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I Cannot Carry Your Judgment’: Pregnant and Unwed NYC Pastor Says She Refuses to Be Shamed Out of the Pulpit

• Nov 17, 2016
NotCinderella.com Pastor Desiree Allen

NotCinderella.com
Pastor Desiree Allen

One of the chief criticisms of Christian culture is that it’s too judgmental. That sins are often ranked from ‘best to worst’ and judged accordingly.

So when Harlem, New York pastor Desiree Allen went public with her pregnancy and refused to stop preaching as a result of it, many commended her. Allen points out that male pastors often get women pregnant, but can continue to preach because their indiscretion can be hidden.

After the initial shock was joy. Yet, underneath something else was lingering. Anger? No. Disappointment? No. It was pure and utter dread. Not at being pregnant. Not at whether or not I would be a good mother. What had my stomach turning, other than nausea, was me being pregnant AND a pastor. Let’s face it. The church has not had a good track record of accepting unmarried women who got pregnant. If you’ve been in church for any period of time you’ve heard or witnessed the aftermath. Shunning, slut shaming, being sat down from your position, having to go up in front of the church and confess your sin, etc. etc. No one can be naïve enough to say this type of stuff doesn’t happen in church. An ugly truth is people in church leadership have sex outside of marriage, affairs, do drugs, drink, so on and so forth. Generally, these are not considered acceptable acts. BUT I have seen many churches turn a blind eye to this behavior, because it can be hidden. Don’t ask. Don’t tell. To be pregnant is a very visible indication of a private act and for some reason provides people with more of a need to respond.”

Ultimately Allen decided that she could not continue living in a state of shame and condemnation.

I realized I had some baggage and I wanted to deal with this pregnancy on my own terms regardless of how people felt or responded. In those first few months I decided I couldn’t carry the weight of others’ opinions and judgments including my own. I also had to confront the ways in which I judged others based on their decisions and actions. I decided I was going to walk with my head held high, because I was proud and excited to be pregnant. Often, when people think you’ve done something wrong or have sinned they want you to walk around with your head low in guilt. Otherwise, how would THEY know you were sorry? Well, I wasn’t sorry or ashamed. Shame and happiness cannot reside in the same place. I decided to only surround myself with those who had positive energy. I knew there would be rough days, but I also knew the good would outweigh the bad. So when the first comment was made about my pregnancy being an abomination I wasn’t bothered, because it wasn’t MY truth. Plus who uses abomination anyway? Can we say antiquated?

I had a choice on how to define my own happy and write my own story. I thought about the women who were belittled in their churches for being pregnant. The women who felt abortion was a better option than humiliation. The girl or young women of a pastor forced into abortion, because the family couldn’t handle the shame. The woman who left the church permanently because the members couldn’t accept her child. The woman who watched the same people who loved her each Sunday avoid her like a plague. The woman who would give up everything to be pregnant regardless of the circumstances and still finds her womb bare. So many women who may have made a different choice if they understood the power they had. If someone had told them, it was ok to make the best choice for them ignoring the outside voices. It would get better. They could outlive this. I understood what some people thought, what some scriptures said, but also the validity of my own experience.”

Allen’s church community ultimately surrounded and supported her, and she plans to continue preaching through the duration of the pregnancy, as well as after.

You can read her full story here.

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168 Comments on "I Cannot Carry Your Judgment’: Pregnant and Unwed NYC Pastor Says She Refuses to Be Shamed Out of the Pulpit"

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laolamvaed
Guest

ahh no,what is the problem that she is unmarried but has a partner right? becuase if that is the case, she needs a piece of paper to be. in wedlock? or is she promiscuous and don’t know who the baby daddy is? in this case get your behind off that pulpit. lol. this is a non story if she has a committed partner the end.

Taneesha Culture Clash Thomas
Guest
Taneesha Culture Clash Thomas

God bless u pastor…the sin was in the act…but the baby is a blessing regardless…no need to sit in judgment for 9 months to please people…as long as you’ve reconciled ur forgiveness with God…you’re good

Itumeleng
Guest

Ah, the white man’s religion again :sigh:

When will black people wake up?

Kinsmankid
Guest

White man’s religion. Really?

Granger
Guest

Christianity isn’t the white man’s religion lmao it was in Africa centuries before it went to Europe. Why do people keep saying this?

Crimea River
Guest

Because it wasn’t “in Africa centuries before it went to Europe”.
Roman Empire ruled over every country in that region before, during, and after Jesus’ life and death. Crucifixion was primarily a Roman custom. There is no way in hell (pun intended) that Christianity came before Jesus who lived under Roman (Caesar’s) rule.
Educate yourself, don’t pass on ignorance. If you read the New Testament, The Roman Empire is all up in there. Pontius Pilate was a Roman.

taylormade1
Guest

The Romans may have crucified Jesus but he was not White. You’re just prejudiced

Crimea River
Guest

I never said Jesus was white, I never mentioned anything about color. You have no idea what color I am but you call me prejudiced. Against who? And why?

Ria Pendergrass
Guest

Because they heard some other ignoramus say it. When they stand before God on Judgment Day, they won’t be talking that mess. ?

Glojean ShortStuff Flannagan
Guest
Glojean ShortStuff Flannagan

Study to show thyself approved.” People Christians because they believe and follow Christ.

4C-beautifully
Guest
The church is such a joke. Three months before she got pregnant I’m sure she was teaching and preaching that sex outside marriage is a sin. Then she too got busted. These preachers are such hipocrits. Male and female. Females aren’t supposed to be preaching anyway according to the very book they preach from. Church is a joke. A pick and choose what best suits you smorgasbord of a pyramid scheme. Bet the baby shower will be lucrative… In Jesus’s name. In the real world she shouldn’t be shamed. Christiandom however is an ever evolving world of whatever works for… Read more »
Kinsmankid
Guest

Did you have a bad experience at a church? What the deal?

michelle_mixon
Guest
I think we’d be hardpress to find anyone who HAS NOT had a bad experience from a church “the church”. I think God is trying to get us to separate him from man. Flesh will fail you everytime. Relationship with him is waaaaay more important than religion. Some people go to church religiously. Having a form of godliness.….we have to get our relationship with HIM right and it’s sad to say but it’s not found in the four walls of a church. Jesus spent very little time in the synagogues. There was so much hyprocrisy in the church. He was… Read more »
Yup, I said it
Guest

You act like Kandi is a Trump or a HIlton. Bob Whitfield make $30 million and its gone now. So I believe that yes she made coins in the 1990’s but it wont Rothchild type coins so those Bravo checks are nothing to shake a stick at.

Kinsmankid
Guest
You really didn’t answer my question, but that’s okay. Your choice. From my experience, church is not the horrible place that you make it out to be. My church and others like it do great things in their communities through ministries in education, health and serving the poor. We church people also comfort families in the time of death, service the sick and shut in and celebrate joyful times such and marriages and births. Having a personal relationship with God is most important. It’s good to be in fellowship with other believers. We can grow spiritually together and serve the… Read more »
Ria Pendergrass
Guest

*hypocrite*

Glojean ShortStuff Flannagan
Guest
Glojean ShortStuff Flannagan
The TRUE BELIEVER’S church is not a joke really. It is the folk that perpetrate a fraud that makes the supposedly house of God look bad. There are a few preachers that are serious about God’s Word and they do not play. The bible says “Study to show thyself approved”. I for one am very observant and will not sit under a preacher that does not take his position serious or teach according to the the bible. God is the judge of us all and those people that stand in the pulpit and lead God’s people astray will have to… Read more »
A.P. Millz-CT
Guest

LOL… this is why I can’t with so-called Christians.. She probably shamed a few women in the past for the same acts..

TWA4now
Guest

That’s a tough call. It depends on what church…some expose the sin and ask the person to “step down” for awhile. It’s not per day about judgement.…none are perfect…but accountability. I hope she and the baby are healthy.

AC Forver
Guest

t’s not that Christianity is a joke but the way people who proclaim to be Christians. People are doing whatsoever they like and triumphing it in the name of Christianity. Read your bible ! She is out of order for being a female preacher (not my opinion) but it’s in the bible.

TWA4now
Guest

It’s NOT about shaming her. When we mess up, God’s purpose and plan still continues in our lives.

Truthteller
Guest

This is a bunch of BS!!. How you gonna be a pastor and CHOOSE to get pregnant out of wedlock. Then turn around and condemn the church for believing what god said about it just to make yourself feel better? This is what you call selective Christianity or better fake christianity or she may not be a Christian at all. Just because you call yourself a preacher don’t make you a Christian. Real christians live to please God not themselves Thank goodness god loves unconditionally.

Gregston Griffith
Guest

I think she may gain popularity by doing so
My problem with this is that she is both judge and jury.
I have no problem her wanted to continued preaching but her attitude is rotten. The member should have make that decision
Had she come to the church and say I have sin and I want your forgiveness it woukd have been good
God didn’t removed David as king when he committed adultery and murder.
But David asked God to block out his transgression.
This is where the real difference is and God did punished David

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[…] “One of the chief criticisms of Christian culture is that it’s too judgmental. That sins are often ranked from ‘best to worst’ and judged accordingly.” ~ blackgirllonghair […]

MsQTcut3
Guest

??? This is exactly why I couldn’t wait to get away from Christianity and all its hypocrisy and foolishness. It literally takes a pastor to experience real life to exhibit any compassion and set aside shaming and condemnation.
This is like a theif preaching about all the sins but stealing, or a Killer preaching about everything but murder. Can’t we just put this obviously b.s religion business aside and exist as empathetic beings together?

Aaron
Guest
My dear lady, it is not Christianity that is hypocritical. It’s certain individuals who claim to be Christian that do hypocritical things. If you and I both examined ourselves, you’ll find that Christian or non-Christian we have personal standards that we ourselves fail to keep and make convenient changes or excuses to avoid acknowledging that. This woman may have failed to be accountable as a pastor by pointing the finger at male pastors messing up (some of them, not all) but she is not Jesus. Look to Him in His Word & what He did for you on the cross… Read more »
Melecia
Guest

Getting away Christianity is the worst mistake you could have made.…it is turn away from Christ who died for you…He is your only hope return to Him

VoiceofReason
Guest

People fail to realize that pastors are human. Their flock puts them “up there.” They are human and flawed, as we all are. I don’t have a heaven or hell to put her in.

Pamela Cotton
Guest

What does the Bible teach us about, adulterers and fornicators according to the Word the will have their part in the___________
unless they repent…

Mackenzie Irick Milks
Guest
Mackenzie Irick Milks
She shouldn’t be ashamed for getting pregnant outside of wedlock. I’m sure, as a pastor with a personal relationship with God, she knew what to do and what she was doing. She sounds like she made her peace with God about it. But I hope she repented according to whatever her faith dictates for the sin of sex outside of marriage. If leadership won’t repent and come to Jesus, why should anybody? I had my first outside of wedlock. I was excited and happy, but I still had to repent because (according to my faith) the child was conceived in… Read more »
Pamela Cotton
Guest

yes and amen…

Jennifer Griffith
Guest

Have you ever actually opened a Bible before? There are chapters and verses inside of it. And if you read them , you will discover how much nonsense you just uttered and why you have no clue to as to what a pastor should or should not do. Your opinion is completely irrelevant.

Lele215
Guest

yeah she’s a hypocrite but she’s in good company. The proper response to male pastors having inappropriate relationships with members of the congregation or conducting themselves in a manner not in accordance to gospel they decided to preach would be to fire them. Full stop. This is their example as a means to maintain her job. So much for the word.

Pamela Cotton
Guest

oops…

HeavnsGirl
Guest

Oh NOW she wants to examine the way she has judged women in the past. I hope she calls them up and apologizes to them. She also needs to ask God’s forgiveness and the forgiveness of her congregation bc I’m sure she preached against sex out of wedlock. No need to continue to carry shame but she does need to set things right. Saying “a lot of clergy do it” doesn’t sound repentant at all.

Melecia
Guest

True indeed

The Blogging Queen
Guest

Exactly.

maximilion
Guest

At the end of the day-if shes not married-she has committed a sin,she seems un-remorseful and points the finger at male preachers-the fact is none of these people are upstanding pillars of the church community-you can’t preach good and be doing bad,you can’t preach good to others when your not doing it yourself..she should stand down from her role,even just out of respect for the word of God.

teesa
Guest

Absolutely..

vwlover
Guest

While she makes excellent points about the double standards I still think it is wrong for her to preach while pregnant and it would be wrong for a male pastor to preach after committing fornication as well.

teesa
Guest
She needs to get out the pulpit. She should not be preaching , pregant from act of fornication. You wanna talk bible, preach bible. Practice what you preach. No one is saying be ashamed, but you must ask for forgiveness of your sin. You are not ready to be in the pulpit. You fornicated, (HadSex) and got pregant. Not married leading a Church. Girl if you dont step down. And putvyour face to the floor and plead for the Most High GODS FORGIVENESS. YOU KNOW THE TRUTH. You shouldnt hold your head downvor be ashamed, for what? YOU DID WHAT… Read more »
Pamela Cotton
Guest

yes

Melecia
Guest

True

Misty
Guest

Babies are amazing, no matter how they get here. God bless to mother and baby!

Joe
Guest

Charlie Manson, David Berkowitz and all others like them were all ‘amazing’ babies at some time too.

hidaya
Guest

I hope you have a healthy pregnancy and beautiful baby! Aint none of our business.… BUT if you are called to lead by example and to SET the example, be aware of the example. Young girls are watching! Peace & Love!

Old School Me
Guest

She and the organization she belongs to are wrong on so many levels. Oh well, the time is coming, (and it is soon), when God’s judgment will be carried out and those who call themselves ‘Christian’ but disregard scripture will face the heaviest judgment.

Ebenezer Templeof Zion
Guest
Ebenezer Templeof Zion

Two wrongs don’t make a right!!!! While she was having sex outside of marriage, she knew it was wrong and God allowed her sin and indiscretion to be exposed. You can not MOCK God by preaching His word while still in your wrong. The church is not a joke, it’s the people who claim to be Godly that are the joke. Didn’t Yeshua say, “I never knew you, you worker of iniquity”. The word of God is still holy, the harvest is plenty but the workers are few.

Teka Jay
Guest

Amen

Melecia
Guest

Amen

Sharon Wright
Guest

Amen

Jessica2248
Guest

Amen!

Kelly Nicole
Guest
This is a response coming from someone who is also a woman and in ministry. Although at this point in my life I’m not sexually active because I made a commitment to myself and God to wait until I’m married before engaging in sexual activity again, I’m not going to stand on my soap box and throw stones. I will say that the “judgement” and “criticism” that comes from the church is merely us holding each other accountable for what God has called us to do as believers. It’s easy to bash the church and say we’re judgmental, but a… Read more »
Monica
Guest

Well said …

Sarah Divine Garba
Guest

Thanks for being bold and truthful. God bless you and honour his word in your life

Teka Jay
Guest
Adult grown women and men don’t make mistakes when it comes to having a child that’s an excuse people hide behind the word mistake when you just need to take full responsibility of your Actions she is not being judged when you sit up in a pulpit & preach the word of God you are supposed to live a holy & separated life period you can’t do something wrong after preaching Sunday after Sunday to your congregation and go home and do all the things you just told your church not to do period you get pregnant purposely and now… Read more »
Ria Pendergrass
Guest

And we wonder why the Gospel is rejected by the world. Many of us don’t live any differently than they live, so why should they listen to us?

When we come to the place where we can’t RIGHTEOUSLY judge the ACTIONS of one another (which Jesus and the apostle Paul commanded we do, in love); we cease being the Church Christ called us to be, we have removed Him as Head, and become our own god (small case “g”). ?

The Blogging Queen
Guest

I’m not a Christian but my mother is and I can tell you right now that she would have been SUPER proud of your response. I’m telling you, it was like reading something she would say.

Rev. Joe C. Smith
Guest

I am so proud of you, I concur with your entire summation. Rev. Joe C. Smith

Amber
Guest

Your comments sound like judgment not accountability. Maybe she was the one who didn’t want marriage. I think the details of her relationship are her business.

michelle_mixon
Guest
What she did behind closed doors was her business, it became public when she got pregnant, when you’re standing up before people as a leader, you’re business becomes others business. There are certain guidelines and stipulation to any position. I don’t care if you’re in the pulpit, the white house, or the cashier at McDonalds. There are rules, stipulations, and expectations that if I give you this position there are certain behaviors that are acceptable and some that are not. Should you go against any of these then what happens? you loose your job. So it doesn’t matter how she… Read more »
Kirk Benjamin
Guest

I love your response. As a leader much is expected of her and if she’s not in a position to deliver and lead the Lord’s sheep accordingly then she should step aside. We are watering down what it means to be Christians when we accept mediocrity.

souponastick
Guest

I think you’re response nailed it. Nobody is perfect but a pastor’s lifestyle must reflect God’s plan.

Nathan
Guest

You are on point Nicole.

She made a mistake by involving herself in premarital sex as a pastor.
She also made the right choice in keeping the baby..

She only missed it by insisting on holding a leadership position despite her act.

Let her do what she likes but THE BUBLE STILL REMAINS THE STANDARD. ..

Denise Bolds
Guest

I am a certifed birth doula and I would be honored to support Ms. Allen’s birth. http://www.BoldDoula.com

Thomas Brown
Guest

lol, Doula, GTFOH

H.M. Queen Elizabeth II
Guest
H.M. Queen Elizabeth II

Spam is spam.

TREEMAN
Guest

Shame on you.

Bumper1959
Guest

She’s in the wrong job.

Samjetjr
Guest

What’s that supposed to mean?

highroller2012
Guest

1 Peter 4:17King James Version (KJV)

17 For the time is come that judgment must begin at the house of God: and if it first begin at us, what shall the end be of them that obey not the gospel of God?

Blessed By God
Guest

That is not the only church were madness reigns. Many, such as my family, worship at home..

3caramel7
Guest

When I returned to church, I returned to an Anglican church. All are welcome and you are not in church all day or all week neither.This is nonsense! Things happen. Mistakes are made, people get carried away and nobody’s perfect! So if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t bother say it. This pastor and her baby needs all the support and love she can get, no matter what she has said in the past.Next!

Melecia
Guest

The madness is in your statement.

Kl
Guest

Well with your logic of nothing nice to say don’t say nothing at all , then 95% on the Bible needs to go. I will assume her message was against sex before marriage. So this letter she wrote is best example of the down fall of black women. I get normal hypocrisy for your average black chick, but a pastor?

Ele Adejoh
Guest

First Timothy chapter five, verses nineteen to twenty two (2 Tim. 5:19–22)!

FeeFee
Guest

The church is a complete joke. This pregnant pastor fits right in. What a joke.

Thomas Brown
Guest

Pastor was getting them boots knocked. When you in that leadership position speaking down on fornicators, You best be on that pill or make your mad strap up. No sympathy at all for her. You need to practice what you preach.

Me
Guest
She needs to stop. I hate when people blame the church. The church didn’t create the principles Christians should live by…God did. Yes people are wrong for stoning her, but she is wrong for remaining in the pulpit. She is now spreading the message that what she did is ok. So if any other girls in her church fall into the same scenario, no one should say anything. She just gave everyone the freedom to do whatever. When you sit down from ministry its not a punishment. Its a time where you’re supposed to reflect and get counsel, and bring… Read more »
Stephanie Todd
Guest
My issue with this is that, I just don’t believe she was called to serve the Lord. I’m no preacher or saint, but when I began developing a relationship with Christ, there were things I just could not do anymore. There were things I felt convicted in my heart for doing. The closer I grew to Him and grow to Him, the more straight of a path I walk. When you draw close to Him, your ways change, you feel so wrong for making wrong choices, and ultimately, there’s things you just do away with because the desire for them… Read more »
Pamela Cotton
Guest

exposure of a sinful act, living what we preach…
Repentance????Carry on and sin no more????
Being in leadership carries responsibility??? Ye must be accountable ???
Forgiven???
Consequences ???
Falling into sin, and practicing a sinful lifestyle are different ????

Moor
Guest
According to the bible.. she’s a whoreo.. have some accountability for yourself. She is supposed to be following the commandments of GOD.. that means following the bible to the letter. Not deviating when your feelings don’t agree with it.. or whenever it is appropriate.. to shield one from the proper light being shed upon thee. It’s really sad how Pastors continue to take the bible and twist the context of what the scritpture says.. in an attempt to make the scripture agree with, justify / vindicate them for their ‘UnBibliical’ behavior. Sad indeed. This lady is a slutso… simple and… Read more »
Bob
Guest
It is not judge mental just sit her down it is not judge mental to exercise discipline over a pastor who is not acting in a Christian manner. It is biblical to do so they went so far in Corinthian’s as to excommunicate a man who was having sex with his father’s wife so that means that exercising discipline is right and proper and it is not judgment to do so it is biblical people who are doing wrong hide behind that Judge not lest you be judged mess bible also says that if a man send rebuke him before… Read more »
Bella Garcia
Guest

Wrong in so many ways. To feel no shame or remorse when you sin is a sign that something is very wrong. I was not shamed for my sin, however I did sit down from my ministry because I felt it was not right for me to continue trying to lead others when I was not right with God. I pray that she sees the truth, the real truth and not her opinion of what the truth is.

Ramil Amyr
Guest

Black people are so dumb. We just go for anything. How are we still following Christianity in 2016? LOL. On top of that yall dont even follow the religious text. Muslims follow the quran to the tee. Blacks always be second class citizens because of the mental retardation.

Robinson Kyeshia
Guest

Leave that woman alone… There are MARRIED pastors out here reckless just as well. People mistake Christian for having to be perfect. Give it to Gis and move on…,

Teka Jay
Guest

I see people keep posting why they can’t stand Christians but please tell me in what other religion your supposed to be sleeping around with out being married and having children it’s always something said about Christians when every religion preaches sin your supposed to live right when your in a position period no matter what religion you are when you tell the well that you are called by God to be a leader expect to be judged by your actions

Smarter Dias
Guest

Right on. People love to attach Christianity when other religions have just as many prohibitions or even more in Sikhism, Hindu and Islam.

The problem is that people look for a way to defame Christ in any way they can

Mrs0507
Guest

Sin is sin.

Agustus Jones
Guest

I wonder if she’ll appear on Maury?

My Beautiful Africa
Guest

You may make your peace with God, but the respectable thing to do is to step down from that pulpit,you will need to account for people you are misleading with the justification of your error,a lot of wolves in sheep clothing are misleading people about CHRISTIANITY.

TREEMAN
Guest

So there is no such thing as sin?

Melecia
Guest
As a pastor she didn’t take the stance of humiltyshe should have said I sinned and take a leave of absence. What she did was to compare her self with other who sinners and that is not what we are called to do Christ is our example and we strive to be like Him so she is very wrong.…very wrong!!!. She is not humble and as a pastor she did not handle it the Christ like way. She should have said I have sinned against my body and against God ..ask the Church for forgiveness and for a leave of… Read more »
Joyce Ringo-hayes
Guest
I’m not a minister. Just a member of the body that loves the Lord Jesus Christ and ALL of his teachings. Years ago I was a member of a wonderful praise team. I got caught up in fornication before I got married. The Lord whipped my butt so much and vexed my spirit so that I couldn’t even sleep. But that’s the Holy Spirit’s job. So I took myself out and sat down on my own until I could repent repair restore and get myself straight I didn’t stop going to church but I couldn’t stand in front of the… Read more »
Blaqgod
Guest
What kind of spiritual leader is this? How can you preach and teach the word of god and be an example when the leader defies the word themselves? This makes no damn sense and then have the audacity to not show contrition but in so many words tell her congregation that she doesn’t give a damn about what they think and she ain’t resigning. And what’s worse the baby daddy wasn’t by her side when she made this announcement so he’s either a married man„ a married man in that church or someone she’s been having a fling with for… Read more »
ironkong
Guest

but of course ppl defend this. the church allows homo stuff and stealing so why not this. I’m glad i left this hypocritical establishment. ppl preach one thing and do another..pick and choose what scriptures they like.

straightfwd
Guest

Black women of such hypocrisy is the main reason why I’ll never voluntarily step foot into a church again. They single-handedly killed this religion. All the Bible is is a few rules and guidelines to follow that been there for thousands of years and you can’t do something as simple as get married before bringing a child into the world? GOD is looking at you right now basically flipping him the bird and you have no shame at all? Smh. Ok

Andreas
Guest
I agree that she should not allow herself to be condemned…I also agree that we often times hold leaders to lofty expectations…In addition to this, it appears that she is allowing her frustration with people and historical double standards to justify her behavior and the repercussions of that behavior that resulted in pregnancy. I didn’t read anywhere about her repenting for her actions of sin, or begging the people’s pardon for being a leader and not providing the example as such. I am a witness to fairness in this situation, because I was sat down as a boy preacher for… Read more »
dollarbill4life
Guest

The utter HYPOCRISY of the Black Church. Aside from government, there is no greater criminal organization in America that the church. But most of our people are blind, delusional zealots/sycophants, so this minister will get a buddy pass.

Smarter Dias
Guest

It is sad that the Black church spends more time involved in “feeling good” than listening to and reading the word. We need more Bereans a la Acts 17:11

DougH2
Guest

No one knows the Bible anymore. Calling someone out on sin that they are involve in is not judgement. God doesn’t want sin to reign among his people. So looking past it isn’t an option, according to God’s word.

The Blogging Queen
Guest
Look, I’m no Christian and I do get what this woman is saying. However, when I read the part where it says that she felt no shame… I was too through. This is one reason (a BIG one) that the world, generally speaking, can’t take this insane religion seriously. She may have been right about others cherry picking which sin they are going to recognize and those they won’t (regarding the visibility of it) but .…. You’re telling ME that a pastor who has read the so-called “word” of God is telling US that she is not ashamed and more… Read more »
Imade Iyamu
Guest

right? and some so-called Christians are defending this? what a farce.

Ramal Samoth
Guest

what about the father? is he a member of the church? or is he some low life nigga?

sunChild
Guest

LOL. Sigh. The point about living & preaching about a lifestyle is to LIVE IT and testify how it WORKS FOR YOU. Xtianity is a joke as a whole from when it was INTRODUCED in Ethiopia to when it was forced upon our peoples to our current day people celebrating it. But if people want to stay in their delusions, by all means go for it.

Sady
Guest

The sins of good men, whose general deportment has been worthy of imitation, are peculiarly offensive to God. They cause Satan to triumph, and to taunt the angels of God with the failings of God’s chosen instruments, and give the unrighteous occasion to lift themselves up against God.“Ellen G. White, The Story of Redemption, Chapter 21.

Smarter Dias
Guest

So sorry to see that you are following a false prophet. Off the top of my head I don’t remember is this is something she copied or actually wrote herself but there is nowhere in the Bible that says that Stan taunts the angels of God when people sin.

Sin is to be condemned but not at the price of raising up a prophetess who has made false prophecies and is considered “a continuing authority”

Come out of her my people

Willie Gordon
Guest

If she can fornicate and get pregnant as a church leader, then I guess it’s ok for everybody! She leads by example! So…let’s get buck wild in the church! Anything goes! I don’t want to be judged when I fuck every girl in the church! Don’t condemn me when I knock up the deacons wife!

She is not a pastor but a pregnant she-wolf in sheeps clothing. I feel sorry for this church. Let’s just keep prayin!

Tesheila
Guest
For everyone that says she is wrong, what sin are you sitting on…, cause I knit you doing something that is Not PLEASING IN God’s sight o I got one judging I’m pretty sure in matthew 7:1 it’s says do not judge others so God won’t judge you…, or maybe you stand in the way of sinners, ie sitting around talking about everybody, but the word tells us not to, if she asked God to forgive her I’m pretty sure he did because the word says confess your sins unto me and me being the faithful and just God that… Read more »
souponastick
Guest

I’m sorry but if you are leading a church, you need to lead by example and practice what you preach. While we’re all sinners, the pastor has a duty of being a role model to the whole church.

Blessedbythebest
Guest
Being the Shepard of her flock blessings flow, it is a moral responsibility to remain ethical. Don’t block others blessings because of pride. We have to examine ourselves and police ourselves individually, male or female… if I’m not doing right, as a Pastor should I be preaching? It is personal. The baby is a gift and meant to be, but maybe the calling is to be a mom and not a Pastor. This is a no judgement zone here, only when you are a Pastor you are responsible for others and what if the pregnancy never occurred? ‘No one will… Read more »
Jessica2248
Guest

Hey, if you can get God to buy that excuse.…more power to you!

bgilman45
Guest

There is a wide chasm between shame and pride. Some place in the middle is grace and mercy and love.
She is a pastor and she had sex outside marriage . This has nothing to do with male pastors who can hide their sin.
This is hers. And scripture says pastors are held to a higher standard. Period.
So no. She shouldn’t be ashamed and wear a scarlet A. And she doesn’t have to quit.
However , as a pastor she should confess her sin to her flock and ask forgiveness .

ch
Guest

There’s nothing wrong with being pregnant and unmarried. Marriage is a man-made institution, anyhow. The conflict is that she has a job which requires moral leadership and adherence to certain values because you preach those values to other people. She has no reason to be ashamed but she is a hypocrite.

Smarter Dias
Guest

God made marriage in Genesis. However, humans have taken it over and have legislation around it etc. I personally don’t believe in the state saying whether I am married or not, it comes from a formal commitment with God.

Lard_Bick
Guest

I am very very glad I left the christian faith before it was too late. Reliigion is a poison. Making people feel about something that is natural and normal. immean dam if only people realize that all this controversy is over nothing. she had sex, she got pregnant and wasnt married. Who cares?

miavour
Guest

She took a vow to uphold god’s laws. Whether you are religious or not, you should understand a thing called integrity. What she’s doing is dishonorable. It is not just “her business.” Everyone is sinful. Turning your back on the salvation freely given to you over people’s failings is foolish to say the least.

AveryJarhman
Guest

Come to think of it, I have noticed over the past decade or more significant numbers of my American neighbors apparently have deleted the words Shame, Embarrassment and Humiliation from their version of Webster’s American Dictionary of the English Language.

Peace.

visionarydreamer
Guest
Jack Hayford’s Book: “How to restore a fallen spiritual leader”, outlines in detail in a loving, non-judgemental and compassionate way the proper biblical procedures for church discipline for leaders who have engaged in immoral activity. The book is a guide to both the pastor, his peers and the congregation on how to effectively ensure the pastor is restored to their pastorship. The first requirement is that the individual show sincere repentance for what they had done. Second, submission to spiritual counseling and correction. Third, a period of time that the leader must reflect on his or her actions which means… Read more »
TG
Guest

Well said.

miavour
Guest

Spot on

S Hans
Guest

She has no business being a pastor. Who can take her seriously when she is fornication outside marriage? But the goats and sheep will be separated by Christ eventually.

michelle_mixon
Guest

She dead wrong and she needs to sit herself down. She throwing out a bunch of psycho babble that sounds good to her that makes her feel better. You an unwed Pastor and you pregnant? Sit down and get yourself together! Not saying she one day can’t get up again but right now. She’s needs to sit down!

Sarge McVey
Guest

She has every right and obligation to continue to be a pastor NOW and after giving birth. If any should condemn her please let the first look into the mirror and throw the first stone at themselves. Coming to church is not an affirmation of your faith, but is for those who have made mistakes and need the love, faith and warmth of the church to carry on in life.

dstallwell
Guest

There is a different standard held for leadership in the church. A leader should lead by example. What message is she sending tot he young girls in that congregation? Everything is NOT okay.

Sarge McVey
Guest
First it is up to the Church to either retain her services as Pastor, not the public at large. My specific judgement of her is not necessarily that of the Congregation, therefore they who pay her salary (IF ANY) are who must decide if she is still fit to be their Pastor. In addition a very valid point was made in the Article regarding male Pastors who have gotten women Pregnant they were not married to and were still allowed to preach from the pulpit. You may disagree with my view on this issue, that is fine, but until Male… Read more »
Jacquelope
Guest

Yeah and what about all those male pastors who get away with this?

Lala
Guest

She makes valid points. This would be all ok if she wasn’t a Christian and/or preacher. But the woman seems more concerned about people’s opinion than God ‘s word.

maralondon
Guest

I could care less of her personal life but I do see double standards among Christians, to be honest religious people in general. If you are going to uphold yourself as a religious person you need to implement discipline and work hard at being true to your religion before you can come out and pounce on so called ‘non believers’ labeling us sinners and worldly. Sort your own house out first before preaching to others about how they should live their lives.

Henry Dennis III
Guest

This is nonsense on it’s face!
72% OOW black birthrate and all these un-wed mothers swear to god that they are god fearing and church going women.
Somebody is lying here BIG TIME!

Beaute' Naturelle
Guest

You are right but don’t forget the 85% Caucasian abortion rate and not to mention the rate of adultery due to them marrying three and four times. Paula White raise your hand and say amen!

truth
Guest

My only problem is.…what about what God wants her to do as a leader? The entire article is about the church and the followers.…but what about how God sees you for being proud of sinning against him? Yes the church is full of sin and I am exactly in her position…pregnant and I’m not married.…but it never bothered me what the church thought I only worried about what God thought of me. ..and I should find no reason to justify my wrong doings because other’s are doing it. This goes for EVERY SIN.

Buck Eichler
Guest
I believe she made a bad decision, and so did the church to retain her. Not because she got pregnant and was unmarried, not because her sins were more visible than others, but because she apparently decided to ignore a great body of scripture and refused to repent. Confession of sin and repentance from it is a key, undisputed truth for evangelicals. We are all sinners, but in Christ, we confess our sins and turn away from them. It doesn’t mean we won’t revisit them and need to repeat the process. But we will repeat the process throughout our lives.… Read more »
denny crane
Guest

So if your friends jump off a cliff.…..She said men pastor have babies all of the time so she’s OK with standing up there telling others how to act. Really!!!

denny crane
Guest

This is Donald Trump all over again. When your leaders go wrong you have anarchy.

victor
Guest
She should go somewhere and have the baby and come back to the church, if that is truly her calling, carrying that pregnancy and flaunting it in the pulpit and yet preaching, preaching the word of our heavenly Father, c’mon, lets be realistic, Mathew 7: 22 21Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of My Father in heaven. 22Many will say to Me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?’… Read more »
Yvonne Nesbeth
Guest
Wow! I don’t care for the flax I’ll be getting but Woman of God, you have sinned and now walk in darkness. You should step down for violating God’s commandment.How are you going to preach the unadultered words of God when you have been living in sin. We are living in serious times when our consciences are no longer disturbed. Holiness unto the Lord, now and forever more. Yes! You must be given support but you need to step down.David sinned and went into repentance mood, you are justifying your action, come on, God is not pleased with you.Too many… Read more »
dstallwell
Guest

Unvarnished Truth.…

This_That_Guy
Guest

And she’ll be held to the same standard as those adulterous male pastors, she’ll have to answer to God just like they will

Daisy
Guest
She should not be preaching at this point PERIOD. Yes! God forgives and no, we shouldn’t judge. The thing is Though God is forgiving it doesn’t exempt you from consequences. She is a leader… the Shepard in her church and though we ALL sin this makes a mockery of God. She was well aware of what could happen if she had sex. I’m guessing she allowed herself to be in a situation of temptation and the Bible says that if you are being tempted God will give you a way out. All of this “it ain’t none of our business… Read more »
Kingsley Maritz
Guest
Before you strangle or insult me, just understand that I am not judging anyone. I myself I am no better, even though I do go around living in habitual sin. The problem with the Church today, and this is why the Church is performing below par, because we have pastors who cannot uphold the standard of the gospel. They live in wilful sin, justifying it with other ministers or Christians attitude. When you sleep with a man or woman outside marriage it is called fornication. The bible tells us to flee fornication, yet people occupying the pulpit engage in it,… Read more »
Troublemann
Guest

100% agree.

Summer Chandler
Guest

I believe in embracing people and restoring them in love but there also needs to be some contrition on the part of the pastor because she is supposed to lead by example.

I speak the truth
Guest
Okay so I am not here to disrespect this pastor. However I will speak the truth. If she is head of a church that is wrong within itself and breaking scripture (1 Timothy 3:2–12) I realize many people are not receiving the true doctrine and that’s why people who proclaim to Christians are doing any and everything inside and outside the church. This pastor should not be preaching to people about fornication( Sex without being married) how can you bring someone out of sin if you’re still in sin. Please stop saying this was a mistake, a mistake is taking… Read more »
TG
Guest

Amen!

New Babe In Christ
Guest
I am a woman and I am glad you brought up the scripture of what the role of men and women are in the church, “I speak the truth”. Let’s not forget 1 Timothy 2:9–15. Women must be modest and sit in silence. We may live in a world of sin but God gave us free-will. So… if she is supposed to be a “pastor”, she should have been living by example though scripture. But then again, she clearly proved the EXACT reason why Paul stated this in 1 Timothy in the first place. Women shouldn’t be leaders in the… Read more »
Shiru
Guest

What about the priests who molest children then? Shouldn’t that be a reason for men to not be leaders in the pulpit, as you say? Can we just stop with the double standards already.

Beaute' Naturelle
Guest

Good one!

Beaute' Naturelle
Guest
SHUT UP WITH THAT CRAP WOMEN SHOULD NOT BE LEADERS OF THE CHURCH. In a culture where women were forbidden to study the Torah, Jesus invited them to “sit at His feet.” (Luke 10:38–42). In a century where the culture dictated that women’s work was entirely confined to the home, Jesus invited women to travel as ministers (Luke 8:1–3). In a century where the culture thought women were considered unreliable, Jesus invited them to witness (to men) the epic event of the resurrection. 1 Timothy 2:12, which says, “Women should learn quietly and submissively. I do not let women teach… Read more »
Timothy-Radica Quackenbos Sr.
Guest
Timothy-Radica Quackenbos Sr.

Couldnt agree more with your responce. The standard is not her opinion or action The Word Is just that The Word. If we change any of it we deminish its power of authority leading into deception. Bet anything she also has no standard on homosexuality either. Spirit of self deception as Romans 1 declares. Reptobate minds for rejecting conviction of Holy Spirit as a restriction rather than loving leadership authority. Sad how many sitting in chirch every week believe a false leader instead of reading the manual. Bible

Nads
Guest

Your speaking about the Word but only the part to put her down it also speak about praying for the fallen bro r sis

Proxymuxx
Guest

You are spot on. Couldn’t fault your standpoint.

Nads
Guest

Who are you to judge her? Do you know the relationship she has with the Lord we only have one judge allow God to judge her he who is without sin cast the first stone be careful how you speak about the woman of God leave her to God

Shiru
Guest

So being ‘delivered’ means being completely free of sin? Of course not. Pastors and church leaders sin every day, yet they still preach. It’s just that in this case, the consequences of her ‘sin’ is visible to everyone else. People tend to forget that these ‘servants of God’ are just human beings like you and I, and are in need of God’s grace too.

Dante Rucker
Guest

She not the head of the church, this story is misleading! Inaccurate reporting. Do your own research people before being so quick to believe everything you see.

Troublemann
Guest

To often so called pastors today have loss their way. Their job is to win souls for Christ.

Dianne Cybele Coulonge
Guest
Dianne Cybele Coulonge
She was given two precious gifts by God — her voice and now a child. Who better to reach out to other single mothers? Who better to reach out to men trying to do the right thing by their children? Who better to reach out to all the folks struggling with carrying a pregnancy to term or not? That’s what the judgmental don’t get. The church is a living, breathing Body. What would Jesus do? Would he shame her? We know from scripture he would not. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone, and no one will… Read more »
Michelle A. Dowell-Vest
Guest

comment image Good for her. Live your truth pastor. Maybe your next message could be.…

EducatedTom
Guest

You know how stupid that sounds live your truth. Might as well say hail Satan if you’re not going to at least follow the book one claims to follow

DDM
Guest

This is exactly why I hate church folks. Judgemental and hypocrites. Good for her for not allowing the church to shame her.

Jacquelope
Guest
Pity I don’t live in NYC, I’d visit there. It’s a beautiful thing that nobody thinks twice about a black woman pastor anymore. At least the 21st century delivered on a few promises, eh? Now we need to get over the pregnancy thing and stop being such judgemental hypocrites. I guess that’s our goal for the 21st-and-a-half century? It’s true, male pastors do get women pregnant on the sly and they cover it up. To heck with this scarlet letter nonsense, we know how that ended. You go, Desiree Allen, make the 21st century great again even if America failed… Read more »
hopefulone1967
Guest
She shouldn’t continue in a position of leadership and authority in the church at this time. That’s clear. If a male pastor gets someone pregnant outside of wedlock then he should have to step down also. The leaders of the church need to be above reproach in their behavior and they are held more accountable in the Bible. What example does she set? She should certainly continue attending church and maybe return to a leadership position after a period of restoration. But her blatant disregard for the Word is upsetting. I would not attend this church and have a leader… Read more »
Olareal
Guest

True words!

Nicola Roy
Guest
Things like this is why so many Christians are converting to other religions! There’s it much difference between worldly behaviour and Christian behaviour. Christians don’t even try no more, it’s like I’ll do whatever I want and use God’s love to blackmail Him and the church. Gods loves me so I don’t need to change or live right, I just need some fancy words talk about how much my sins are Ok! They have faith but they are fed up with the double talking christians who can talk the talk but not walk the walk. They can preach and teach… Read more »
Kamita
Guest
I don’t totally disagree with you, but people fall daily. God knows her heart and knows if she lives a life of effort to please HIM and failed at this time to beat the temptation or if she is just running around doing what she wants behind closed doors and now it has caught up to her. It’s the heart and intentions that God is more concerned with. We ALL fall and we fall DAILY. This is exactly why Jesus died because it is impossible for us not to fail without HIM. If you are on here posting your position,… Read more »
Ms_favawalka
Guest
Clearly by reading most comments on this thread, one can depict whose a saint and those who are ain’t. The bible says, You shall know them by their fruits, Matthew 7:16. The bible says be holy because the Lord is holy. What about that? What a shame in how the body of Christ has lost its witness? Nowadays every immoral thing has crept into the pulpits and public opinion has placed its stamp of approval on it to say don’t judge because you will be judged. The bible speaks about clean and holy living how about that! I pray for… Read more »
Ms_favawalka
Guest
In response to the individuals which still support this behavior and and action of a so called Pastor fornicating while pastoring then gets pregnant outside of marriage and wants to be commended for her outright rebellion against God word then remain as a pastor, are spiritually dead anyways! I don’t expect any of these folks to agree with me because they are already against the Lord’s holy standards so why would I be shocked that some are emailing me with their spirtually dead and disconnected views of Jesus Christ standards of living. The answer is that you can’t expect much… Read more »
Gia
Guest

But how are you going to tell me what to do when you have sinned before God. We all fall short of the glory of God. Step down and make your way back. No one is telling you that you cannot enjoy your pregnancy or should be ashamed of your baby. I believe that you do not have the right to tell me about the splinter in my eye when you have a rafter in yours. Chill. Your comeback will be great.

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