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True Life: I Wear A Wig Even Though My Natural Hair Is Tailbone Length

• Jun 4, 2014

by Cassandre of cassandrebeccai.com

Huh? Who in the world is screaming at me?? I heard the voice again.

Your hair F*#!’in ROCKS!!!” I looked around. It was then that I finally spotted the Caucasian male who had to poke his head out from the driver’s seat window, in traffic, to pay me that compliment. It’s probably been the 8th time today that I’ve received either an admiring look, an “I love your hair!”, or an “African queen” comment about my luscious afro as I walked along Pine Street. It’s a regular occurrence for me to get comments on my hair, but this time things are just a little bit different. My natural hair nearly reaches my tailbone in length.

Screen shot 2013-10-16 at 9.36.07 PM

See the length check video here.

However, that’s not exactly what’s bringing home the compliments. Today, I’m wearing my color 2, 10 inch Beshe wig.

cassandre beshe wig

That’s right. All the compliments about my hair are associated with the wig I’m wearing on top of it. A couple of weeks ago my mom came to visit us in Seattle.  Rather than going through the process of styling my thick mane after a sleepless night with baby, I thought it was a perfect time to wear my wig. Up until a few days before, I had never ever worn a wig, nor even considered ever wearing one. I was brought up with the idea that you should only wear your own, real hair. I had never worn faux extensions growing up and I first shared my interest in them when I wore Marley twists back in summer 2012

See my Marley twist video here:

When my mom saw me with my “new hair,” she had absolutely no idea that it wasn’t mine. She didn’t blink twice. Well actually, she did, but it was related to the length of the hair not the hair itself. An hour into our convo, I asked, “Do you like my wig?” She responded with a rather bemused look and asked, “Why are you wearing a wig?” Here’s what I told her in a nutshell

  • It’s convenient because I can achieve a pretty look without investing loads of time to styling because let’s be real, you practically have to schedule showers when you’re a mom and anything that’s an easy time saver is a God send.
  • I can satisfy my urge for a new look without a long-term commitment.
  • See #2 ?
  •  
    I’m in that stage in my natural hair journey where I feel I’ve arrived. I’ve finally embraced this lovely, kinky head of hair of mine and learned to nurture it so it has grown healthy and long. But, I want to have my cake and eat it too. I want the convenience and styling opportunities that wigs afford without having to compromise the integrity of my natural hair.

    Screen Shot 2014-06-02 at 1.43.52 PM

    Despite my resolve, I must admit- when complimented on my “hair” I feel a little torn and maybe guilty since I’m keeping up with a pretense that just isn’t true. I am in fact wearing a wig. I’m not gonna lie though, I hate when ladies feel compelled to ask you about your hair when they know it might not be yours just so they can shame you by sharing your business with every Tom, Dick and Harry. I say assume it’s hers until she tells you otherwise!

     

    What do you think of me “coming clean” and confessing to admiring strangers that my lush, 10 inch, afro is fake? Do you have any hang-ups about naturals wearing wigs and faux hair?

    Cassandre Beccai: Just another naturalista playing by my own rules!

     

    About Cassandre

    Just another naturalista playing by my own rules! Got hair that doesn't seem to grow past your shoulders? Check out my free Grow Your Hair Faster Video Course

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    55 Comments on "True Life: I Wear A Wig Even Though My Natural Hair Is Tailbone Length"

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    Courtney
    Guest

    Say “Thank you” and keep it moving 🙂

    Cass
    Guest

    ha! My husband very much agrees with this sentiment.

    Jeannette (Tyra's Nana)
    Guest
    Jeannette (Tyra's Nana)

    Cassandrea, IT IS YOUR HAIR! You paid for it! (smile) Jokes aside… Staying beautiful 24/7 under a busy schedule in your life, especially with a lil one is difficult for many. Choosing an alternative help and look an especially after receiving numerous compliments, why change the habit. Wear your hair in anyway you choose to please yourself. The pressure of “looking good” requires pleasing alternatives. There is no shame in the truth!

    Cass
    Guest

    Jeanette- you’re right. I remember feeling unattractive for a couple of months after having baby because I wasn’t able to take care of myself as I would’ve liked. The wig really helps me to stay true to me in the sense that I can out on a nice do and know that I look god without having to try so hard. Thanks for your comment 🙂

    Christina
    Guest

    I love it. I have no issues with how women choose to wear their own hair. It is fun to switch it up sometimes especially when you do not have the time to twist, braid, or pin up hair every night.

    Cass
    Guest

    I agree!

    Christina
    Guest

    Also can you post a link of the wig!

    Rinny
    Guest

    got you covered! It’s updated!

    SuzyQ
    Guest

    There is nothing wrong with switching things up a little.. If my twist out is still damp and I have to pick up my child then I’ll just pull out one of my “girls”..and poof I’m out the door. If some one says is that your hair I say yes I bought it so it’s mine! A natural hair journey can be however you want it to be. Just ignore the critics and enjoy yourself.

    Angela
    Guest

    Love it. I see nothing wrong with it. In fact as I type this…I’m sitting here with a wig on! I too get a lot of compliments when I wear my wigs…but I’m quick to say…this is a wig and audio naturale will be back real soon????

    Puff
    Guest
    It seems like black women are way more pressured to confess if their hair is real or not while white women can wear wigs or extensions and no one seems to bat an eye at it. I’ve actually had a black woman second look at my hair, squint at it and ask if that’s my real hair…it made feel like I had to prove something to them by stating yes. Also some white people seem to be bemused that they “know” about black hair and that black woman use extensions, wigs and relaxers etc. I’ve actually had a white acquaintance… Read more »
    Puff
    Guest

    Here’s some food for thought, do men feel pressured to tell someone they are wearing a toupee?

    Jo
    Guest

    Actually, that’s a good idea. Protect my hair from the elements and have a cute style with no work involved. 😀 I need to buy a wig, too.

    NaturallyNeesh
    Guest

    I have that same wig so I see no issue with it at all. Sad part for me is, the wig cap is too small for my head lol…any one know how to stretch it out? Love your youtube channel Cass!

    Cass
    Guest

    Thanks, girl!

    Queen
    Guest
    I’m transitioning, and I bought my first wig, and received a ton of compliments. At first, I felt conflicted, like “Wow does everybody like this more than my actual hair?” and I was a little bummed about that. But then I thought about it and realized that the wig wasn’t even THAT different from my natural texture in the first place, only “bigger” lol. Then I struggled with what I should say if someone paid me a compliment. I didn’t know if I should say “thank you” & keep it pushing, and be happy with how convincing it looked, or… Read more »
    Cass
    Guest

    I feel you on how it may seem people like the wig more, but it’s not so much that they like it more. The look of a wig in an afro will be much more attention grabbing than your natural hair in a low bun. I love that the wig allows me to wear “my” hair out!

    Queen
    Guest
    I guess at the time, I was thinking about how I typically wear my hair “out” even now, with flat twist outs & roller sets. I always get a lot of compliments but I noticed even more so with the wig, my first selfie with the wig got more likes than some with my real hair out lol petty, but it really got to me for a day or two until I realized my natural texture/twist outs are similar to the wig, just that the wig is bigger. Most people actually thought I just did something different style-wise with my… Read more »
    Cecret
    Guest
    OMG so glad for this article. It is funny because I have worn my hair natural, relaxed, afro style, long, short, and medium & I wear all kinds of wigs on days I’m lazy or if it is really humid out and I know there is no point in doing it. I have noticed when I wear a wig that looks like “black hair” everybody compliments me but if I wear anything else or my own hair which was long I can see the questions in their eyes. Some people ask and some don’t but I have realized no matter… Read more »
    arnellie
    Guest

    i agree with the first comment! why do so many ladies think its their business to know anyway? 🙁 to me, it’s uncouth!

    JenniD
    Guest
    This is an interesting topic and a VERY STRANGE phenomenon in the black community both here in the US and abroad. Wigs and weaves have become so common in the black community that if you don’t wear one people are looking at you funny. I’ve been asked “well don’t you get bored with your hair”? when I tell people that I don’t have any desire to wear faux hair pieces. Its just not for me. I get why black women wear them, its convenient, easy to switch up and can protect your hair and all that but I prefer not… Read more »
    Cass
    Guest
    hi JenniD! I know how you feel b/c I’ve felt exactly the same way before about wigs and weaves. I don’t think it’s just now trending to wear wigs and weaves, but this is something we’ve always had in our culture. In fact, it’s nothing new and dates way back. There are various ethnicities and cultures in Africa that traditionally incorporate vegetable fiber and other hair into their hair to achieve other hairstyles. There are even examples of this from ancient Egypt. I had the opportunity to see the royal mummies in the Egyptian Museum in Cairo, Egypt and guess… Read more »
    JenniD
    Guest

    Thanks Cass for the book reccomendation and Youtube link.

    The thing for me is its because I know our history on this side of the pond (USA) is the reason why I’m not so keen on wigs and weaves. Heck if ww were just copying what our ancestors were doing as a sign of beauty that would be a whole other ball game.

    Marra Joelle
    Guest

    This was cute!

    Jasmine
    Guest

    Do what you gotta do but I know one thing. I’m about to purchase this wig LOL! Its too cute!

    herlucidsky
    Guest

    Great article! Hopefully this will shed some light or give certain people a different perspective on why some women enjoy wearing wigs. That is one fierce wig!

    F2usacib
    Guest

    I wear “emergency wigs” very infrequently. I choose wigs that blend in with and mimic my natural hair and I do feel a little odd if someone compliments me in one of them. But sone women wear wigs or weaves everyday so I don’t know why it bothers me. I do find wigs are made too small for my head & I sweat terribly in my scalp so I can’t wear wigs everyday but if it looks good and fools folks and you like it, I say go for it.

    Nourisha
    Guest

    Im a fellow seattleite and I adore your hair. Rock that wig but tell me where you got it!!!

    lexibugg
    Guest

    I was just going to ask if she was a seattlite.…

    Monica
    Guest

    Hi Cass, I love this post! I clicked on the link for the wig, but yours is 1 million times more gorgeous. Did you cut the wig to get that shape, or just pull out the curls? Thanks in advance.

    Jacky
    Guest

    No girl, say thank you and keep it moving. Since the wig is actually similar to your hair texture in some ways, it doesn’t hurt to accept the compliments. Although I must admit, I feel so happy to know that people of other races are falling in love with afros and our natural hair texture. By the way, I love your real hair too Cassandra and I’m amazed at how long it has grown, you go girl!

    Shanna
    Guest

    Just say thank you. If they ask, tell the truth, if they don’t, don’t. If someone compliments something you are wearing, you don’t feel the need to tell them about your support bra and what brand of underwear you have on underneath. You say thank you. If they ask you where you got your outfit, then you tell them. Same thing.It is just something you put on and off. It does not define you.

    Karen J
    Guest

    It’s yours, you paid for it. I agree with Shanna completely.

    Amber
    Guest
    Depending on my mood, I may or may not say anything. I’m known my for changing my hair weekly at work, but people still get confused. They ask and I the real answer. When I’m about an about and a stranger compliments my hair, that is where it gets iffy. Just recently I went to one of those Hibachi Japanese restaurant and coincidently enough I was rocking the same type of wig as the author above (diff color though). The nice Asian hostess (with bone straight hair) complimented my hair and I said thank you. Then she asked me if… Read more »
    Poshnera
    Guest

    I used to get the “is it real” question from black people, but now I find that I’m getting it from non-blacks too. It’s a mixed experience, sometimes ppl of all races will just say I love your hair, but others have the nerve to assume and ask “is it yours” well if it grows out of my scalp it’s mine and if I pay for it’s mine. I wonder what has given ppl the nerve to ask that question. I don’t ask if their boobs or blonde hair is real.

    Cass
    Guest

    Ha! This is sooo me! Thanks for sharing!

    Kelcie
    Guest
    Finally!!!!!!! I thought I was the only one who did stuff like this. I wear natural hair wigs all the time. I have 4c hair and my hair frizzes and shrinks ALL THE TIME!!!!!!! I’ve grown tired of buying all the products, adding this with that, spraying this or using that. It got costly trying to fight it in this southern humidity (New Orleans). Now, I just wash, braid and put on a wig. Mostly half wigs and a little blending sometime. I love them!!!!!!!! When people give me a compliment, I gladly thank them. I never say “It’s a… Read more »
    Adía
    Guest

    I never tell anyone when I’m wearing a wig or a weave. It’s none of their business. it’s not like you’re at a hair convention or something and people should be asking

    Tabatha
    Guest

    Even at a hair convention its no ones business. Unless you ae selling it for a company, its not up for debate.

    Tabatha
    Guest

    You know either way, I think you look GREAT! My grandmother was the same way, but for her she just liked wigs. She thought that they were fun, but she also wore her hair out as well. I like it. The wig looks like it grew out your head anyways.

    deprogrammed
    Guest

    As long as you look good, just say thank you and keep moving. Unless they say “is that your hair?” in THAT way. Y’all know what I’m talking about.

    Alwina
    Guest

    I’m thinking about rocking a wig this summer, just to give my hair a break from styling. I’ve seen a few videos and done some research. At the end of the day, it’s none of people’s business! 🙂 Thanks for sharing!

    ***
    Guest

    No, you’re doing it for convenience! The only problem I have is when girls who clearly have had a perm within the past three months claim to be natural after getting a twist out or wearing curly weaves and such. It’s just not fair to those who have basically shaved their heads clean and grown themselves a full head of coils by taking the time and energy to maintain, embrace, and learn their hair’s personality, if you will.

    Diane
    Guest

    I personally think it’s a great idea and that for women who love to get to creative with their hair without actually putting their hair on the line, this is one of the best options. I mean, models do it all the time. There’s no shame in it, in my opinion, as long as it’s not a wig that looks crazy. If you find a wig (or several!) that you feel comfortable wearing, that looks good and that keeps your real hair protected and healthy, great.

    libby
    Guest
    Girl, that happens to me all the time because I normally wear weaves that match my natural hair texture and can be put up in a ponytail (I leave some of my hair out). People always say it looks so good and if they ask if it is real I tell them no it’s not. Most of the time they think I’m lying so I don’t try and prove them wrong. I just say thank you because that is what I was achieving a natural looking weave. Just recently I took it out and people asked me if I had… Read more »
    Carleee
    Guest

    Oh so now we’re lying about the fake hair on our head? Got it.

    Candy B
    Guest
    Wigs and weaves is just too hot for me. But I know a lot of naturals that rock a wig. Even Angela Davis rocked a big wig fro in the 70s and 60s. Its just not for me. I give my hair a break with up do’s and less manipulation. When I want a new look. I head to youtube where I find tons of styles to try. After I read an article about some of this human hair coming from dead corpses I let the idea of weaves go. I also wrote an ebook to help women grow their… Read more »
    Nina
    Guest
    This is crazy because I am in my “TWA is growing but it’s getting kinda boring & I want a new look” phase. I have not yet bought my wig but I am ordering it today or tomorrow. Since I’ve never even worn a wig, I’m a little nervous about it and I think it’s a true inner debate on whether or not to tell others. I think that, as stated, to just assume that her hair is hers! And although I am only in TWA phase, it would be convenient for me to just wear a wig and upkeep… Read more »
    wow
    Guest

    lol i have the same issues. i’ve actually had ppl ask my reggie. if it is a bw i just tell her it is a wig. if it is a bm i just smile and hold back laughter since he thinks its real.

    never had a nonblk ask my reggie.

    wigs are just far more convenient and less damaging. i don’t wear them as much anymore cuz i’m tryna save $$$ but i’m gonna get back to wiggin soon. afro wigs are a MUST for wig wearers with long hair. they hide the bulkiness of your hair underneath.

    Juanita
    Guest

    funny how you feel “guilty” for rocking a shorter style versus the long length you currently have lol. kind of backward 😀

    but i can understand where you’re coming from — especially since I’ve never worn a wig/weave before either. i imagine that it’s kind of like with wearing makeup. you don’t really bask in the compliments you get if you only get them when you have your face on (a reason I don’t wear makeup either lol).

    but like i said, i feel where you’re coming from.

    Tekiebelu
    Guest
    I have zero issue with anybody, natural or not, wearing a weave or wig and whether they confess it or don’t but I must admit that it makes it very difficult for me to decide whether or not to ask a woman about her hair & haircare routines if I like it. I’m a long-term transitioner (15 months into a 24 month transition, woot!) & when I was new to the natural game, I would see women sporting awesomesauce natural hair & when I would ask them about their regimens to get their hair so gorgeous, I would find out… Read more »
    Freedes
    Guest

    Honestly, I remember when I was growing up and most black people assumed my hair actually was a weave. They were always utterly shocked that is was actually my hair whether is was relaxed, wavy, twist out or afro. This was in Botswana and at the time, it was “NORMAL” to always have some sort of weave or concoction on your head, updated at least once or twice a week because hair dressing (and time) was so cheap.

    Maria
    Guest

    Why the need to lie though? I mean if it’s a wig, it’s a wig… It’s as if someone comes up to me and asks me “Is your hair real” when I’m wearing my natural hair and I say “No” lol! Why would I lie if natural hair is something to feel proud about?

    If you’ve got to lie about something then there’s something off about it

    moomoo
    Guest

    the compliment is really that “YOU are stunning”/“YOU look gorgeous with that hairstyle”, hence someone else with the same hairstyle might not receive the same compliment-take it and own it!

    Aliyah
    Guest

    Honestly I only worn a weave about 8 times in my life and I hate it . It was a wig about three times , a weave one time , and braid extensions 4 times . So now I wear my real hair in cornrows and never wearing a weave or wig again . Anyway you look gorgeous but I always wondered why naturals with long hair still wear weaves or wigs ? My grandma doesn’t but a lot of YouTube naturals do .

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