Tyrese is making the news for becoming a fountain of raggedy wisdom for black women following his February 14 wedding to his “black queen” (his words, not mine) Samantha Schwalenberg. His posts went viral, with people seemingly horrified at the things he was saying. (I’m not going to rehash the shenanigans. You can catch up here, here and here.) But I think we’re asking the wrong question here. It’s not, “OMG why is Tyrese saying these things?” It’s, “OMG why are we listening to Tyrese?” If I may, let me just explain why I can’t take him seriously.

1. He keeps making the same movie over and over again. How many car-based heists am I supposed to care about? It’s good for Netflix on a Friday night, but I can’t pay $15 at the theater for a mashup of unoriginal plot lines. The Fast and Furious franchise is a box office juggernaut so, get your money, T. Just… not mine.

2. His relationship past is messy AF. Look, we all have a past. But I thought Tyrese would realize he’s perhaps not a great source of wisdom when the sordid details of his 2016 custody battle are all over the internet. And I do not say this in judgment. My personal life is definitely not neat. But it’s a ‘why get your meat butchered by a vegan?’ type of thing. Tyrese ain’t a guru. He’s as clueless as the rest of us. The only difference is he’s not self-aware enough to know that.

3. To that point, Tyrese is one of many black male ‘I got the keys for black women’ faux-relationship experts (along with Steve Harvey and Tyler Perry) whose public advice is inconsistent with their private lives or who, perhaps should be more concerned about their own affairs.

4. And honestly why does Tyrese need a new drama every year? Just last year Tank was accusing him of not acting right with the TGT money after the group’s implosion. Like, dude, lay low for a while.

5. Because even his newly-wedded “black queen” is out here denying her blackness. (She identifies as Latina, and during ‘black-queen-gate’ grumbled that her white heritage was being overlooked.) Look, it’s her right to identify however she wants. But, pro tip, check with your wife before assigning her black-ass hashtags on Instagram.

6. Because he cannot keep coasting off of the goodwill of Baby Boy. It’s been *sixteen* years brah. And you ain’t exactly at ‘cultural treasure’ status where the dumb shit you say is easily forgiven. (Incidentally, your Baby Boy co-star Taraji P. Henson is fast-approaching that status.)

7. Because I get the impression he thinks he’s more of a catch than he actually is. Look sir, I respect that you’re a black man with a 20-year career in Hollywood. You act, you sing, you model, you’re handsome. But Waist Deep ain’t exactly a thought-provoking cultural drama. You can’t be out here swagging like a Trevante Rhodes when you *chose* to star in a movie where Marky Mark ‘lowkey racist’ Wahlberg plays your brother.

8. Because I will never forget how hard Janelle Monae curved him. When you put all your cards on the table, and write out a long-ass Instagram post expressing your deep admiration and affection, and the response is a tight-lipped ‘thanks but no thanks’ you need to re-evaluate how much you think you know about women…

9. The way he keeps reminding people his wife has a masters degree feels very… 2004. It’s like he hopped into a ‘respectability politics’ time machine — before Black Lives Matter, before “wokeness’ was a thing, a few years before the Jamie Foxx remix of Neyo’s She Got Her Own was burning up the charts — when an advanced degree was widely accepted evidence of a woman’s irrefutable superiority. Is getting a masters admirable? Definitely. Is it worth repeated mentions and a TMZ article… probably not.

So remember this post next time Tyrese emerges with horrible advice for black women — because he will. Your refutations won’t be worth the energy.

Black Girl With Long Hair

Leila Noelliste, founder of Black Girl with Long Hair (April 2008). Social media, pop culture and black beauty enthusiast. bell hooks' hair twin...

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46 Comments on "I Just Can’t Take Tyrese Seriously…"

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I thought I was the only one that felt this way.


YES. TO. EVERYTHING. Please Tyrese, go away.

Stacy Harris

Slow Clap…YASSSSS!!!!!


Lawd girl… The read is real. LOL Sit down Tyrese. Hollywood will black-ball your black @ss as soon as you get your first movie flop. Because it IS all about the money. And if you keep running your mouth about things you have no clue about, sistas (with and without advanced degrees) are gonna go see movies featuring the brothers who are acting in REAL movies. Like Mahershala Ali’s fine behind. Mmmmmmm… And he has a master’s degree. LOL

Just Sayin

You go girl. You captured T in a nutshell. I am of the “let me look at that chocolate” rather than listen to his rants and brother can go on for days. Seriously, though I’m really disheartened at how black men with bank go for the lighter, whiter so called treasure once they’ve made it. As an optimist, I’m hoping they will recover from this illness soon, open their eyes and see the beauty in darker skin.


I love this gonna re-read it!!!

I don’t know what Tyrese said nor do I care. Women’s decisions should be respected. I am not saying that everyone should agree with our decisions. I am just saying they should respect our right to make them. If we want to wear the natural texture of our hair or alter it in anyway, that decision should be respected. If we decide to surgical alter our appearance, that decision should be respected. If a person feels the desire to point out consequences or voice their personal preferences, I can respect that. But to state their preferences and opinions as if… Read more »
Bee Bee



this article was so great I hollered laughing….

I do respect his opinion as he is one of the very few masculine black men in Hollywood who refuses to be PC to make people (women) feel better. Sometimes we forget that men don’t see what we see in the mirror, and what we think is so cute, to them it looks like we’re insecure, have low self-esteem, or manly. Anyway, his life seems super messy, and why lie about the black queen thing? But I don’t disagree with his statements about weave and fake body parts. I don’t think he understands why some of us feel the need… Read more »

Tyrese has been a confirmed cyberstalker of Amber Rose, exactly the kind of “manufactured clown” he denounces so hard.
These men are hella hypocritical and disingenuous as they will proclaim one thing and then be the very reason that “Instagram models” have 1M+ followers and can make a career out of those “heads of weave and fake bodies.”
Women wouldn’t attempt this look if there weren’t some social currency to be gained from it.


Yep, I replied to the post below yours first, and address the same thing. I understand the reasons why. I still think we would benefit from making changes.

Guest Writer
Erna, many women make those modifications to their bodies BECAUSE men like him portray a very stereotypical view of what is beautiful. In many cases, it is highly geared towards eurocentric features (like the woman he married). What men like him say and do are ALWAYS two different things and it affects their counterparts on a psychological level. I GUARANTEE you if black men like him (as a group) stopped fetishizing everything non-black, more black women would feel secure enough to be themselves. On the other hand, if the light skinned woman with long hair, big butt, and ambiguous heritage… Read more »

Everything you said, I summed up with “I don’t think he understands why some of us feel the need to change our look, the pressure we feel”. I don’t think I was concerned about blame, as much as just dealing with the issue as is. Regardless of the reasons, I agree with his view that it’s a bad look. And that we could benefit from a more natural, softer look.

Guest Writer
“I do respect his opinion as he is one of the very few masculine black men in Hollywood who refuses to be PC to make people (women) feel better. Sometimes we forget that men don’t see what we see in the mirror, and what we think is so cute, to them it looks like we’re insecure, have low self-esteem, or manly.” This is my issue with your statement. Does a man really reserve the right to be vocal about what WOMEN do? And the fact that you can respect such an opinion coming from someone who has CLEARLY shown that… Read more »
GW, Come on. You’ve never read a single tweet or article about women telling men what they should do? Wrong people say right things some of the time. If not, then no one would say anything right at any time, b/c we are all wrong in some area. I separate the two. And don’t take his statements personally. My thinking is, if the show fits, wear it. Let’s deal with is, regardless of where it came from. Non-PC is GREAT…when it’s facts. Horrible when it’s lies like 45. See, I’m different. If you can’t pick up the phone and call… Read more »
La Bandita

You sound like a man or either really, really, really not smart. He fell for looks – the non black kind. His wife just tweeted that she was not Black and that her mother is Afro Latina like myself and her dad is White.

La Bandita

Speak for yourself. YOU can benefit from a more natural softer look. Many Black women already have a natural softer look.

Guest Writer

Exactly and fools like Tyrese will still find something wrong with more natural looking target. Their “suggestions” are always moving targets that women seeking their favor can never hit.



“Their “suggestions” are always moving targets that women seeking their favor can never hit.”

That is honestly heart-breaking. Trying to adjust based on what men say they like. Versus just being yourself, which remains consistent. Plus knowing that generally all men like the same thing, and it’s not looks no matter what the media or poorly raised man says. Ugh, I digress…


“Speak for yourself”…then “Many black women…”

You can also speak for yourself La Bandita. Or, we can agree that there are many, many women who fall into both categories.

La Bandita

Thank you. They don’t want Black women (they say) and they obsess over Black women. What they wear, what they eat, how they walk, how they talk. It’s fascinating. Any any opportunity to speak its about a women you don’t want to date or mate with- that’s white supremacy.

There are categories. “Black Girl with Long Hair” is a category. But it’s one we like, so we’re ok with it. There are some blind spots we have that need pointing out. Point blank: We don’t know how to be feminine or soft, hence while being the most educated social class, we are also the most single. I didn’t gush about Tyrese. I agreed with his statement. I guess I don’t have trouble separating the two. Let’s be honest: Women have PLENTY to say about what men don’t do right and are extremely vocal about it. Maybe they irk them… Read more »
La Bandita

Speak for yourself and you sound like a man. Women don’t talk about themselves like that. ”
YOU need to be softer and more feminine”.

ONLY Black men and Asian women are hatefully to their counterparts to justify their opportunistic dating practices.


Apparently YOU don’t know how to be feminine and soft
I always wondered what type of BW were the target for these nonsensical rants …now I know

La Bandita

She’s not a bw. Most like a ww or bm – they’re obsessed with us.


OMG…we still have a long waaaay. to go! I love the thanks but no thanks from your girl! Ludicrous!


Tyrese can join Steven Harvey and them….over there. All the way over there.

Claudette Young-Davidson
Claudette Young-Davidson

Love the snark! ‘Raggedy wisdom’!


To say I enjoyed this article is an understatement! I feel the same way about him and a few other black singers/actors.


BGLH, ya’ll got NO chill. It’s Tyrese… Tyrese. Why give this so much attention? Must be real slow in the BGLH office.


I thought he married an Arab girl. And why does he dress in Arab attire as seen on IG??


Lol! As a back Londoners obviously not too up-to-date with what is going on over on your side of the Pond, this post made me laugh. Leila I LOVE how you write! And woah Tyres has made you mad (I’m sure he deserved it though!) Going to catch up with this story now…?

Guest Writer

Haha the laugh I got from the truth in this article was so real! Thank you! I wish black women would wake up to his foolishness and let him fade into the horizon lol!

Zahkee hassan

This is bullshit black folks always have something bad to say about one another especially black womend with they angry ass

Dang did you have to go so hard on my boo. I am a Tyrese fan and don’t get me wrong he has flaws just like everyone else and some people may say he doesn’t hold the status that HE thinks he does but he is doing alot and more successfully than others. Yes he does continue to make the same movie over and over and yes they’re all about car and money heists but not many sequels continue with new twists, pay homage to the previous movie(s) all with the same cast. That says alot about him and the… Read more »

Your boo?????? Women like you are why the Tryreses of the world exist. Some BW need to get some pride and self respect and stop running after men who show by their choices actions and words that the only use they have for BW is their coins. This man wouldn’t spit on you if you were on fire and constantly uses his platform to denigrate BW but here you are simple mind idly stanning …UUugh!


Um Black women stay stanning for Black men who will use us for our support then show public disdain for us.
Notice how Tyrese and others of his ilk are overwhelmingly made popular by the very women they shame and lambast. They then turn around and couple with/wife an Other. Clearly their romantic interests fall outside our community, so I honestly don’t understand how his opinions hold any clout at all. Consider the Denzel’s and Morris Chestnuts of celebrities, whose wives are actually Black like them!


Comparing Tyrese to Denzel…. have several seats girl !
Leila I totally agree with everything you said !