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Mom Posts Photo of 4-Month-Old Daughter with Straightened Hair on Facebook, Sparks Outrage

• Aug 10, 2012

A picture of a 4-month-old baby girl with straightened hair (seemingly by flat ironing) has circulated Facebook, sparking outrage and broaching the question: How young is too young to introduce children to hair straightening and relaxers. While women, both natural and relaxed, have denounced the mother because the child is so young, my question is, how is this any different than straightening/relaxing a child’s hair at age 4 or 8 or 12 or 15? The message being transmitted from mother to child is the same: Your hair is not okay as it is and would look better if it were straight. Sending that message to a preteen girl is just as harmful as sending it to a baby (I mean, at least the baby doesn’t fully understand what’s going on!) It’s unfortunate how hair insecurities are so often passed on from black mother to child, almost like a rite of passage. Ladies, what are your thoughts?

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176 Comments on "Mom Posts Photo of 4-Month-Old Daughter with Straightened Hair on Facebook, Sparks Outrage"

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merry
Guest

i’m sorry for that baby.

MsXpat
Guest

If this is a real pic and the hair was actually straightened whether it be by chemical or heat, 4mths is way to young. What’s the rush why the need to put this sweet young child through this?

NikNak
Guest

Because her baby’s naps were offending her. Duh! How she’s supposed to go out with a nappy-headed baby on her hip? What will people think? You know us Blacks have to hide the defect that is our nappy hair.

:sarcasm for you people who can’t detect it without tone:

Thick Nigerian Hair
Guest
“…my question is, how is this any different than straightening/relaxing a child’s hair at age 4 or 8 or 12 or 15?” Is that a real question? Biology would answer that. “Fontanelles are soft spots on a baby’s head which, during birth, enable the bony plates of the skull to flex, allowing the child’s head to pass through the birth canal. The ossification of the bones of the skull causes the fontanelles to close over by 18 to 24 months.” ~http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fontanelle This means the protective barrier–the skull–is not covering everything and not fully ossified. I’m sure that this area has… Read more »
Iva
Guest
Agree with Thick Nigerian it is completely different. I think the guideline for boys getting a haircut is one year old because by that point they have begun to be able to sit still. A 4, 8,12, or 15 year-old can sit still a four month old clearly can’t. I think the mother’s an idiot and possibly a dangerous one for doing that to her child but trying to make this a larger debate for the purpose of comments is a little disingenuous. In no way do I support giving a 4 or 8 or 12 year old a relaxer… Read more »
Coco mane
Guest

This is the result of ignorance!! Clearly this mom does not have the tools to raise a child which is the ultimate issue of the article. I wonder what else she’s done to this child other than straighten her hair!!

trist
Guest

Calm down its just hair. What difference does it make from a 3 or 4 year old getting their hair straight. The childs hair has nothing to do with good parenting or not. Dont be upset because your mom ruined your hair at a young age

Lin
Guest

its just hair”

omg r u srs rn

This isn’t even about the hair; it’s about the fact that a four month old baby had that done to her. She obviously isn’t even close to being old enough to have chemicals/heat that close to her hair, and to suggest otherwise is ridiculous.

No need to be catty.

queofques32
Guest

So agree as well .. well said Thick Nigerian this hve nothing to do with it being a message. It’s about the health & well being of an baby still considered infant. This is real cause some of the ppl (fb)members are listed in the comments. Wow !!

treece
Guest

Exactly @ thick Nigerian hair. This has nothing to do with esteem, but protection of the brain. I know Jamaican’s who don’t cut a baby’s hair until they are 2 because they don’t want to hurt the baby’s tender head.

This is just wrong.

Sue
Guest

Thanks for that extra info. I hadn’t considered the development of the brain at this age. Very un-necessary at this age.

I’m with @Iva as well, the post is also worded in a way that baits people for comments–guess it worked.

Toya
Guest

That is rediculous!!! Come on now, the baby’s hair folicles haven’t even fully developed yet. This is an act of bad parenting. I wonder how old the mother is? Is straight hair REALLY that important? What’s the benifit of straight hair on a child that young, I mean at 4mons it can’t be that hard to comb.

wow
Guest

How low can people get? The baby’s real texture comes through after 1 so no one should be doing that so young. That is plain ignorance with Google at your fingertips that is really shocking.

Ntrlbeauty
Guest

This is clearly a case of “child endangerment” and less of a self-esteem issue. The babies skull is still developing, the hair follicles are still producing, and on top of that most of an infants hair is “lanugo” not the babies actual hair. I question the age of the mother, the depth of her intelligence, and her ability to parent. I’m sorry, but this mother should be arrested, because clearly this is the beginning of some serious abuse, which I guarantee will snowball into something far worse, of someone does not intervene.

Stayls
Guest

No excuses. That was a Horrible decision on the mother. What was she thinking?

lovelylauz02
Guest

Looks like child abuse to me. Why can’t parents take a “do no harm” oath to their children? Does the baby really look asthetically better with that hair?

Candice
Guest

I agree. Definitely child abuse. If that woman got arrested for taking her nine year old into a tanning bed, then I think straightening a 4 month olds’ hair definitely falls into the same category of abuse.

sat
Guest
Yet, a lot of white mothers bleach their children’s hair because they have been brainwashed to believe that blonde hair is superior to their natural mousy-brown hair. Jackie Evancho’s hair, the 9yr. old girl from the talent show, has had her hair bleached practically white. You see this over and over with whites who cannot even remember their hair color they have been bleaching for so long. The first thing that happens when white women, especially when they go on TV, is that they get out the bleach-Shawn Johnson , the gymnast, bleached every bit of color out of her… Read more »
EG
Guest

That was a long but worthy read. I thought I was the only one who noticed the BS with cartoon and kids shows. I let my son know early on that beauty does not equal white/light skin.

sparkspop
Guest

Well said. Thank you.

Melley
Guest

I agree. I’m sure the baby’s hair looked much better before the mother decided to straighten it. I don’t even know how the baby sat still through all of that, but this mother has clearly made a bad decision.

Landry
Guest

My concern is the safety of the child…4 month old babies are active and I don’t know how it could be safe to use heat on a child that is constantly moving around. Also, at only 4 months old, the baby is way too young to have her hair looks this. She is a cute baby, but her hair looks ridiculous!

Erin
Guest

This is some truly ridiculous ish! And some people wonder why they have a hard time growing and maintaining healthy hair. SMH! This looks like child abuse.

Carol
Guest

The mother has some real self hate issues!! Poor baby.

Fabienne
Guest

The message? What about the health of a baby? What kind of mother brings the heat of a straightening iron or worse, the chemical burn of a relaxer, to their child’s scalp? Social Services, anyone?

Alisha
Guest

+1

trist
Guest

-1 Guys you guys are totally being ridiculous. You guys must be upset because yall didnt have the choice to have natural or straight hair as a baby and taking it out on the babys mom. What difference does it make

AC
Guest

THAT IS A 4 MONTH OLD BABY! That baby’s brain could be permanently damaged for life, AND if she was older we could talk about her self esteem etc but it’s not just the hair it’s what’s under it, smh. Was your comment really even a question?? .…I can’t.

Mara112375
Guest

What the heck for? You’re telling me her hair was so coarse it couldn’t be managed any other way? And the child looks foolish with that bone straight hair. What message are we sending her at such a young age? I wanna see a pic of the mom. Hope she’s not one of those sad individuals with Blond hair and blue contant lenses.

Blacgirlost
Guest
First, my mother straightened (pressing comb) and later permed my hair since I was…well, before I can even remember. But at least from five years forward. I don’t recall receiving the message that my hair wasn’t ok. My mother took excellent care of my hair until well into adult hood. I mad the decision to go natural and later to perm and then back to natural. All with her hands to care for it. I dare to say, she took better care of my hair than of me and I never received the message that my hair wasn’t “good enough”.… Read more »
Rose Red
Guest

People like you are part of the problem that BP have you showed zero sympathy with that baby, I feel sorry for you!! That is a clear cut case of child abuse.

Zanthe
Guest

You need to calm down. Sounds like you’re misinterpreting what Blacgirllost said. Looks like she doesn’t agree with straightening a baby’s hair from the above comment.

zimza
Guest

Thanks for your honesty Blackgirlost. I also think that the mother’s decision was foolish and unwise, but beyond that, we cannot judge her.

Barbara
Guest

Of course we can, I’m JUDGING all day and all night, where did this idea that no one can be judged no matter what their actions ummmm since when? I can’t mete out justice but damn right I’m judging this imbecile.

EG
Guest

Let the church say AMEN

zimza
Guest

The church says, in fact Jesus says, “DO NOT JUDGE… JUDGEMENT IS MURDER.” Jesus is the wisest man who ever lived and I’ll take his advice and not yours.

EG
Guest

If you think I will ever be swayed by a fake christian like yourself you are sadly mistaken. Some of the worst people I have ever met go to church every Sunday.
so like I said, LET THE CHURCH SAY AMEN

zimza
Guest

Let the church follow Jesus, as one body in love, as Jesus preached.

zimza
Guest

I would urge any christians who feel moved by what has happened to this child, to pray for her rather than judge her mother.

EG
Guest

Um yeah, you can read the response above.…

Zs
Guest
The church says, in fact Jesus says, “DO NOT JUDGE… JUDGEMENT IS MURDER.” Jesus is the wisest man who ever lived and I’ll take his advice and not yours.” No. He didn’t say judging is murder the Bible says hating someone in your heart is like murder-which makes sense as that tends to be the first step-( 1 John 1:15). And being angry in itself isn’t even a sin (Ephesians 4:26). It is possible to be upset by an act and not hate the person. Besides, Jesus did plenty of judging and tells us to. John 7:24 says to judge… Read more »
EG
Guest

Nice to meet someone who knows their stuff.

Dani
Guest

Thank you. I’m so tired of seeing people misuse the Scriptures proscribing judging.

NikNak
Guest

Your mom may not have verbally said your hair was bad, but the fact that she was using a permanent relaxer on your hair from before you can remember is an indirect way of saying she prefers your hair straight than nappy. It’s not her hair, yet she relaxes it for what purpose? It would be one thing if this was really about style but when you use a permanent method to alter someone’s appearance that means you are trying to CHANGE someone.

Rhea
Guest

If it was all that, they have baby wigs that babies use in those pageants. But really this is just silly. Nobody is checking for a baby’s hair. Some babies her age don’t even have hair! People aren’t gonna be like, “Wow your baby is so cute, but WHOA her hair is NAPPY!” Momma needs professional (psychological) help.

LivinLifeNapturally
Guest

I get the distinct feeling that this “mother” is very young. Not that it is an excuse but her complete ignorance of how inappropriate this is or how dangerous this is leads me to that conclusion. Who even thinks to do things like that?

Naturalallday
Guest
I don’t think it right at any age. When i was young I also fell victim to society feeling like my hair needed to be relaxed to fit in. I also fell victim to damaging my hair. I am now a responsible adult with a 15 year old of my own. And she also has never had a relaxer and I let her know everyday of life that she is a beautiful, intelligent, strong young African American women. However she is the reason that I am natural today how can I explain the importance of being yourself, and being happy… Read more »
coffeeandfingernails
Guest

I agree with others–this is more fundamental than the question of whether you choose to alter your child’s hair texture or not. I remember my scalp being burned with a flat iron even after I was old enough to sit still. On an infant, I can’t imagine taking that kind of risk. Her response to the friend who asks whether it’s safe “It’s just her hair” is maybe the most disturbing part–like she didn’t ignore the risks, it just didn’t occur to her that there were any.

Imeena
Guest

This is inappropriate. The mother needs to reevaluate what she’s doing before child services come in. I don’t really care about hair at a older age, straight, curly, coarse. It all depends on the person and who they are. I say a person’s hair can also tell a lot about a person. But this… Is just unforgivable.

Melissa
Guest

While I don’t condone straightening a baby’s hair…I do have a different take on it. Some women treat their daughters like little baby dolls. They want to dress them up, do their hair, put nail polish on them, etc. I think she viewed it very innocently. I know some moms who are quite over zealous braiding their daughters hair to the point where the baby is already suffering from thining/receding edges…and I think to myself “really?!” Ultimately everything you do should be in the best interest of your child.

Rose Red
Guest

Another apologist and another lacking empathy for an innocent baby you are making excuses dang even black women don’t have love for an innocent baby!

Zanthe
Guest

Now you are just trolling. How is one woman’s decision to look at the mother’s possible motivations objectively a sign that black women here don’t have sympathy for and empathy with this baby?

Elle
Guest

That’s what I thought at first — but I didn’t really think about the baby not sitting still and the high potential of burning her child (I’m rarely around babies). I’m glad the baby is okay and this woman needs mandatory parenting classes.

Phanie
Guest

There are many people who need parenting classes for many reasons. What makes you sure she needs it? Though we may think of it as silly for her to have done that, it’s understandable to want to do your children’s hair in different ways. I am going to assume she took ad much precaution as someone braiding a child’s hair. Just because you see one small thing happen doesn’t mean you rule that person out as a parent. Can you imagine someone continuing on straightening as they burn their child’s head every two seconds? Highly unlikely.

Rain
Guest

This is just wrong one false move, one slight sway of her head and she could have had a horrendous accident that could have fatally injured that child.
You seriously have issues if you feel the need so desperately to straighten your 4 month old baby’s hair you can bring a flat iron/hot comb or whatever appliance used to your baby’s head. There are more important things that need to be considered at that age then her texture. *I’m appalled!*

AfroKisses
Guest
While my child’s(when I have one) hair will not be straightened as long as it is my choice and not hers. Straightening a baby’s hair definitely isn’t exactly the same as straightening an older child’s and while I am an advocate for natural hair and don’t think that it is sending a good message when you say that a child’s hair MUST be straightened. I think it is pushing it to accuse a mother who straightens her child’s hair of being a bad mother(which I have seen done more than once online). My mom gave me my first relaxer at… Read more »
Rachel R.
Guest
Okay I’m really ticked off now. Lets get to the point. Lets get it out on the table and YES someone is going to get mad what I have to say. All the this maddness starts at home. It begins with our grandmothers and they’re mothers before them which has been handed down generation after generation that our hair is ugly. If the mothers and fathers of the 21st century can not teach there children to love the beauty that is within them. Who do we keep blaming? Sorry but this pic really upsets me. Thats only a baby and… Read more »
J
Guest

I totally agree!

chevis
Guest

Yes it its wrong what the mother did, BUT instead of name calling maybe some research could be done to help this mother. Find out who she is and instruct her on proper and improper hair care.

Rose Red
Guest

NO. BP are so ashamed of saying that another BP is incorrect that is clearly child abuse. If that was my family I’d drop a dime so quick their head would spin, goverment sponsored parenting classes are most def in order!

Mia_p
Guest

I agree with you, these people who are criticising the mother are shameful. Yes the mother is wrong for straightening the baby’s hair but there is no need for child protective services to get involved. The mother simply needs some guidance because I am sure she is a young mother, a teenage mom maybe. Help the mother so she could make better decisions in regards to raising her child.

EG
Guest

THe only thing shameful is not being willing to call a spade a spade. What makes you think the mother is open to hearing what we have to say? Let’s stop pretending that everyone knows how to be civil. A young mom on a bus received some of the guidancce you speak of for talking to her child like it wasn’t ish, her response? to call her people and have them shoot up the bus.…that’s the kind of ignorance that is out there.…so no, i’m calling child services, you can guide her after they take her kid.

Heart Curly
Guest

She needs some serious help. Poor baby :(.

KaraJ
Guest

This is ignorance in the most pure form. I mean what is her reasoning, for having a 5month old hair straightened. I really don’t get it but like I said ignorance.

true_beauty
Guest
I believe that this has absolutely nothing to do with how this person feels about their natural hair. I do agree however, that this must be a young mother, but to her, this baby is like a doll, or a new toy for her to dress up and play with. Like one of the other commenters said, she is so immature, she was not cognisant of the possible consequences or repercussions of her actions. When asked if she straightened the baby’s hair, she virtually laughed, indicating her ignorance of the severity of the situation. This must be a child, with… Read more »
true_beauty
Guest

Attacking*

Rose Red
Guest

The mother and the entire community who think this is nothing deserve public shaming I mean dang nobody even mentions the feelings and rights of an innocent baby, I swear, some BP are very coldheart and unsympathetic towards black girls.

V
Guest
And you are clearly not listening. I believe that true_beauty does feel sorry for the baby, and I believe most people would, BUT! She is saying that the focus shouldn’t be on shaming the mother. Also notice that there are 4 people who like the picture, so that means that 4 people that she is (probably) close to like that her baby has straight hair, and don’t give a damn about the consequences to that baby’s head. So not only does the mother herself need guidance, so do the people immediate to her that could(do) influence her decision making. So… Read more »
Kai
Guest

WOW! This is really disturbing and extremely ignorant! What is wrong with people in this world? How did she get a 4 month old baby to sit and straighten her hair? That is extremely dangerous and sad. She needs help and I agree this is child abuse. This is a baby not a damn doll. I’m sorry but black women and our obsession with straight hair is getting really ridiculous! I will pray for that child.

Vonnie
Guest

My mom wouldn’t allow me and my sister to get relaxers until we were about 14. One, to mentally understand what we were getting, and two, she knew that the younger you are your scalp and hair is not fully developed, and didn’t want us with permanently damaged hair.

I’ve heard of children MUCH younger get their hair straightened/pressed/relaxed and think it’s just dishearting. To unvoluntarily put someone in a position where there can be any physical harm is sick. It isn’t nor can be THAT hard to do natural hair.

LillianMae
Guest

This can’t be real.

If it is true and she used a hot comb, IDK how the child wasn’t burned. How’d she get her 4 month old to sit through a hot comb session?

If she relaxed it, how did her child sit through the relaxer application and the rinse out without get relaxer in her eye when she was washing it out…

I hope this is a work of Photoshop and not utter ignorance and stupidity.

Nina
Guest
Um…let me reiterate what Thick Nigerian hair said, because it really shuts down all debate for me: “This means the protective barrier–the skull–is not covering everything and not fully ossified.” Chemicals, hot combs and flat irons shouldn’t touch this child’s head. It’s beyond scalp burns…the child’s brain is not completely covered, so exposing her scalp to anything hot, sharp or caustic is dangerous. Anything that could poke, burn or leech into her scalp could also impact her developing brain. So, if you know a mom like this, while it’s great to carry messages of self-love and empowerment, if you could… Read more »
binks
Guest

I agree with those who stated this isn’t about natural vs. relaxed hair or what is good hair vs. bad but an inexperience and obliviously young mother who is treating her kid like a doll…either way this is not okay.

Thick Nigerian Hair
Guest

Side note: who are the 4 ignorant people (well we know one person) who liked that Facebook photo? For real? Apparently the company she keeps are like-minded.

Janice
Guest

Silly choice. No reason for it. We have to start loving ourselves for how God made us. The child has a lot of hair that probably had beautiful curls. It’s a shame.

reese
Guest

One of my friends posted a picture of her daughter on FB with her hair flat ironed when she was 16 months. She received a number of positive comments and peopled laughed at me when I showed some concern. One person even had the nerve to (seriously) ask whether it was a relaxer! At 2, her daughter retrieves the flat iron and asks her mother to “maker her hair pretty.”

AC
Guest

This is why it’s wrong smh..the self esteem of that 2 year old may not be going anywhere but down.

Reanna
Guest

I think once the child is too young to vote she’s too young to do those kinda things to her hair. That’s just my humble opinion. I want that my daughter learns to appreciate her own hair. If she chooses to do anything to it after that that’s her choice but I want her to value what she has 1st. That’s just me.

Leo the Yardie Chick
Guest

>_ Poor baby. I’m still haunted bythat video of a four year old with that giant relaxer burn scar in her scalp. Her idiot caregivers started relaxing her at 9 months (wtf?!), and she may be bald for life. Children, especially black children, have a lot of crud to face in this world; they don’t need their folks’ ‘long, flowing hair’ hang-ups thrown on before they can walk.

AC
Guest

This is just wrong in every way, bad for the baby’s development physically and eventually when she’s old enough to understand..mentally. My child will NEVER see a relaxer or flat iron while under my roof.…maybe some giant rollers for special occasions but that’s as far as it goes. UGH and the straight hair doesn’t even look good…really “mom”? Poor baby, and poor mom for her views on beauty being that strong that she felt the need to do this to a baby smdh.

Alice
Guest

Eeek! 4 months is TOO YOUNG for any hot tool near a head. And if that’s a relaxer…Someone needs to call child services immediately. Those chemicals on a scalp just beneath skull that’s not full formed may do some serious damage. And how on earth did she get a 4 MONTH OLD to sit still long enough for her to do this without hurting her!?

Erika
Guest

She probably did it while the baby was asleep, I’m hoping. But still, what a stupid thing to do. I actually flat iron my daughter’s hair, she’s 4, but only when I need to trim the ends. Never bone straight or close to her scalp, just the last inches of her hair cuz it’s waist length. So I guess everyone can judge me now.

Rita
Guest

How old is this child’s mother??? And where was the Grandma and Great-Aunties who shoulda whopped her tail when she mentioned this?? Cause I know she had to say something..nobody is that bored!!!

J
Guest

+10,000

Rita
Guest

And who are the IDIOTS who actually liked this pic???

Mary
Guest

1) That child is way too young to have her hair straightened. It’s just plain WRONG.

2) I’m concerned about how the article puts straightening and relaxing in the same category. They are not the same. If I have a 15 year old daughter who wants her hair straight every once in a while, how is that telling her that her hair texture is ‘not good enough’? That is in no way the same as straightening a BABY’S hair.

There are naturals who straighten their hair every once in a while, or constantly…do they hate their hair or themselves?

Lisa
Guest
Sorry, but I am horrified by this! Just to think that she brought such a hot instrument so close to her baby’s head is frightening!! One false move and it could have been a serious burn on baby’s head! Secondly, what is so wrong with a baby’s hair at 4 months old that she had to straighten it? Is this woman ok? I know someone who always used to wash her baby’s hair with warm water until she decided to use a recommended baby shampoo. She said that after just one wash, the texture and softness of her baby’s hair… Read more »
trist
Guest

I just want to speak fast and say people HUSH UP stay out of others parenting business. Unless you see some physical damage done to the child dont worry. The babys appearence wont kill her

Gee
Guest

why are you going to wait for physical damage before someone should speak up about this idiotic behaviour? only when the child is hospitalized with second degree burns should anyone dare comment?

pattirn68
Guest

I just relaxed my dtrs hair for the 1st time last month. She is 4 years old but when she was born, i never would have thought of giving a relaxer before she had reached middle school, but her hair grew so fast and so thick that every day became a traumatic experience for her and me. She is already tender headed and cried as i tried to come thru the every knotted hair, even though i kept it in 2 braids everyday. But 4months old is a complete different story. Wha if she got burned.

minnie
Guest

why wasn’t cutting it an option?

Loni
Guest
I’m not understanding why this is so outrageous, chemicals are worse than heat, babies (especially in hot countries) are exposed to heat all the time. As long as the mother was being careful, why is it such a problem? And how does this relate to self-hate? Maybe she just wanted to see how her child’s hair looked when it was straight. Yes personally i wouldn’t straighten my child’s hair but that’s cos i don’t see the need or have no interest seeing her hair straightened since i LOVE curls, but saying negative things about the women just cos she decided… Read more »
nicki
Guest
the woman should be in jail — she deserves the negative comments. children in hot countries wear afros until they are old enough to sit still and then get kiddy perms. when one appreciates the thinness of an INFANTS skin and other layers of the scalp then can they realise the serious danger to this child — meningitis, actual brain trauma and yes I am a doctor — if I had seen this child in my consulting room it would have been a serious issue. Children are not toys, anyone who has lived with a four month old knows that… Read more »
Sophie
Guest
Heat from a hot climate cannot be compared to the heat of a hot comb! First of all, flat irons have 3/400 degree settings, and second, people in hot climates protect their small children from the sun (my parents are West African, and they don’t mess with getting too much sun!). The heat can burn an adult’s skin, so it’s too risky to put it near a squirmy baby. I don’t think it’s really a self-hate thing or whatever, but what most people have said: an immature mother who is treating her baby like a doll. She needs some parenting… Read more »
Coconut And Cream
Guest

:O

isola
Guest

That is sad. my mother started pressing my hair when I was 8 and that was an awful experience. It is hard to grasp how a 4 month old could sit through that. the mother must have done it when she was asleep. Wow her hair won’t get a break at all.

Mac
Guest
This is not abuse, but it’s too dangerous and could become abuse if the baby wiggles or shifts. This makes it a very stupid thing to do — far too risky on thin and sensitive baby skin. The reason I don’t go so far as “abuse” is that there is a thick cartilage membrane over the space. I don’t think heat alone would bother that soft spot. You don’t want to go dropping the kid, but the child is not without protection. However, any heat that’s enough to hurt the child’s internal structures is going to burn the bejeezuz out… Read more »
splendid
Guest

Ds wickedness of d highest…aw come fr a-4 month baby, which I know d baby will ova cry nd get temperature sef. Na by force to do fashion? Why cnt she do dt wen d baby s in d womb(wh I know s impossible) fr her nt to wait fr d baby to mature…d baby’s skin s still tender can’t witstand d heat or chemicals been exposed to…pls women, ladies beware of ds crazy fashion world…God help us…Amen!!!

Precious
Guest

That poor child’s ears are pierced too! Much too young for any of this mess. SMH at this ghetto stupidity in 2012. Her mother must be a crack baby. Things have gone sharply down hill for blacks since the crack epidemic of the 80’s. Now those crack babies are having kids. When will it end.

Black American Princess
Guest
Black American Princess

What’s so ironic to me is as soon as I clicked on this link, I noticed the big ole Dark & Lovely Relaxer Ad claiming to have your hair looking like it was JUST-relaxed.……WTF????

Nini
Guest

lol. Mine is for Pink Luster. “For hair that’s silky, shiny, and soft to the touch.” But the good thing is that most of the women or girls who come to this site are doing it to learn about natural hair, so a few relaxer ads aren’t bad. But yeah, it is ironic.

BlackAngelPlayah
Guest

I know right? Mine was for Dark and Lovely as well.

Anyway, what kind of idiot even WORRIES about straightening a baby’s hair? Babies usually have soft, curly hair anyway. What someone with her/the father’s mentality would call “good hair”. This is very confusing. And then.. I just…

I just can not.… >_

juanita617
Guest

You made me laugh with that .… >_ … I feel your frustration though.

N Francis
Guest
This is disturbing. There’s no way this was done without causing discomfort to the child. In addition to feeling sympathy for the child, I feel for the mother. What on earth was she thinking/or feeling that motivated her to do this to her child. Did the baby’s texture embarrass her? I do think this is a form of child abuse just like parents who let their children overeat to the point of obesity. Yes, there are worse ways to physically harm a child, but straightening the hair of a 4 month old baby seems to only be the beginning of… Read more »
phanie
Guest

I think the mother was just playing around with style. Nothing wrong with that. Now, had it been chemically alerted, that would be saying, ” your hair isn’t good enough”. We don’t know what the case is, so I’m assuming she’s a caring mother who wanted to know what a baby’s hair would look like straightened.

imani
Guest

?

Vee
Guest
What does it matter if it was straightened by chemical means or by heat? One stays longer that way than the other. Sometimes there it no upside to things. It just is what it is. Why couldn’t she wait to see her child’s hair when she got older? That is an INFANT. There is no excuse for that behavior. I’m sorry, but where does it end? If it’s child abuse, then doesn’t the child deserve to be taken away from the mother. If the mother is mentally ill as suggested by ‘Phanie’, isn’t it agreeable that the people to throw… Read more »
juanita617
Guest

I think using heat so closely to a baby was dangerous enough on its own. I’m a new mom and you just wouldn’t want to take the chances on accidently burning your precious baby.

shame
Guest
Reading some of these comments, I can see why so many black children today have no future. I’m starting to believe a large portion, maybe even a majority of black women have no business being mothers, and if you think this is anything short of child abuse, you’re one of them. So putting upwards of 300°F on a squirmy, soft spot on a not fully developed head of a 4-month old little BABY is not that bad? As long as it looks “nice”, huh? What’s a little pain and discomfort as long as the hair is “on point”, right? That’s… Read more »
Naturalallday
Guest

I agree with you totally. That. Child is not a doll

Randomosity
Guest

What she said because for her to even say “it’s just hair” made me cringe.

kim
Guest

I so agree… My daughters are 9 and 11 and i still have a problem putting the flat iron in their hair

juanita617
Guest

Thank you! My point exactly. You do not put a BABY in danger like that. This is a baby, not a child who knows how to sit still.

Phanie
Guest
You have some incredibly misplaced anger, ‘shame’. To say it is the mentality of most black women to treat their children wrong for the sake of looking good is crazy. To think we who are not assuming this woman is mentally ill are crazy our ourselves is immature. You have no idea what this person did to get that result. Would you seriously turn them in without knowing?Every black person has no direction now apparently? What are you saying in your rage? I’m sure there are things parents of every color has done that doesn’t dictate a decline in everyone… Read more »
shame
Guest

If that wasn’t the mentality of most black women, than most littkle black girls wouldn’t be walking around with chewed up, burnt off, neck length relaxed hair, tight ass braids, or increasingly, weaves. It is what it is.

How else do you straighten kinky hair like that but with harsh chemicals or harsh heat? If you know another way, you should patent it and get rich off all these other clueless self-hating Negroes out here.

Dramaqueen
Guest

Would I be wrong or should the mother be arrested for child abuse? This is not a good thing to do to a four month old.…physically it had to be hot and uncomfortable and emotionally (my hair isn’t good enough to be worn as is.…and it is soooo bad that my mom felt the need to straighten it out when I was 4 months old)!!!! It’s so heartbreaking that I was praying that it wasn’t true when I clicked on the link…

Patricia
Guest

My take on this is it does not matter what we think or say. It has been done. I would hope not again. I would not do that.

NicciNaturale
Guest

+1

Princess
Guest

Wow that is totall messed up. I agree that this is a form of child abuse, because if a mother can do this to a 4 month old baby what will she do as she gets older. 4 month old isnt even developed yet and the mother is worried about how her hair looks. Who gives a crap.

Keikimummy
Guest
As the mother of an eight and a half month old child, my reaction to this is SAFETY, SAFETY, SAFETY!!!!! Trust me, an infant that age CANNOT sit still, and even if she tried it while the child was sleeping, that would still be a clear VIOLATION of the child’s needs and wellbeing, because SLEEP COMES FIRST!!! I don’t think calling this child abuse is an overestimation, but for the sake of semantics, I’ll call it CHILD ENDANGERMENT. Her skull is soft, first of all, and at that age it may have not one, but TWO holes (fontanelles) still open.… Read more »
Keedy
Guest
I 100% totally, absolutely agree. I have a 1 and 1/2 year old baby girl and when I first saw this, my first thought wasn’t on the image of non-acceptance of her hair texture, my first thought was of how DANGEROUS this is. How could you even think of putting that type of heat and stress on a 4 month old’s SOFT SPOTS?!?!?!?! As you stated, she probably still has two soft spots at four months old. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I don’t condone it for a child who is 4 or 5 years old either for that… Read more »
Jasmine
Guest

Sickening. Just sickening. My stomach literally turned when I saw this. I remember even as an eight year old, hating the hot comb. People defending her…seriously?? Come on. We’ve got to do better.

angy
Guest
Well, I cant condone this on a baby this young, I kinda understand what the mother was thinking. I am black and I have never known how to take care of my hair. When I had a girl…mixed…I didn’t know how to take care of her hair either. Each hair comb was a struggle so by age 10 I put a relaxer just to make it easiser to get the comb through. Even 10 is to young but the desperation you feel at not knowing how to take care of your and your kids hair is really daunting. This does… Read more »
TBIS
Guest

I feel like if she didnt know how to take care of daughters hair she should have invested time in finding out how to take care of it instead of taking the painful easy way out.

Seriously
Guest
I see what you’re saying about your daughter, but I’m 14 and I have more common sense to knw that if the baby is 4 months there’s not much to it than to easily comb it and add a bow so ppl knw it’s a girl. Her mom knew better, it’s not like she was 10 and on her way to school for picture day .., no she is 4 , not 4 years but 4 months , not fully developed , and has soft spots in her that if the flat iron or whatever she used would have touched… Read more »
Ms. Polo
Guest
I feel what everyone is saying. This lil girl didnt need her hair to be straightened. Shes a lil baby! Who cares about a baby’s hair. Many in our own neighborhoods promote good hair not nappy. Whatever this mom’s reasoning for doing this is not a concern. What she did was wrong for a child that young. Arguing over what shes done is pointless. Promote beautiful babies with whatever type of hair they were born with. As for moms who perm their children’s hair, theres nothing wrong with wanting nice looking hair. Dont bash yourself in the head for wanting… Read more »
starla
Guest
What are you talking about, Ms Polo? There is no way, no how, no justification, it is disgusting, ignorant behaviour. ” As for moms who perm their children’s hair, theres nothing wrong with wanting nice looking hair. Dont bash yourself in the head for wanting your child’s hair to be long or just straight”. SERIOUSLY?!! The whole point IS our hair IS beautiful AS IT IS, doing that to a child of any age, sends the wrong message to that child. Apart from all the danger aspects, the damage to hair and scalp. “Bash yourself for leaving the perm in… Read more »
juanita617
Guest
I just wanted to say that relaxed hair requires maintenance also. This maintenance will require an alotted time of the parent. Detangling is made easier on relaxed hair but damage still occurs with split ends and breakage. Trust me, I was a child with relaxed hair and have seen many other black girls in elementary school with the back of their hair sticking out of their tiny high ponytail due to massive breakage. Just wanted to point out that relaxing your child’s hair doesn’t necessarily make things easier on the parent. Other point…this was simply dangerous to have heat near… Read more »
Michaela Patton
Guest

This is very disturbing, she needs to think about the well being of her baby and not how hard it is to manage her hair because all this baby needs is a good moisturizer and a head band.

Mrs G
Guest

Dont get this at all. The only reason to straighten a child’s hair is if it is so unmanageable as to cause distress to everyone concerned if it isn’t. At 4 months this babys hair should still be pretty soft. A hot comb on a tiny baby’s head is not a good idea. Silly mother for doing this.

lthurm
Guest

I totally agree with you “Shame.” And if you’re in a rage, so am I. Totally in agreement with you, 100%.

tigerlily
Guest

I’m not condoning straightening or relaxing a 4 month old’s hair or any young child’s hair. However, I would like for someone to enlightened me on why relaxing or straightening a child’s hair, preferably at an age where they can understand, let’s say 12 on up, is detrimental to their self esteem and self perception. Does that not go beyond what our hair looks like? And this isn’t just about children but women of all ages. Again I ask, What us the correlation between hair and self esteem?

starla
Guest
Tigerlily, Think of your favorite fairy tale… the heroine of the tale will mostly have long blonde sometimes but rarely brown hair, blue eyes, pale skin. As a child you read or hear these stories, you picture yourself as the beautiful girl, who has the happy ending, you will watch the programmes on the TV or films, but you see… the heroines, and the girls who are regarded as beautiful don’t look like you, the fairies and the angels don’t look like you, the princess doesn’t look like you, the message that reverberates is that you as a young black… Read more »
tigerlily
Guest
starla, I have done what you’ve suggested. I thought of my favorite fairytale back when I was a little girl. I adored Belle from “Beauty and the Beast”. She was pretty, smart, patient and selfless. In fact every Disney/Pixar princess character created, I loved. Most did not look like me with the exception of Tiana (Princess and the Frog) and Brandy (her role as Cinderella) but I do recall wanting to be like them for what they accomplished and not what that looked liked. I was a child fortunate to be blessed with a mother and father who paid more… Read more »
chocolate
Guest

@shame & lthurm: Did you not notice that the mother’s name is an ethnic-specific last name (i.e. Latin — Italian & Spanish, respectively)? So, let’s not try to discredit black women. You obviously lack observational skills and should refrain from passing judgment until you conduct your due diligence.

Areille
Guest

She’s tagging everyone she responds to, so that’s probably not her name. Also, you can be black and be from the Latin culture. Italian, Spanish ie Hispanic are not races.

NicciNaturale
Guest
My daughter is 13 and she has never had a relaxer. However, at 8 I gave her a texturizer to help me tame all of that hair. Now I wish I never did it. We have been straightening her hair via flat iron and I noticed some heat damage so I cut it off. She was upset even though it’s not short but I had to tell her she is beautiful and hair does not define her. I also told her there was no way as a mother I could walk around with a hair full of healthy hair while… Read more »
goyta
Guest

i’m wondering how she managed to do that without burning her? if she’s anything like my baby, i don’t see how she managed to keep that poor little girl still long enough to accomplish this horrible hair style. i feel for all children who have to go through all this at the hands of stupid parents.

imani
Guest
I cant believe some of the posts. If you want to play around with hair styles…get a barbie doll! You dont it on an infant! How can anyone justifty the lack of common sense this mother displayed? It isnt enough she probably has issues with her own natural hair (i seriously doubt shes rocking her own natural tresses…)so of course it would only seem logical and harmless to put an infant through the straigtening process JUST BECAUSE shes curious! This is sad. Mommy needs therapy bc she cant even let her child be…shes projecting her own body image issues onto… Read more »
Ree
Guest
It is definitely not okay to straighten a babies hair. Period. It is in fact different at age 4 or 12 or 8. The fact that this is even being posed as a question, as what’s the difference is astounding to me. If you are promoting natural hair that is your perogative. I relax my hair and straighten my 13 year olds. That is my choice. My daughter likes her hair either braided or pressed. If she decides that she wants it natural I would support that also. She is of a mature age to decide what it is she… Read more »
PinkyToes
Guest
It’s interesting that her response was “It’s just hair”. If I had an apple for each time I heard that my name would be Motts. If my body is my temple and my hair is on this body, it’s not just freaking hair. If there is age range to where you should and should not be doing certain things to it then it’s not just hair. Dang it! There are people that cannot have children that would be great parents and you have these fools walking around making babies like it’s nothing. Lord there are some things I cannot understand.… Read more »
rolanda
Guest

Disgrace…

Ms. Everbless
Guest

That’s really sad and disturbing, because u know for a fact that baby can’t sit still for too long w/ out moving what if she burned that poor child’s head w/ the heat from the flat iron.….sighhhhh this is one of those things that I think is far from funny.…God protect di yutes is all I can truly say.…

DICEY
Guest

THIS IS CHILD ABUSE!! She will be reported! This put a hot iron or strong chemicals next to a four month old’s scalp. A babies skull has not even hardened and sealed like an adult. Talk about frying a brain!

This woman I believe is worried about her infants hair and not about the safety or health of an almost newborn. I pity this ignorant black women and fear for her baby.

Brittany
Guest

I do agree that this mother was probably “playing” in her childs hair like we always do. In no way am I condoning flat ironing a childs hair but “child abuse” um I don’t think this child was physically hurt in ANY way by this style. Perhaps a little squirmy but then again there is not too much difference in this, or putting a million slicked back braids adorned with beads, bows and barrettes in an infants head. Its all too much if you ask me.

Cilla
Guest

In fact this woman is damn fool. Which idiot will harm an innocent baby. If the baby could speak, I know exactlly what she will be telling her mom (i need a sensible mommy idiot!!!!!!!! ) . This lady should start pre k to get reading lessions cos even a three year old knows there is an instructions on a toy box how much more a flat iron ( shame )

Cilla
Guest

Shame or whatever u r, this is not the mentality of blk women but of an ilitrate so dont hate. As for the pretty little baby, I pray her mom will stop abusing her n take very good care of her.peace

Hope
Guest
I think it’s ridiculous and probably dangerous to flat iron a baby’s hair. At that age, they have no sense of danger or fear of pain. I don’t even know how she got the child to sit still for this. I don’t see what the point of it was either. It’s not like the baby has her hair cut into a style. It doesn’t look cute at all. I just don’t understand. As far as straightening a child’s hair in general, I think that should only happen when the child has accurate knowledge about hair care and can properly straighten… Read more »
Leni
Guest

I think everyone is forgetting how delicate baby’s heads are. If Im not mistaking, babys still have soft spots at that young, and it shouldnt be a debate over condemning or condoning natural hair, but a discussion over the sacrafices to well being and the level pain women go through and put their little girls through to get the desired look

EdensCornerHair
Guest
Many people have asked what is wrong with relaxing or heat processing a child’s hair. The same thing that is wrong with doing that to an adults hair but magnify it by 100. Relaxers do not just sit on the scalp they penetrate and form a thick black/green layer onto the skull. They cause different health problems the longer you use them. Some people have reported severe migraines, seizures, etc. A mortician told me that when a body comes onto her table that is unidentifiable she can usually determine if she is a black female by the amount of burns… Read more »
rheely
Guest

Um..maybe it’s a bad idea because of the dangerous chemicals and or damaging heat that the ‘mother’ is exposing ths baby too. Forget natural or relaxed, who cares. But, where in heck is the common sense and maternal instinct?

Sosobim
Guest

Nothing is wrong with straightening hair in and of itself, but this is a health issue. The baby’s mole is still open, so she is more exposed to risk than a ten yr old.

Nia
Guest

What if she moved and it burned her. Im not going to straighten my kids hair until she is 7. Until then she is gonna rock her natural state before she wants a change. I would do wash and gos, braid outs, twist outs. etc you name it except heat or chemicals

autumnfaerie
Guest

7?!

Terrell
Guest

7? That makes no sense either. Try 17; at that point she can decide for herself what she wants to do with her hair.

CiCi
Guest

;_;

Caresscurls
Guest

This to me shows why most black girls complain about their hair not growing.

Marie
Guest

I agree! All these people talking about hair being hard to manage and their kids being tender headed. News Flash: if you start taking care of the kid’s hair instead of waiting until they become kindergartners, maybe it wouldn’t be so hard to handle. And for those with tender headed kids — stop pulling and braiding with all your strength. That stuff hurts! No wonder they’re tender headed. Duh.…

Yulonda Smith
Guest
While I agree that this is not smart! Using harsh chemicals on a child is terrible! However, I wish we would stop arguing about what adults do to THEIR own hair. I am natural because my hair is manageable and I like it this way but I do not condemn people who straighten their hair. Not everyone finds managing natural hair easy. It should be their choice. Other people with natural hair often frown at me because they ASSUME my hair is relaxed because my natural curl pattern is very loose especially when I use detangling conditioners. I don’t broadcast… Read more »
Billy
Guest

Some black women are plain stupid

Terrell
Guest

So are some white women. As well as Asian and Latino women. What’s your point?

Sarah
Guest
I find it interesting that so many people are upset about this but in the same breath speak negatively of Beyonce and JayZ letting their daughter run around rocking her natural hair. The picture of Jay Z holding Blue on her birthday that has circled around many social sites all have comments of how she needs her hair done even straightened. A child’s hair is so sensitive and not much should be done to it outside of washing and conditioning it. It is the parent’s job to teach their child how to take care of themselves but more importantly how… Read more »
Treasure
Guest

I absolutely agree. I honestly believe black people put too much importance based on hair and I think it’s time we this in perspective

shay
Guest
i agree with the writer straightening a baby’s hair is no different than straightening a 5 or 6 year old’s. But as long as you’re not doing it all the time/making it permanent I don’t think either is problematic… but that’s just it. “I think”. That’s just my opinion and I am not going to impose my opinion onto someone else. I think we invest way too much time and energy into whether hair is in its natural state or not. we segregate — girls with perms are judged by the natural sisters. naturalistas are judged by other cultures and… Read more »
Debria
Guest

I think we pass on other messages that our hair is not okay other than perms and straightening. Everywhere you look there’s women doing constant length checks, obsessing over another’s regimen, or curl pattern.I see plenty of comments like “I wish I had your hair” or “Can i give these hair growth pills to my 2 year old” Straightening your hair (if you think it is self-hate) is not the only bad message.

Donna
Guest
My daughter is 21 years old now. I started straightening her hair with heat at age 2. I did this because like myself she has thick, coarse hair that was extremely hard to manage. On top of that she she is very tender headed.I did this until I burned her forehead. It wasn’t long before I texturized her hair. This gave us both some relief. 4 months is way too young. My daughter was born with twice the hair in length and density as that baby. So my point is I did it out of necessity not because I felt… Read more »
K
Guest

I think the outrage in part also comes from the worry of burning the baby in the process of straightening her hair. The message is a concern, but to me it comes second to the risk factor.

Stephanie
Guest

I think and feel that 4 months is too young as well as 4 years old. Myself personally I didn’t get my hair relaxed till I was 7 because I hated to get my hair straightened. But now that I have a little girl of my own I’m going to leave it up to her if she wants to relax her hair or not.

Yasmine
Guest
I don’t agree with straightening the baby’s hair , but I don’t understand why it isn’t okay to straighten a child’s hair at 5 . I mean then cutting a child’s hair into a “mushroom cut” or a ” pixie cut” should be frowned upon . Some kids have very thick and literally unmanageable hair . How many black women remember getting their hair hot combed ? Hot combing made the hair easier to maintain . I don’t think there is nothing wrong with having permed hair . I am completely natural and I used to get relaxers every 3… Read more »
Tracy
Guest

I think this entire conversation reflects poorly on blacks as a culture. All black girls DO is talk about hair. I’ve never experienced such obsession about hair with other cultures as I’ve experienced with blacks. So much judgement; about whether hair is processed or not. “good hair” vs healthy hair. Blacks girls with NO hair are always judging black girls with long, fine hair; so they encourage that they “cut it off”. Too much discussion on healthy hair when you need to focus on healthy BODIES and MENTAL health.

ruby
Guest

Every culture does it. It’s just publicized more with blacks! ! So get off your high horse and stop making this a race thing. It’s Parthetic.

Shonta Y
Guest

My natural is beautiful

sum21
Guest

Nevermind the insecurities and hair issue. Let’s talk about the baby’s safety. That’s the diffrence between using any heat on a child this young and a 15 yr old. Come on now, that’s child abuse!

Coley
Guest

Honestly I see no issue here. A mother can style her child’s hair as she pleases. There’s no chemical danger. I curled my Lil ones ponytails because her hair was so super straight.
Why not? It’s not defining, merely presenting an option. We all know that as tweens we experiment with our appearance, so why not demonstrate alternatives, as parents, that we like and are familiar with? Then, they’ll know more about it and there’s less risk of injury or hair loss.
Just my angle.

nikki
Guest
Saying that mothers are promoting a self image issue is judjudgemental. My daughter is 6 and her hair is thick thick thick curls that are hard to manage. I spend 3 hours braiding them every couple weeks. I constantly tell her how beautiful her hair is. She hates her “afro” because no one else in her class has hair like hers. I’m just innocently googling to see if flat ironing is an option at her age because of how much maintenence her curls are and how excited she would be to see her hair down and not up. To read… Read more »
Lynnquell Gardiner
Guest

Mental messages aside, there are obvious differences between straightening a 4 month old and toddlers hair. For one, that child’s cranial structures are not even entirely formed which could lead to obvious damages by applying pressure/heat to her hair. I see your point but before making the matter subjective it’s so important to view the matter objectively first. This is physically and potentially harmful and just completely unnecessary for that baby.

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