.) But I think we’re ask­ing the wrong ques­tion here. It’s not, “OMG why is Tyrese say­ing these things?” It’s, “OMG why are we lis­ten­ing to Tyrese?” If I may, let me just explain why I can’t take him seri­ous­ly.

1. He keeps mak­ing the same movie over and over again. How many car-based heists am I sup­posed to care about? It’s good for Net­flix on a Fri­day night, but I can’t pay $15 at the the­ater for a mashup of uno­rig­i­nal plot lines. The Fast and Furi­ous fran­chise is a box office jug­ger­naut so, get your mon­ey, T. Just… not mine.

2. His rela­tion­ship past is messy AF. Look, we all have a past. But I thought Tyrese would real­ize he’s per­haps not a great source of wis­dom when the sor­did details of his 2016 cus­tody bat­tle are all over the inter­net. And I do not say this in judg­ment. My per­son­al life is def­i­nite­ly not neat. But it’s a ‘why get your meat butchered by a veg­an?’ type of thing. Tyrese ain’t a guru. He’s as clue­less as the rest of us. The only dif­fer­ence is he’s not self-aware enough to know that.

3. To that point, Tyrese is one of many black male ‘I got the keys for black women’ faux-rela­tion­ship experts (along with Steve Har­vey and Tyler Per­ry) whose pub­lic advice is incon­sis­tent with their pri­vate lives or who, per­haps should be more con­cerned about their own affairs.

4. And hon­est­ly why does Tyrese need a new dra­ma every year? Just last year Tank was accus­ing him of not act­ing right with the TGT mon­ey after the group’s implo­sion. Like, dude, lay low for a while.

5. Because even his new­ly-wed­ded “black queen” is out here deny­ing her black­ness. (She iden­ti­fies as Lati­na, and dur­ing ‘black-queen-gate’ grum­bled that her white her­itage was being over­looked.) Look, it’s her right to iden­ti­fy how­ev­er she wants. But, pro tip, check with your wife before assign­ing her black-ass hash­tags on Insta­gram.

6. Because he can­not keep coast­ing off of the good­will of Baby Boy. It’s been *six­teen* years brah. And you ain’t exact­ly at ‘cul­tur­al trea­sure’ sta­tus where the dumb shit you say is eas­i­ly for­giv­en. (Inci­den­tal­ly, your Baby Boy co-star Tara­ji P. Hen­son is fast-approach­ing that sta­tus.)

7. Because I get the impres­sion he thinks he’s more of a catch than he actu­al­ly is. Look sir, I respect that you’re a black man with a 20-year career in Hol­ly­wood. You act, you sing, you mod­el, you’re hand­some. But Waist Deep ain’t exact­ly a thought-pro­vok­ing cul­tur­al dra­ma. You can’t be out here swag­ging like a Tre­vante Rhodes when you *chose* to star in a movie where Marky Mark ‘lowkey racist’ Wahlberg plays your broth­er.

8. Because I will nev­er for­get how hard Janelle Mon­ae curved him. When you put all your cards on the table, and write out a long-ass Insta­gram post express­ing your deep admi­ra­tion and affec­tion, and the response is a tight-lipped ‘thanks but no thanks’ you need to re-eval­u­ate how much you think you know about women… 

9. The way he keeps remind­ing peo­ple his wife has a mas­ters degree feels very… 2004. It’s like he hopped into a ‘respectabil­i­ty pol­i­tics’ time machine — before Black Lives Mat­ter, before “wok­e­ness’ was a thing, a few years before the Jamie Foxx remix of Neyo’s She Got Her Own was burn­ing up the charts — when an advanced degree was wide­ly accept­ed evi­dence of a woman’s irrefutable supe­ri­or­i­ty. Is get­ting a mas­ters admirable? Def­i­nite­ly. Is it worth repeat­ed men­tions and a TMZ arti­cle… prob­a­bly not.

So remem­ber this post next time Tyrese emerges with hor­ri­ble advice for black women — because he will. Your refu­ta­tions won’t be worth the ener­gy.

Black Girl With Long Hair

Leila Noel­liste, founder of Black Girl with Long Hair (April 2008). Social media, pop cul­ture and black beau­ty enthu­si­ast. bell hooks’ hair twin…

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45 Comments on "I Just Can’t Take Tyrese Seriously…"

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YES. TO. EVERYTHING. Please Tyrese, go away.

Stacy Harris

Slow Clap…YASSSSS!!!!!


Lawd girl… The read is real. LOL Sit down Tyrese. Hol­ly­wood will black-ball your black @ss as soon as you get your first movie flop. Because it IS all about the mon­ey. And if you keep run­ning your mouth about things you have no clue about, sis­tas (with and with­out advanced degrees) are gonna go see movies fea­tur­ing the broth­ers who are act­ing in REAL movies. Like Maher­sha­la Ali’s fine behind. Mmm­m­m­mm… And he has a master’s degree. LOL

Just Sayin

You go girl. You cap­tured T in a nut­shell. I am of the “let me look at that choco­late” rather than lis­ten to his rants and broth­er can go on for days. Seri­ous­ly, though I’m real­ly dis­heart­ened at how black men with bank go for the lighter, whiter so called trea­sure once they’ve made it. As an opti­mist, I’m hop­ing they will recov­er from this ill­ness soon, open their eyes and see the beau­ty in dark­er skin.


I love this gonna re-read it!!!

I don’t know what Tyrese said nor do I care. Women’s deci­sions should be respect­ed. I am not say­ing that every­one should agree with our deci­sions. I am just say­ing they should respect our right to make them. If we want to wear the nat­ur­al tex­ture of our hair or alter it in any­way, that deci­sion should be respect­ed. If we decide to sur­gi­cal alter our appear­ance, that deci­sion should be respect­ed. If a per­son feels the desire to point out con­se­quences or voice their per­son­al pref­er­ences, I can respect that. But to state their pref­er­ences and opin­ions as if… Read more »
Bee Bee



this arti­cle was so great I hollered laugh­ing.…

I do respect his opin­ion as he is one of the very few mas­cu­line black men in Hol­ly­wood who refus­es to be PC to make peo­ple (women) feel bet­ter. Some­times we for­get that men don’t see what we see in the mir­ror, and what we think is so cute, to them it looks like we’re inse­cure, have low self-esteem, or man­ly. Any­way, his life seems super messy, and why lie about the black queen thing? But I don’t dis­agree with his state­ments about weave and fake body parts. I don’t think he under­stands why some of us feel the need… Read more »

Tyrese has been a con­firmed cyber­stalk­er of Amber Rose, exact­ly the kind of “man­u­fac­tured clown” he denounces so hard.
These men are hel­la hyp­o­crit­i­cal and disin­gen­u­ous as they will pro­claim one thing and then be the very rea­son that “Insta­gram mod­els” have 1M+ fol­low­ers and can make a career out of those “heads of weave and fake bod­ies.”
Women wouldn’t attempt this look if there weren’t some social cur­ren­cy to be gained from it.


Yep, I replied to the post below yours first, and address the same thing. I under­stand the rea­sons why. I still think we would ben­e­fit from mak­ing changes.

Guest Writer
Erna, many women make those mod­i­fi­ca­tions to their bod­ies BECAUSE men like him por­tray a very stereo­typ­i­cal view of what is beau­ti­ful. In many cas­es, it is high­ly geared towards euro­cen­tric fea­tures (like the woman he mar­ried). What men like him say and do are ALWAYS two dif­fer­ent things and it affects their coun­ter­parts on a psy­cho­log­i­cal lev­el. I GUARANTEE you if black men like him (as a group) stopped fetishiz­ing every­thing non-black, more black women would feel secure enough to be them­selves. On the oth­er hand, if the light skinned woman with long hair, big butt, and ambigu­ous her­itage… Read more »

Every­thing you said, I summed up with “I don’t think he under­stands why some of us feel the need to change our look, the pres­sure we feel”. I don’t think I was con­cerned about blame, as much as just deal­ing with the issue as is. Regard­less of the rea­sons, I agree with his view that it’s a bad look. And that we could ben­e­fit from a more nat­ur­al, soft­er look.

Guest Writer
“I do respect his opin­ion as he is one of the very few mas­cu­line black men in Hol­ly­wood who refus­es to be PC to make peo­ple (women) feel bet­ter. Some­times we for­get that men don’t see what we see in the mir­ror, and what we think is so cute, to them it looks like we’re inse­cure, have low self-esteem, or man­ly.” This is my issue with your state­ment. Does a man real­ly reserve the right to be vocal about what WOMEN do? And the fact that you can respect such an opin­ion com­ing from some­one who has CLEARLY shown that… Read more »
GW, Come on. You’ve nev­er read a sin­gle tweet or arti­cle about women telling men what they should do? Wrong peo­ple say right things some of the time. If not, then no one would say any­thing right at any time, b/c we are all wrong in some area. I sep­a­rate the two. And don’t take his state­ments per­son­al­ly. My think­ing is, if the show fits, wear it. Let’s deal with is, regard­less of where it came from. Non-PC is GREAT…when it’s facts. Hor­ri­ble when it’s lies like 45. See, I’m dif­fer­ent. If you can’t pick up the phone and call every sin­gle… Read more »
La Bandita

You sound like a man or either real­ly, real­ly, real­ly not smart. He fell for looks — the non black kind. His wife just tweet­ed that she was not Black and that her moth­er is Afro Lati­na like myself and her dad is White.

La Bandita

Speak for your­self. YOU can ben­e­fit from a more nat­ur­al soft­er look. Many Black women already have a nat­ur­al soft­er look.

Guest Writer

Exact­ly and fools like Tyrese will still find some­thing wrong with more nat­ur­al look­ing tar­get. Their “sug­ges­tions” are always mov­ing tar­gets that women seek­ing their favor can nev­er hit.



“Their “sug­ges­tions” are always mov­ing tar­gets that women seek­ing their favor can nev­er hit.”

That is hon­est­ly heart-break­ing. Try­ing to adjust based on what men say they like. Ver­sus just being your­self, which remains con­sis­tent. Plus know­ing that gen­er­al­ly all men like the same thing, and it’s not looks no mat­ter what the media or poor­ly raised man says. Ugh, I digress…


“Speak for yourself”…then “Many black women…”

You can also speak for your­self La Ban­di­ta. Or, we can agree that there are many, many women who fall into both cat­e­gories.

La Bandita

Thank you. They don’t want Black women (they say) and they obsess over Black women. What they wear, what they eat, how they walk, how they talk. It’s fas­ci­nat­ing. Any any oppor­tu­ni­ty to speak its about a women you don’t want to date or mate with- that’s white suprema­cy.

There are cat­e­gories. “Black Girl with Long Hair” is a cat­e­go­ry. But it’s one we like, so we’re ok with it. There are some blind spots we have that need point­ing out. Point blank: We don’t know how to be fem­i­nine or soft, hence while being the most edu­cat­ed social class, we are also the most sin­gle. I didn’t gush about Tyrese. I agreed with his state­ment. I guess I don’t have trou­ble sep­a­rat­ing the two. Let’s be hon­est: Women have PLENTY to say about what men don’t do right and are extreme­ly vocal about it. Maybe they irk them and a lot… Read more »
La Bandita

Speak for your­self and you sound like a man. Women don’t talk about them­selves like that. ”
YOU need to be soft­er and more fem­i­nine”.

ONLY Black men and Asian women are hate­ful­ly to their coun­ter­parts to jus­ti­fy their oppor­tunis­tic dat­ing prac­tices.


Appar­ent­ly YOU don’t know how to be fem­i­nine and soft
I always won­dered what type of BW were the tar­get for these non­sen­si­cal rants …now I know

La Bandita

She’s not a bw. Most like a ww or bm — they’re obsessed with us.


OMG…we still have a long waaaay. to go! I love the thanks but no thanks from your girl! Ludi­crous!


Tyrese can join Steven Har­vey and them.…over there. All the way over there.

Claudette Young-Davidson
Claudette Young-Davidson

Love the snark! ‘Raggedy wis­dom’!


To say I enjoyed this arti­cle is an under­state­ment! I feel the same way about him and a few oth­er black singers/actors.


BGLH, ya’ll got NO chill. It’s Tyrese… Tyrese. Why give this so much atten­tion? Must be real slow in the BGLH office.


I thought he mar­ried an Arab girl. And why does he dress in Arab attire as seen on IG??


Lol! As a back Lon­don­ers obvi­ous­ly not too up-to-date with what is going on over on your side of the Pond, this post made me laugh. Leila I LOVE how you write! And woah Tyres has made you mad (I’m sure he deserved it though!) Going to catch up with this sto­ry now…?

Guest Writer

Haha the laugh I got from the truth in this arti­cle was so real! Thank you! I wish black women would wake up to his fool­ish­ness and let him fade into the hori­zon lol!

Zahkee hassan

This is bull­shit black folks always have some­thing bad to say about one anoth­er espe­cial­ly black wom­end with they angry ass

Dang did you have to go so hard on my boo. I am a Tyrese fan and don’t get me wrong he has flaws just like every­one else and some peo­ple may say he doesn’t hold the sta­tus that HE thinks he does but he is doing alot and more suc­cess­ful­ly than oth­ers. Yes he does con­tin­ue to make the same movie over and over and yes they’re all about car and mon­ey heists but not many sequels con­tin­ue with new twists, pay homage to the pre­vi­ous movie(s) all with the same cast. That says alot about him and the… Read more »

Your boo?????? Women like you are why the Tryre­ses of the world exist. Some BW need to get some pride and self respect and stop run­ning after men who show by their choic­es actions and words that the only use they have for BW is their coins. This man wouldn’t spit on you if you were on fire and con­stant­ly uses his plat­form to den­i­grate BW but here you are sim­ple mind idly stan­ning …UUugh!


Um Black women stay stan­ning for Black men who will use us for our sup­port then show pub­lic dis­dain for us.
Notice how Tyrese and oth­ers of his ilk are over­whelm­ing­ly made pop­u­lar by the very women they shame and lam­bast. They then turn around and cou­ple with/wife an Oth­er. Clear­ly their roman­tic inter­ests fall out­side our com­mu­ni­ty, so I hon­est­ly don’t under­stand how his opin­ions hold any clout at all. Con­sid­er the Denzel’s and Mor­ris Chest­nuts of celebri­ties, whose wives are actu­al­ly Black like them!


Com­par­ing Tyrese to Den­zel.… have sev­er­al seats girl !
Leila I total­ly agree with every­thing you said !